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Post by Chatter Fox on Nov 29, 2016 11:03:40 GMT -5
Ever hear of enneagram personality types? It's similar to Myers Briggs personality typing to a slight degree. It categorizes you into one of nine types, numbered 1 through 9. I just started reading a book about this concept and I believe I'm a type 9. It was eerily accurate and it explained a ton of the reasons I have allowed myself to accept a SM. So far, digging into this has been extremely enlightening. So I figured I'd share in case others are interested. I have a feeling that certain types are going to be more likely to be in a SM and I believe certain types may be of higher risk of being refusers. Just a theory so far. Anyway, here's a free test. www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/dotest.phpI added a poll. Feel free to share your type if you'd like. I set up the poll so you can vote for as many types as you'd like. That way, if you are on the fence about your type, you can just pick the ones that seem to fit. |
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Post by Lithium92 on Nov 29, 2016 11:40:15 GMT -5
I'm glad you're finding it useful. Doesn't look like it's actually based on more than 'woo' though.
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Post by Chatter Fox on Nov 29, 2016 12:25:29 GMT -5
I'm glad you're finding it useful. Doesn't look like it's actually based on more than 'woo' though. What the heck is 'woo'? XD |
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Post by Lithium92 on Nov 29, 2016 12:38:34 GMT -5
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Post by Rhapsodee on Nov 29, 2016 13:09:19 GMT -5
9w1
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Post by Chatter Fox on Nov 29, 2016 13:14:18 GMT -5
Interesting. I never heard that term before. I learned something new. It is a bit woo for sure. I am curious about how much scientific research this has ever received. |
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Post by bballgirl on Nov 29, 2016 13:29:44 GMT -5
I really enjoy personality tests. I was a 2 - it was dead on for me! www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/type2.phpWhat's interesting to me is: The last paragraph stated a lot of 9's can be mistyped as 2's but the difference is that 2's have more self confidence and 9's are more humble and less confident. I think if I took this test 4 or 5 years ago maybe even earlier this same year, I would have been a 9 for sure but with outsourcing, divorcing, joining dating apps, going on a few dates, having time to myself to grow, I have become a 2. Here's an example that the old me a 9, would have not had the confidence for: I met a new man on a dating app. We decided to meet at Starbucks Sunday night for a coffee, to meet and to talk, (I told him this is a meeting not a date). We sat and talked for 2 and a half hours we were sitting outside on the patio by ourselves the last hour. Great conversation, humor, honesty, etc. I asked him if there's anything else he wants to ask me. He said "there is but do you know how when you haven't done something for so long you don't know how to go about doing it?" I said "I understand - I'll ask you something and if the answer is No that's perfectly fine it won't hurt my feelings at all, Do you want to kiss me?" He said "Yes" - I said "so come here and kiss me". Type 2 - The Helper, yep that's me but the old me would have never had the confidence to be that forward. After the kiss he asked when he can take me out on a date since this is a meeting. So where we may be one type I think we can transform into another type. |
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Post by novembercomingfire on Nov 29, 2016 13:44:26 GMT -5
5w6
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Post by Chatter Fox on Nov 29, 2016 13:55:49 GMT -5
I really enjoy personality tests. I was a 2 - it was dead on for me! www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/type2.phpWhat's interesting to me is: The last paragraph stated a lot of 9's can be mistyped as 2's but the difference is that 2's have more self confidence and 9's are more humble and less confident. I actually just finished the chapter in my book that is all about 2s. I can definitely see how they are similar to 9s. Like I mentioned, I'm definitely a 9 but I saw a slight bit myself in the 2 chapter as well. For me, it seems as though both 9s and 2s are self sacrificing but for different reasons. Wow, very interesting! Just like with the Myers Briggs thing, I bet the vast majority of people are a bit of a mix of a couple different types. |
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Post by bballgirl on Nov 29, 2016 14:10:53 GMT -5
I really enjoy personality tests. I was a 2 - it was dead on for me! www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/type2.phpWhat's interesting to me is: The last paragraph stated a lot of 9's can be mistyped as 2's but the difference is that 2's have more self confidence and 9's are more humble and less confident. I actually just finished the chapter in my book that is all about 2s. I can definitely see how they are similar to 9s. Like I mentioned, I'm definitely a 9 but I saw a slight bit myself in the 2 chapter as well. For me, it seems as though both 9s and 2s are self sacrificing but for different reasons. Wow, very interesting! Just like with the Myers Briggs thing, I bet the vast majority of people are a bit of a mix of a couple different types. Thanks for sharing this. I plan to study it more to learn more about myself. I agree with you that people can be a mix with Myers Briggs. I saw that too that the 9's and 2's are very self sacrificing, getting a divorce and having shared custody has allowed me to focus on myself this past year when my kids are with their dad and to not feel guilty about it either. I can honestly say that this past year has been one of the happiest for me overall. Also the self sacrificing mentality I think keeps us in a bad marriage. I think a lot of us have similar aspects to our personalities. It will be interesting to see how many 2's and 9's there are. |
