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Lieing
Dec 7, 2016 15:42:59 GMT -5
Post by darktippedrose on Dec 7, 2016 15:42:59 GMT -5
Does anyone else have problems with their refuser outright lieing?
When I have confronted my husband on his cheating, he said that he bought the condoms for me. But he KNOWS I hate condoms. With a vengeance.
Some had been opened and someone REALLY liked their chocolate flavored condoms. yuck! (no offense to those that do).
He doesn't remember rejecting me for sex.
I could go on.
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 7, 2016 15:50:21 GMT -5
After I asked for a divorce I was trying to get my husband to understand and accept that we have no business being married and that we are incompatible.
So I told him, that he is a selfish person, that he got oral every time we had sex yet he never gave it.
His response: Yes I did!
My response: no you didn't.
Then he redirected the conversation back to give him another chance, blah blah blah
Last lie he told me.
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Post by darktippedrose on Dec 7, 2016 16:00:05 GMT -5
After I asked for a divorce I was trying to get my husband to understand and accept that we have no business being married and that we are incompatible. So I told him, that he is a selfish person, that he got oral every time we had sex yet he never gave it. His response: Yes I did! My response: no you didn't. Then he redirected the conversation back to give him another chance, blah blah blah Last lie he told me. yes, my husband licked me a couple of times but it hurt. I'd hardly call it oral. and he basically said he degraded himself to prove his love for me. |
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 7, 2016 16:15:01 GMT -5
After I asked for a divorce I was trying to get my husband to understand and accept that we have no business being married and that we are incompatible. So I told him, that he is a selfish person, that he got oral every time we had sex yet he never gave it. His response: Yes I did! My response: no you didn't. Then he redirected the conversation back to give him another chance, blah blah blah Last lie he told me. yes, my husband licked me a couple of times but it hurt. I'd hardly call it oral. and he basically said he degraded himself to prove his love for me. I have no words, actually I do but I'm using self control. Your husband is a piece of shit asshole. Ok a few words but I was still using self control. Hugs |
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Post by wewbwb on Dec 7, 2016 16:23:40 GMT -5
I have no words, actually I do but I'm using self control. Your husband is a piece of shit asshole. Ok a few words but I was still using self control. Hugs  Seriously - that's funny- I'm sorry. |
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Post by wewbwb on Dec 7, 2016 16:28:50 GMT -5
I cannot relate to your situation.
As stated in other threads I LOVE going down on a woman.
I love it.
I miss it.
A lot.
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Post by novembercomingfire on Dec 7, 2016 16:30:54 GMT -5
I cannot relate to your situation. As stated in other threads I LOVE going down on a woman. I love it. I miss it. A lot. Not to interrupt, but there are also more of us who miss this very much ... what a horrible thing to say to you and what an unfathomable concept. I wish much better for you. |
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 7, 2016 16:41:17 GMT -5
I have no words, actually I do but I'm using self control. Your husband is a piece of shit asshole. Ok a few words but I was still using self control. Hugs Seriously - that's funny- I'm sorry. I know if you could have read my mind and if I didn't feel bad for the asshole at the time I would have let him have it. A simple, I think if you went down on me I would remember it and if you did and I can't remember then that speaks volumes too. Of course the issue was what a taker he was and not a giver. |
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Post by southerngirl on Dec 7, 2016 16:44:23 GMT -5
Does he lie? It's his native language. But if he were having sex with someone else and refusing me -
AW. HELL. NO.
Chocolate condoms - for you? Lemme guess. Does he say it's cause he loves you, Baby?
Somebody have to come bail my ass out of jail.
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Post by jim44444 on Dec 7, 2016 17:29:27 GMT -5
darktippedrose and bballgirl, your (ex)husbands are mentally ill. It is one thing to lie about something insignificant and nonverifiable. To say the store was out of your favorite fruit when he just forgot to get it is wrong but just human stupidity. But to lie about giving you oral sex when you know damn well he did not - that is just crazy. Unless he is confusing you with another woman. Which is even crazier. Reading threads like this causes me to question whether my marriage has any significant problems. We learned the joy of oral sex before we married and still enjoy it although the frequency has plummeted. Like wewbwb I cannot wrap my mind around not engaging in oral pleasures and other sexual positions/acts.
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Post by bballgirl on Dec 7, 2016 17:36:58 GMT -5
darktippedrose and bballgirl, your (ex)husbands are mentally ill. It is one thing to lie about something insignificant and nonverifiable. To say the store was out of your favorite fruit when he just forgot to get it is wrong but just human stupidity. But to lie about giving you oral sex when you know damn well he did not - that is just crazy. Unless he is confusing you with another woman. Which is even crazier. Reading threads like this causes me to question whether my marriage has any significant problems. We learned the joy of oral sex before we married and still enjoy it although the frequency has plummeted. Like wewbwb I cannot wrap my mind around not engaging in oral pleasures and other sexual positions/acts. I was shocked to hear his response but thankful to have outsourced and to know better and not be a victim of gas lighting. Mentally not all there. He tried to prey on naevity that he thought I still possessed. Sounds like you have a good marriage.  The lack of sex really was the least of our troubles but it was a huge issue for me. |
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Post by baza on Dec 7, 2016 21:08:05 GMT -5
Refusing / avoidant behaviour goes hand in glove with lying Sister DTR.
They are constant companions.
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You never hear a refuser say something like -
"your attitude gives me the shits, to the extent that I have no sexual desire left for you at all"
"you are the worst root I've ever had and I am in no hurry to ever root you again"
"I don't love you any more"
"I far prefer to root my affair partner"
"I am actually full on gay"
Or any other fairly truthful explanation.
What you will get, is lies.
"I have (insert vague undiagnosed medical issue here)"
"Mars and Jupiter are not in alignment"
"I am too tired / stressed / busy"
And, invariably if you take a real good look at your deal, lying about refusal / avoidance ain't the only aspect of the relationship where lying happens.
It ain't so much the lack of sex in a relationship that is the problem (not wanting sex is a perfectly legitimate position to take) but rather it is the lying about it, the bullshit about it, the inauthenticity about it, the sheer subterfuge and untruthfulness about it that drives you out.
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