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Post by bballgirl on Dec 3, 2016 11:41:48 GMT -5
Sorry, but I was gagging. "how to be a masochistic enabler" would have been a good title for that 'poetic' piece. Yes, it sounds so nice and romantic and all, "love her harder". But it's about a person who plays you, who abuses you, emotionally, who takes liberties of acting out without giving any sustenance back. It is a receipe for having your soul ripped out, put through the blender and finally flushed down the toilet (see, I can be poetic, too). I would not go near that Karen Writer, because she lives in the valley that I'm desperately wanting to climb out of. Well I have, kinda. When my hell and back woman acts out, I don't love her harder. I smile and do not play but stay on my own course, these days. It's a lot healthier for me. But I still miss the succour that I was promised. well put- masochistic enabler... I think I am that at times. I use the excuse that she is my wife and I love her. SaveHe was my husband. I loved him. I still do. I'm just not in love with him and that was his doing. I deserved better than the life he was giving me. So I left now I'm happier. It's still sad to me at times though.
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Post by obobfla on Dec 3, 2016 22:05:13 GMT -5
I have actually lived that article. In regards to loving someone who is mentally ill, I can see the author's point. My wife can be very self-absorbed, and I have to sometimes sit there and take it - to a degree. If I am hurt by her actions or lack of actions, I let her know. By sharing my struggles, I help her fight hers.
My wife is sick, but that does not excuse her thoughtlessness. I have used this analogy to illustrate it: It's not someone's fault when someone has a cold. But it is the responsibility of that person to wipe his or her nose and not cough on others. The same applies to mental illness.
I think Lucinda Williams says it better. I can't change my wife, so I let her alone. At least she understands that I need my time away from her.
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