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Post by wewbwb on Nov 30, 2016 8:23:52 GMT -5
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Post by LITW on Nov 30, 2016 14:20:03 GMT -5
This article is spot on. Thanks for sharing.
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Post by becca on Nov 30, 2016 15:00:01 GMT -5
I enjoyed the article too. But I still think communication is the linchpin that holds it all together. When issues like ego, shame, loneliness, kids and the others she mentioned surface, clearly communicating with one another about them and cooperating with one another is key to a healthy relationship.
The one about ego, in particular, hit home for me. Thanks for sharing.
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Post by wewbwb on Nov 30, 2016 15:17:13 GMT -5
Interestingly - His statement at the end,
"As a therapist, I can teach a couple how to communicate in an hour. It’s not complicated. But dealing with the troublemakers who started the fight? Well, that takes a lifetime."
made me stop and think, "How many of these fights did I start do to MY ego, shame and loneliness?"
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Post by becca on Nov 30, 2016 15:52:21 GMT -5
There's always plenty of blame to go around. Don't beat yourself up over it, wewbwb. |
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Post by wewbwb on Nov 30, 2016 15:55:11 GMT -5
There's always plenty of blame to go around. Don't beat yourself up over it, wewbwb . It's my "go to" move.  |
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Post by solodriver on Dec 1, 2016 0:59:45 GMT -5
"Marriage is intended to be a place where two humans share the experience of loneliness and, in the sharing, create moments in which the loneliness dissipates. For a little while."
This is what my wife would use to defend herself that sex comes to an end at some point in a marriage.
IT ONLY ENDS WHEN ONE REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDHE THE WANTS, NEEDS AND DESIRES OF THE OTHER PARTNER.
Sex never has to and shouldn't end in a long term marriage. If it does, I say BS! |
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Post by beachguy on Dec 1, 2016 13:41:39 GMT -5
"Marriage is intended to be a place where two humans share the experience of loneliness and, in the sharing, create moments in which the loneliness dissipates. For a little while."
This is what my wife would use to defend herself that sex comes to an end at some point in a marriage.
IT ONLY ENDS WHEN ONE REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDHE THE WANTS, NEEDS AND DESIRES OF THE OTHER PARTNER.
Sex never has to and shouldn't end in a long term marriage. If it does, I say BS! Sex doesn't have to end and she's missing out! I agree, its BS. The BS spouted by our refusers is simply breathtaking. But Stalin was right... A lie, repeated often enough will eventually be believed by most people. The other people aren't here. They're divorced and into or searching for a happier life. |
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Post by beachguy on Dec 1, 2016 17:54:40 GMT -5
"Marriage is intended to be a place where two humans share the experience of loneliness and, in the sharing, create moments in which the loneliness dissipates. For a little while."
This is what my wife would use to defend herself that sex comes to an end at some point in a marriage.
IT ONLY ENDS WHEN ONE REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDHE THE WANTS, NEEDS AND DESIRES OF THE OTHER PARTNER.
Sex never has to and shouldn't end in a long term marriage. If it does, I say BS! "This is what my wife would use to defend herself that sex comes to an end at some point in a marriage." My response would have to be... "That's your position. My position is that marriage ends when the sex ends" |
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