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Post by ggold on Nov 25, 2016 13:38:44 GMT -5
I was actually in a pretty good mood most of yesterday. I was happy. I tried to focus on the true blessings of my family and friends. I only had two glasses of wine. I was in control. I could see, though, that as the day went on my husband didn't look happy. I am sure in his mind he was wondering what next Thanksgiving will look like. I tried to push that thought to the back of my mind. Might this have been the last Thanksgiving we share as a married couple? Maybe. Even if we are not married at this time next year, we could still celebrate Thanksgiving together. It doesn't mean that we HAVE to split the kids on holidays just yet. I so feel in my heart that we can be friends and work out an arrangement that works best for us. IDK.
We both have yet to fill out the parenting questionnaire that we need for our next mediation session next week. We are both avoiding this. My heart is so heavy. I KNOW this divorce is the key to my happiness. I will get through this process step by step BUT IT'S SO FUCKING HARD!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to need a LOT of support this holiday season.....just saying!! xoxo
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Post by solodriver on Nov 25, 2016 14:01:04 GMT -5
Hi GGold, I support you and am sending you hugs and best wishes as you go trough this very difficult time. That's what we are here for - to care and support each other.
As hard as it is, also try to think about what your life could/might be like down the road past this time. The thought that you could be with someone who wants to be with you and share those things you so desperately want and need that we don't have or get from our refusing roommates is something we all cherish and hope for, but the only way it could happen is if we move off this place we're at right now. I've at least learned this much from the support and care I have received here.
Sent with Warm Hugs xxxxxxxxxxx SD  |
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Post by greatcoastal on Nov 25, 2016 14:16:41 GMT -5
Hello friend! My first mediation is coming up Dec. 2nd (unless the STBX postpones it again) We can compare notes. I too do not look forward to deciding who gets the children, when.
Regret seeps into my mind at times, doubt, fear, guilt, but I will press on, towards a better future for everyone. There's a lot of time on my hands during this long process.
I too had thoughts of "this is our last Thanksgiving together." I watched her take control, I stared at the wall as she did things her way. The family stays pretty silent when we are all around each other. Knowing mom and dad have zero communication.
Side note: First time the STBX did all the cooking, that I can remember, (we either visited relatives, ate out or served the homeless). Had my STBX asked, "how is it?" she would have gotten many compliments. Instead we all listened to her brag about how great everything turned out, again, and again. Not much to say after that, we just listened. Reminds me of my MIL.
I want to be open minded about the remaining friends part. Much will depend on the level of respect, and how much the manipulation continues when she is forced to communicate.
Aiming towards a happy, better, future!
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