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Post by Lithium92 on Nov 29, 2016 14:21:02 GMT -5
Interesting. I never heard that term before. I learned something new. It is a bit woo for sure. I am curious about how much scientific research this has ever received. None. skepdic.com/enneagr.html |
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Post by becca on Nov 29, 2016 14:22:02 GMT -5
I am a 9w8. So I suppose that means I am a peacemaker AND a challenger. Weird dichotomy. I suspect as I move forward with my life I will shift to a 2 as well bballgirl. This was fun Chatter Fox. Thanks! |
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Post by warmways on Nov 29, 2016 14:24:01 GMT -5
I was a 2w1
That was fun, thanks
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Post by bballgirl on Nov 29, 2016 14:34:59 GMT -5
I am a 9w8. So I suppose that means I am a peacemaker AND a challenger. Weird dichotomy. I suspect as I move forward with my life I will shift to a 2 as well bballgirl. This was fun Chatter Fox. Thanks! You will shift because you will continue to grow. I think a big part of the problem other celibacy was I was growing and changing and the ex wasn't at least not in a good way to improve himself. My personality has changed. I'm still kind but now I know that I can't sacrifice myself for someone else's happiness. The old me would have subjected myself to a situation I really didn't want to be in. An example: Went out with a very nice man earlier this month. I tried to give it a chance to be attracted to him but I wasn't. Last Tuesday I sent him a Desr John text saying I don't feel a romantic connection and I don't want to date. He calls me, I don't answer, he texts me I answer very sporadically. Today he sent a text again asking if I'm free the weekend of Dec 10th. I haven't responded and I'm booked the rest of the month mostly with family and friends with the holidays. I'll let him know then in January if he's still contacting me I will say that I met someone whether it's true or not. I'm done with self sacrifice - never again! Except my kids that's different. |
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Post by Chatter Fox on Nov 29, 2016 14:35:11 GMT -5
I actually just finished the chapter in my book that is all about 2s. I can definitely see how they are similar to 9s. Like I mentioned, I'm definitely a 9 but I saw a slight bit myself in the 2 chapter as well. For me, it seems as though both 9s and 2s are self sacrificing but for different reasons. Wow, very interesting! Just like with the Myers Briggs thing, I bet the vast majority of people are a bit of a mix of a couple different types. Thanks for sharing this. I plan to study it more to learn more about myself. I agree with you that people can be a mix with Myers Briggs. I saw that too that the 9's and 2's are very self sacrificing, getting a divorce and having shared custody has allowed me to focus on myself this past year when my kids are with their dad and to not feel guilty about it either. I can honestly say that this past year has been one of the happiest for me overall. Also the self sacrificing mentality I think keeps us in a bad marriage. I think a lot of us have similar aspects to our personalities. It will be interesting to see how many 2's and 9's there are. You're welcome! In case you're interested, the book I'm reading is called "The road back to you, An enneagram journey to self-discovery" by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabil. It's a pretty easy read so far. I highly recommend it! It has a slight religious slant to it, which almost caused me to not buy it, but I'm glad I didn't allow that to stop me. It's very much about enneagram and only adds a religious perspective on rare occasion. The really great part about the book is that is shows both the good and bad parts of having each enneagram. It can be a bit painful to read if some of the more negative aspects of a given type are news to you. Lucky for me, all the negatives of 9's and 2's that I posess are regular points of conversation in my therapy sessions and have been for quite a long time. So, I've been through the wringer already in regards to these things. So, for example, when the author pointed out that 9's are very much conflict avoidant, I just kind of smirked to myself and said "guilty as charged!". lol. My sensitive self would have taken things like that as very harsh criticism about 2 years ago but now that I have accepted a lot of these less-than-stellar parts of myself as a "work in progress", it doesn't bother me as much. The author really shed some light on the REASONS I have these negative aspects though. That has helped a ton in giving me some clarity. The book has given me an inkling as to WHY I am conflict avoidant. I plan to bring my "ah-ha" moments from the book to my therapist the next time I see her. The book is interesting too because it doesn't attempt to change you into a different type. It just helps you become the most well balance version of that type that you can be. It helps you pinpoint your weaknesses so you can work on them while pointing out your strengths in the process. But anyway, I got on a bit of a tangent. I agree with you about wondering how many 9's and 2's we'll see in the poll. I personally expect to see a lot. That's great that you have been able to focus on yourself. It's so important for those of us that tend to spend way too much time focusing on making everyone else happy while neglecting our own needs. I think we're magnets for needy / selfish people. My hope is that learning how to find a way to keep relationships more balanced will repulse people like that in the future. The most painful part is realizing that I do it to myself by inviting and accepting mistreatment (in my case as a 9, in order to keep the peace at any cost). |
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