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Post by JMX on Apr 16, 2016 23:59:51 GMT -5
I wish I was past it, but I am not.
Why doesn't he love me? I am totes lovable!
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mathdoll
Junior Member
The light is getting brighter........
Posts: 88 
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Post by mathdoll on Apr 17, 2016 2:51:41 GMT -5
Is this a general query about sexless relationships or do you have anyone in mind?
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Post by bballgirl on Apr 17, 2016 4:47:16 GMT -5
It's because the problem is with him.
He is not capable of it.
This is just speculation, I don't know him so
I don't know for sure.
I have often had those same thoughts about
my ex. We all know the "why" could drive
you crazy and it's not worth it.
My ex is intimacy averse, avoidant, selfish, irresponsible.
Some people are not capable of loving us the
way we need to be loved. It's just incompatibility and it's better to cut our loses sooner than later.
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mathdoll
Junior Member
The light is getting brighter........
Posts: 88
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Post by mathdoll on Apr 17, 2016 6:02:04 GMT -5
Yes. Trying to answer the question 'why' is a fast way into the rabbit hole. Sometimes you just have to deal with the observable behaviour and leave the psychology to their therapist or interested amateurs with nothing to lose. LOL
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Post by unmatched on Apr 17, 2016 8:33:01 GMT -5
Totally agree with bballgirl. Why would you think this has anything to do with you? Picture him with somebody else and see if you can seriously imagine the relationship being very different.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2016 9:05:52 GMT -5
I wish I was past it, but I am not. Why doesn't he love me? I am totes lovable! Only he knows the answer to that question, and maybe even he doesn't. If there's a voice in your head suggesting it's your fault that he doesn't love you and that your marriage failed ("if you had only let him have his way that one time"), well that's just the effects of all the rejection and the whatifs and ifonlys. |
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Post by JMX on Apr 17, 2016 9:15:32 GMT -5
Lord. I had too many vodka sodas last night and the diet did not help me process the alcohol very well.
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Post by JMX on Apr 17, 2016 9:16:51 GMT -5
I was also very horny and lonely last night.
Now sober with a headache, still horny and need a hug.
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Post by unmatched on Apr 17, 2016 9:22:16 GMT -5
I was also very horny and lonely last night. Now sober with a headache, still horny and need a hug. Hugs  (If there was a vibrator emoticon I would send you one of those too, but I can't find one on the list) |
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 17, 2016 9:24:31 GMT -5
I was also very horny and lonely last night. Now sober with a headache, still horny and need a hug. Virtual hugs to you, you smart, pretty, strong and lovable gal! |
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Post by JMX on Apr 17, 2016 9:25:01 GMT -5
I was also very horny and lonely last night. Now sober with a headache, still horny and need a hug. Hugs (If there was a vibrator emoticon I would send you one of those too, but I can't find one on the list) I wish a vibrator would do the trick. I have an amazing one that I am beginning to grow tired of. It has been since December since we last had sex. About the same amount of time without a hug or an "I love you" and I am just very, very sad. May need a FWB. |
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Post by JMX on Apr 17, 2016 9:26:14 GMT -5
I was also very horny and lonely last night. Now sober with a headache, still horny and need a hug. Virtual hugs to you, you smart, pretty, strong and lovable gal! Thank you. My heart is aching this morning and that was nice to hear. |
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 17, 2016 9:49:26 GMT -5
I mean it too.
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Post by bballgirl on Apr 17, 2016 10:09:05 GMT -5
I was also very horny and lonely last night. Now sober with a headache, still horny and need a hug. Big hug for you honey!!! |
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mathdoll
Junior Member
The light is getting brighter........
Posts: 88
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Post by mathdoll on Apr 17, 2016 10:17:54 GMT -5
That craving for physical affection - let alone intimacy - sucks. I used to go for a full body massage when it got really bad and sometimes a foot massage or head massage helps. I don't know if you know the sitcom Frasier (one of my favourites).
The two male leads (brothers) both go through dry patches and in one episode Niles talked about how you can tell the level of sexual frustration someone is experiencing by how often they head to get their nails done. “Manicurists, pedicurists, facialists. When you see a man who’s well-groomed, you can bet he’s not getting any.”
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