Post by unmatched on Apr 18, 2016 19:16:50 GMT -5
I am not sure what category this belongs in, so I just stuck it in here. My W has said a couple of things recently that have made me think. A few weeks ago we were talking about divorce (sort of theoretically) and she said she couldn't see being friends if we split up. She thought if I wanted to be friends that must mean I wouldn't be upset enough and didn't care about her as much as she did about me. Then last night we were talking about needing to fly somewhere separately, and she said if our plane crashed and me and my son died she would much rather have died at the same time. (Not all our conversations are this morbid!) I said 'No way! It would be horrible and you would be in pain for a long time, but this is the whole of the rest of your life.' Again, her take was that I obviously didn't care as much as she did.
I think life throws big changes at you all the time. People die, people change, people move on, and part of life is trying to deal with all that and still keep your heart open to what is there in front of you, and keep being willing to love the people you love. I am not going to stop loving her if we get divorced. I am not going to stop loving her if she dies. But neither am I going to shut down and refuse to live the rest of my life. Then again, maybe I am just fundamentally narcissistic and in denial.
I think life throws big changes at you all the time. People die, people change, people move on, and part of life is trying to deal with all that and still keep your heart open to what is there in front of you, and keep being willing to love the people you love. I am not going to stop loving her if we get divorced. I am not going to stop loving her if she dies. But neither am I going to shut down and refuse to live the rest of my life. Then again, maybe I am just fundamentally narcissistic and in denial.
