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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2016 20:25:21 GMT -5
worksforme2 said: "She was also diagnosed(her MD) as having mild depression," In my experience, sex can be a good relief from depression. And, there may be some scientific validity to this - sex can release endorphins. So, I wasn't just imagining it, ha ha!
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Post by thefullmoon on Dec 16, 2016 21:03:12 GMT -5
So my refuser is not far from menopause, a few months away from turning 50, periods every other month for a while, now skipped about 3 months. And I actually had the thought, "HEY!! Maybe she will have a normal sex drive if she gets hormone replacement therapy" followed by.. "How desperate am I to be so hopeful that she will have a bad menopause experience and need external hormones to be normal." We have a wonderful life together these 20+ years except for the every other month "I take pity on you/are you done yet" sex we've had since the beginning. With 20 years of refusals and avoidance in between. She could care less about getting medically evaluated for low libido, and I grab at straws that finally a doctor might accidentally fix it with extra hormones. Then my heart sinks that women everywhere get a lower libido after menopause. Like my window of sexual happiness is closing. I'm not angry. But the total loss of my sex life in the near future makes me think I need to take some action.  No, no!!!! Not every woman going through perimenopause experiences low libido!! In fact, my libido has increased since the start of my changes. I am also taking Lexapro and that is also supposed to decrease drive. Not for me!! There are other women here who will tell you that they still have a drive even when going through changes!! Don't give up hope!! There are women out there who want it!! Believe me!!!! Don't want to kill the last hope, but do you think there is a lot of room for one taking into account " With 20 years of refusals and avoidance in between." ? Definetely many women experience higher libido during/after menopause, but have you heard about frigid women suddenly became horny in menopause? |
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Post by lwoetin on Dec 17, 2016 2:01:53 GMT -5
I would (am?) grasp at straws myself if I see the window closing. HRT option is not a straw that I like though. But I would prop that window open with a brick or 2x4 until menopause crushes it into pieces, or not.
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Post by lwoetin on Dec 17, 2016 2:06:28 GMT -5
Double post...
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Post by ggold on Dec 17, 2016 11:10:58 GMT -5
No, no!!!! Not every woman going through perimenopause experiences low libido!! In fact, my libido has increased since the start of my changes. I am also taking Lexapro and that is also supposed to decrease drive. Not for me!! There are other women here who will tell you that they still have a drive even when going through changes!! Don't give up hope!! There are women out there who want it!! Believe me!!!! Don't want to kill the last hope, but do you think there is a lot of room for one taking into account " With 20 years of refusals and avoidance in between." ? Definetely many women experience higher libido during/after menopause, but have you heard about frigid women suddenly became horny in menopause? Not much hope for the woman he is with now. Hope that if he ever exits he will find a woman who will love him and provide him with the intimacy he needs. I am saying not all women who are going through changes or who are in menopause lose their drive. |
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Post by solodriver on Dec 18, 2016 5:14:42 GMT -5
Don't want to kill the last hope, but do you think there is a lot of room for one taking into account " With 20 years of refusals and avoidance in between." ? Definetely many women experience higher libido during/after menopause, but have you heard about frigid women suddenly became horny in menopause? Not much hope for the woman he is with now. Hope that if he ever exits he will find a woman who will love him and provide him with the intimacy he needs. I am saying not all women who are going through changes or who are in menopause lose their drive. And God love them all!  It gives me so much hope and something to look forward to.
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Post by Lithium92 on Dec 18, 2016 6:27:16 GMT -5
Hate to rain on your parade but I was where you are a few years ago. My wife took the decision to go on HRT for her own reasons to cope with other menopausal issues and I went through the same 'yes please, God...' period.
The HRT helped with the other problems - brain for, tiredness, etc - but made no difference to her libido. It's nothing to do with physical menopausal changes that can lead to pain during sex either. She's just not interested in sex. As Laplace said when asked why his account of the universe didn't include God: "I had no need of that hypothesis".
I did a bunch of researching about this. The cheerleading 'love your menopause' type blogs gloss over it but basically about a third of women want sex more, about a third don't change, and the rest want it less, a sizeable proportion of whom become effectively asexual. The best predictor, as others have said, is how much they liked sex premenopause.
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Post by ggold on Dec 18, 2016 9:45:14 GMT -5
Not much hope for the woman he is with now. Hope that if he ever exits he will find a woman who will love him and provide him with the intimacy he needs. I am saying not all women who are going through changes or who are in menopause lose their drive. And God love them all! It gives me so much hope and something to look forward to.
Great attitude!!!! |
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 20, 2016 14:42:24 GMT -5
worksforme2 said: - sex can release endorphins. So, I wasn't just imagining it, ha ha! Endorphins aren't the only thing that could be released during sex...... Bwahaahaha !!!!! |
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It gives me so much hope and something to look forward to. 
