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Post by JonDoe on Dec 9, 2016 17:54:04 GMT -5
I've reached a point in this shithole where I still look forward to weekends because I generally put my work aside for 60 consecutive hours, but I'm starting to dread weekends too because I can't stop thinking about how much I want to connect physically and emotionally with a woman. I feel like a sex addict who is driven by his urges, but never acts out on them. Perhaps I need to join a twelve step program, even though I've been "clean" for over two years.
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Post by nancyb on Dec 9, 2016 17:56:06 GMT -5
Hello, I'm NancyB and have been celibate for over a decade. Guess I get a lucky chip or something.
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Post by baza on Dec 9, 2016 18:17:08 GMT -5
"Many a word spoken in jest" have a lot of truth in them.
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At the same time I was in my ILIASM deal, I was also in a 12 step program (GamAnon - a support group for fiends / family where there is a gambling issue in the dynamic).
I found the 12 step thing tremendously valuable for the actual GamAnon aspects, AND, the principles being really really helpful as they applied to my ILIASM deal as well.
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Potentially, I reckon a 12 step program for refused spouses could be really useful.
Dunno what we'd call it though.
"RootAnon" maybe ??
The 12 step thing isn't for everyone I guess, but I found it to be of great value generally, as well as specifically.
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Post by JonDoe on Dec 9, 2016 18:21:44 GMT -5
I would make a terrible sponser for a sexaholics anonymous 12 step program. Just saying...
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Post by thebaffledking on Dec 9, 2016 18:50:04 GMT -5
Hi everyone. My name is thebaffledking and I haven't had sex with my wife in over 8 years......with MY wife......her fateful decision of course.......all systems are go for a beautiful life in OppositeLand. Like cagedtiger , after a grueling schedule of failures to launch, January is my exit month (ran into a burst of family visit plans for the holidays, oh well)......after the holidays, it's clear sailing and I'll be ridin' my fully rigged schooner right on out of this ShitHole. Yep, the weekends are the WORST. I go and lift weights, diddle around, and have been known to go park the van and just sit there for an hour, giving myself the solitude needed for planning and reflection and dreaming of a better life.......but overall, I do a lot of standing around looking like I forgot where I left something......and I did......my LIFE.  |
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Post by RexCorvus on Dec 11, 2016 11:17:15 GMT -5
I was in a 12 step program, AA, from the age of 15 through 18 and realized alcohol and drugs weren’t my problem, “ I” was my problem. But as you said brother baza , there were a lot of lessons learned there that are useful in applying to our SM. Weekends suck for me for a different reason now. Every morning as I’m driving into work, I get to talk to my Gorgeous Goddess, and hear her voice from 1000 miles away. On most days, I usually get to talk to her again around mid day. Sometimes we even get to video call and I get to see her gorgeous face. Over the weekends, we text as often as we can and she sends me selfies so I can see her gorgeous face but, I miss hearing her voice. Like you brother thebaffledking , I distract myself by lifting weights or running which helps. I also have college homework and studying for exams which occupy my time. Each day brings me closer to being with her. We are at the beginning, but our journey to our future together has begun. We can see the meeting place upon the mountain high, we just have to press on and find our path there. RC |
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Post by ggold on Dec 12, 2016 19:34:37 GMT -5
Weekends do suck. He's home all day and the tension rises. He's mostly miserable and brings my energy down. We do not argue and engage in small talk especially because of the kids. I at least TRY to show happiness because I don't want the kids to see two parents moping around the house!
I also have a tough time when he is home from work (he takes several days off in Dec.) and when he works from home. We'll be home alone, no kids, and have zero conversation about our situation. We both just ignore what we should be discussing and talk about random shit. I work part-time and avoid rushing home on these days.
I SO look forward to the weekdays now!!! My ride into work each day is now uplifting and puts a HUGE smile on my face. <3
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