Communication breakdown...

I may be totally wrong here but these are my thoughts. the proper answer. That was disrespectful,immature  childish, and arrogant. If you are going to continue to act like a spoiled child, you will be disciplined like one. I will not tolerate such disrespect, You do it, right now, I am not your servant. You will apologize to me for speaking to me like that. Next time you can get up and down and close the gate for every year of your age, like we used to do with disrespectful children. 

She will probably be so taken back, awe struck, and angry that she will be in fear of you, and not do anything. You can leave the room, or demand that she leaves. 

What have you got to loose?  What's she going to do, not have sex anymore? The kids are gone, she can't use them against you anymore. You will be setting a boundary, and be prepared to stick to it.  You will be ending a "yes dear, happy wife, happy life, tradition." You will be announcing this is war, and be ready for battle. wait till she has to speak with an attorney, a mediator, a judge, an accountant, a banker, the children, neighbors, and relatives. She will not get far with her narc. attitude. Let her fire attorney after attorney that doesn't do things exactly the way she wants it. A good attorney on your side will make damn sure that every dime of it comes from her half of the 50/50 split.

On a similar note my wife is working from home now. I hear her dialect and attitude with her employees. She is there boss. Comments like, "what are you going to get done today? That's not a top priority, move that down on your list. That's irrelevant, okay that's not important right now, lets continue on what i told you to do. Now is not the time for that. etc...

Not a very happy sounding person. For years her company wanted her to be the manager. She would turn it down. She claims she liked the hands on work better than the paperwork and managing others. Now here she is the manager. There was also the complaining about her old managers lack of experience and knowledge, working in the field  with the customer, she's got the experience with that on her side.

My point is, she brings that home with her, that's who she is. She treats me ,the husband, and the children as employees who are incompetent, beneath her, and someone she can rule over. 

My sympathy is there for her. A little. However, the price of her actions are to great to just feel sorry for her, instead there is going to be a BIG change in the power structure through the divorce.  It took 23 yrs to come to the conclusion that any other way is a waste of time, I might have slowed it down a little at times, but actions are necessary. The war has begun.

Where here for you friend.

And then, some people just want to watch the world burn.