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Post by LITW on Dec 7, 2016 13:25:14 GMT -5
Ever have one of those days where you cannot think of what to say, no matter the situation? I have them often. today is such a day.
When my brain is overworked and words do not come easy, I stumble over my words, so I end up sounding like a fool, at least to me I do, and although I can be foolish, I know I am not a fool. For me, feeling stupid is probably the worst thing I can imagine, so on days like this I tend to keep my mouth shut and avoid people so I won't have to talk to them. Then I wonder what they are thinking of me because I am not being social. Do they think I am being anti-social? Or something else?
Somehow in the midst of everything, being held is the most helpful thing I can think of. It grounds me. How I would love to be held right now.
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Post by southerngirl on Dec 7, 2016 13:51:13 GMT -5
Yes. All the time. And then I wonder if I'm a narcissist just for thinking that other people must sit around wondering why I am the way I am when in reality they probably aren't even thinking of me at all. And then I get depressed. No one thinks of me. I make myself crazy going in circles. I'd love to be held, too. Just to quiet the chaos in my head. Maybe we need to find a non-affair person willing to just meet for hugs. I could go for that. Are there any of those hook-up websites for huggers? Huggers Anonymous perhaps? Sign me up.
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Post by wewbwb on Dec 7, 2016 14:12:57 GMT -5
southerngirlWe have a thread about "cuddle parties" I know that you mean about the "chaos" and "noise" in one's mind. I am not sure if you meditate but it may help. Also - welcome, to the "club no one wants to be in" And I'm sure people think of you all the time.
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Post by southerngirl on Dec 7, 2016 14:24:43 GMT -5
Cuddle Parties. Yes. I like the sound of that. I do have people who think of me. I learned a long time ago how to choose friends carefully. I don't do well with happily married friends. They expect to do couple things together and I get jealous. I don't do single friends - they get to date and I get jealous. I found a good group of older lady friends, several of them widows. They have free time as do I. We enjoy doing things together. We can talk about things without it turning into relationship conversation. It works. Except they kind of stink at the kind of hugs and cuddles I'd like. But support is support and I'm glad for it.
Mediation - ah yes. I hear it's great. I do try. I know they call it "practicing meditation" because it requires practice. But I'm about as reliable as I was when I took piano lessons at the age of 7. Self-discipline isn't one of my best qualities.
Anyway - just wanted to say - YES! I'D LOVE TO BE HELD! I'll settle for an online ((((wewbwb))))
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Post by misssunnybunny on Dec 7, 2016 17:06:56 GMT -5
A. I feel that way too, not knowing what to say, so I say nothing. Or the conversation gets to a point and I have no idea how to continue it. Heck, there are times I don't post here (and I want to) because I don't know what to say, or think people might think it is stupid. B. Being held, cuddled, snuggled? Yes, please.  |
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Post by LITW on Dec 7, 2016 17:40:39 GMT -5
Cuddle Parties. Yes. I like the sound of that. I do have people who think of me. I learned a long time ago how to choose friends carefully. I don't do well with happily married friends. They expect to do couple things together and I get jealous. I don't do single friends - they get to date and I get jealous. I found a good group of older lady friends, several of them widows. They have free time as do I. We enjoy doing things together. We can talk about things without it turning into relationship conversation. It works. Except they kind of stink at the kind of hugs and cuddles I'd like. But support is support and I'm glad for it. Mediation - ah yes. I hear it's great. I do try. I know they call it "practicing meditation" because it requires practice. But I'm about as reliable as I was when I took piano lessons at the age of 7. Self-discipline isn't one of my best qualities. Anyway - just wanted to say - YES! I'D LOVE TO BE HELD! I'll settle for an online ((((wewbwb)))) Thanks for your reply southerngirl. I am not that good at meditation either .. I think its my ADHD. Focusing on anything that does not involve external stimuli for more than a couple of minutes is beyond me. Count me in for the online cuddle party since I can't go to a real one. |
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Post by baza on Dec 7, 2016 21:34:04 GMT -5
Dysfunctional marriage does your head in, gets you thinking weird shit, gets you making uninformed choices that feed back in to the loop.
I must have typed that 200+ times over the years on EP and here.
And, it is so awfully difficult to bust out of the ILIASM shithole thinking.
It starts to pervade other aspects of your life, other relationships in your life.
It's poisonous.
And it is insidious. It sneaks up you like a thief in the night, and all of a sudden after years of this bullshit, you might catch a glimpse of yourself and think "what the fuck have I done to myself ?"
And it is a long long journey back out of the fog, longer still if you remain in the environment that is causing the problem in the first place.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Dec 9, 2016 8:27:14 GMT -5
Cuddle Parties. Yes. I like the sound of that. I do have people who think of me. I learned a long time ago how to choose friends carefully. I don't do well with happily married friends. They expect to do couple things together and I get jealous. I don't do single friends - they get to date and I get jealous. I found a good group of older lady friends, several of them widows. They have free time as do I. We enjoy doing things together. We can talk about things without it turning into relationship conversation. It works. Except they kind of stink at the kind of hugs and cuddles I'd like. But support is support and I'm glad for it. Mediation - ah yes. I hear it's great. I do try. I know they call it "practicing meditation" because it requires practice. But I'm about as reliable as I was when I took piano lessons at the age of 7. Self-discipline isn't one of my best qualities. Anyway - just wanted to say - YES! I'D LOVE TO BE HELD! I'll settle for an online ((((wewbwb)))) {{hugs}} I know it's not the same but the sentiment is there. Search for the "fuck that" guided meditation- its fucking GREAT. |
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