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Post by JonDoe on Dec 4, 2016 22:56:25 GMT -5
Wait? You moved back into the bedroom, I'm assuming to make a go of it? And you lead with that? Did you swap rooms or agree to try to work at the relationship? I'm confused too.
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Post by JMX on Dec 4, 2016 23:49:18 GMT -5
Wait? You moved back into the bedroom, I'm assuming to make a go of it? And you lead with that? Did you swap rooms or agree to try to work at the relationship? I'm confused too. I believe you are newer, no? If you have read any of my former EP stuff, you would know that I tend to take one step forward and two steps back. It's kind of my MO  I was weak, wore down after reset was too much for me to resist while pushing for a divorce I had already worked out but not put to actual "do it!" My bad. I took a break while learning a new job. The excuses are endless. It's sad, but I am okay currently. Still working it out. |
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Post by sweetplumeria on Dec 5, 2016 2:51:08 GMT -5
I tend to take one step forward and two steps back. It's kind of my MO [/quote] Your not the only one... it happens to many of us. |
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Post by JonDoe on Dec 5, 2016 7:47:30 GMT -5
Wait? You moved back into the bedroom, I'm assuming to make a go of it? And you lead with that? Did you swap rooms or agree to try to work at the relationship? I'm confused too. I believe you are newer, no? If you have read any of my former EP stuff, you would know that I tend to take one step forward and two steps back. It's kind of my MO I was weak, wore down after reset was too much for me to resist while pushing for a divorce I had already worked out but not put to actual "do it!" My bad. I took a break while learning a new job. The excuses are endless. It's sad, but I am okay currently. Still working it out. I totally get it, I've been waffling for years myself. Since you are back in the bedroom, I assume there is at least a small part of you that still hopes it can work it out. Either way, here are two podcasts that you might find worth listening too. oneextraordinarymarriage.com/336-your-spouse-isnt-the-problem/oneextraordinarymarriage.com/332-releasing-resentment/I hope it helps you in at least some small way even if it doesn't save your marriage. |
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Post by darktippedrose on Dec 6, 2016 14:31:32 GMT -5
yes they do, just never in a good way lol
my husband says the condoms he bought long time ago were for me, apparently he forgot I hate condoms.
He forgot how to make me come.
He forgot how to cook eggs and then recently relearned it again.
I could go on.
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Post by sweetplumeria on Dec 8, 2016 2:43:39 GMT -5
yes they do, just never in a good way lol my husband says the condoms he bought long time ago were for me, apparently he forgot I hate condoms. He forgot how to make me come. He forgot how to cook eggs and then recently relearned it again. I could go on. Are you suggesting he could relearn how to have sex? Lol do go on.... can you reteach my spouse next? ( secret notes item 1.The secret is starting with the relearning of the eggs) |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Dec 8, 2016 8:19:27 GMT -5
JMX - I know a lot of uncertainty was from financial stuff so I'm glad you gave yourself slack on this front while learning a new job. I hope it has good compensation that goes with it. Sometimes taking a break is good. Gives you time for some parts to heal up (or scar over). Here though, from caring a lot, I have to SAY: don't let him fuck your finances again. What you & your parents did for your finances, to handle taxes & debts (secret loan so his mom wouldn't know) - H never handled any of that like an adult. So be open with your heart, if you want to & feel it is warranted- but do protect your finances from his damaging habits, ok? Stay strong, sister, no matter what room you sleep in.
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Post by darktippedrose on Dec 8, 2016 13:05:05 GMT -5
yes they do, just never in a good way lol my husband says the condoms he bought long time ago were for me, apparently he forgot I hate condoms. He forgot how to make me come. He forgot how to cook eggs and then recently relearned it again. I could go on. Are you suggesting he could relearn how to have sex? Lol do go on.... can you reteach my spouse next? ( secret notes item 1.The secret is starting with the relearning of the eggs) lol. I'm dieing here. I wish it was that easy. I had a hug 2 years ago. and it was the worst thing in the world. if I had that skill, I'd be sooooo rich. omg. |
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Post by csl on Dec 8, 2016 16:12:52 GMT -5
yes they do, just never in a good way lol my husband says the condoms he bought long time ago were for me, apparently he forgot I hate condoms. He forgot how to make me come. He forgot how to cook eggs and then recently relearned it again. I could go on. Are you suggesting he could relearn how to have sex? Lol do go on.... can you reteach my spouse next? ( secret notes item 1.The secret is starting with the relearning of the eggs) If he actually would like to learn, it couldn't hurt for him to visit: giveheranorgasm.com/ |
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Post by baza on Dec 8, 2016 20:46:52 GMT -5
People change ?
Sure they do.
Without taxing the memory too much, The names of NYArtGal, GeekGoddess, SleeplessKnight come to mind.
If you read their original stories, then their most recent ones, you would not recognize them as the same people.
Indeed, if you look at any current members original postings, and compare with their most recent, there are many people who are in the process of changing.
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Post by nancyb on Dec 8, 2016 20:56:01 GMT -5
People change ? Sure they do. Without taxing the memory too much, The names of NYArtGal, GeekGoddess, SleeplessKnight come to mind. If you read their original stories, then their most recent ones, you would not recognize them as the same people. Indeed, if you look at any current members original postings, and compare with their most recent, there are many people who are in the process of changing. It's a metamorphosis... |
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Post by baza on Dec 8, 2016 21:02:58 GMT -5
Yeah Sister nancyb, "metamorphosis" is maybe a better word.
Or maybe "evolvement".
Or maybe "personal growth".
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Post by GeekGoddess on Dec 9, 2016 8:23:37 GMT -5
baza - I'm not sure if the butterfly remembers their caterpillar stage? When I read your comment, I thought "really?" It feels like I haven't changed sometimes, & at other times, the SM geekgoddess feels like that was a bad dream. Same with my sobriety journey - others see things I don't notice & when they point it out, I feel surprised & it takes a minute to see what they mean. I'm so grateful to EP & this forum for helping me grow into me.
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Post by cagedtiger on Dec 9, 2016 8:51:31 GMT -5
baza - I'm not sure if the butterfly remembers their caterpillar stage? When I read your comment, I thought "really?" It feels like I haven't changed sometimes, & at other times, the SM geekgoddess feels like that was a bad dream. Same with my sobriety journey - others see things I don't notice & when they point it out, I feel surprised & it takes a minute to see what they mean. I'm so grateful to EP & this forum for helping me grow into me. They do remember it. I think you'll find this story relevant: www.radiolab.org/story/goo-and-you/ |
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Post by GeekGoddess on Dec 9, 2016 10:01:14 GMT -5
baza - I'm not sure if the butterfly remembers their caterpillar stage? When I read your comment, I thought "really?" It feels like I haven't changed sometimes, & at other times, the SM geekgoddess feels like that was a bad dream. Same with my sobriety journey - others see things I don't notice & when they point it out, I feel surprised & it takes a minute to see what they mean. I'm so grateful to EP & this forum for helping me grow into me. They do remember it. I think you'll find this story relevant: www.radiolab.org/story/goo-and-you/Omg. I cried 2 or 3 times at this & strongly recommend everyone still stuck listen to it. During the phase of deciding & exit plan planning-- we are growing the future-self pieces that will come through the goo. I love that, cagedtiger. And I think I'll never be the same after listening as I was before hearing this. Thank you! |
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