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Post by Deleted on Apr 16, 2016 15:54:20 GMT -5
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Post by JMX on Apr 16, 2016 19:00:11 GMT -5
I totes posted this on FB the other day  |
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Post by TMD on Apr 16, 2016 21:04:14 GMT -5
How do we raise children to *grow up,* move out and become contributing members of society if we spoil them, if we don't give them responsibilities?
My eldest has a paper route. She did a crap job the other day when it was windy and she didn't put the papers in mailboxes. I was peeved. Made her fix the problem and told her in a "real" job she'd be fired or not eligible for a raise. She was also given a choice of consequences, and chose to go around the neighbourhood with me to do some spring clean up.
She was not happy, but not as unhappy as I was. Sigh. It's a FT job holding my kids responsible. But I'd rather do it now then when they are supposed to be adults and they think I'm supposed to bail them out.
No thank you.
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 16, 2016 21:25:37 GMT -5
Awesome article, and spot-on!
Struggling through life is what gives us street smarts. Critical thinking. Practical problem-solving. Common sense (which, sadly, isn't so common). Trying hard and failing anyway, because life isn't fair. (Not unlike how all those childhood colds make us more resilient to the real-world.)
I remember summers in junior high, being gone all afternoon with Mom only having a vague idea that I had biked a couple miles to a fishing hole, or exploring the creek. Had she actually needed to find me, it would've been tough without a good hog call. Had I managed to get snakebit (a real possibility), my odds of making it to a hospital would have been low.
We were definitely softer on our kids than we should have been when it came to chores, and they will be left to struggle with some life skills on their own. At the same time, I was a hard-ass about hand-outs - whether we had the money was irrelevant.
When they got their licenses, they did get access to a vehicle - a 30-year-old, stick-shift, mini pickup with 2x40 air (2 windows, 40MPH). Enough to get them mobile, but no frills. Want something better? Buy it yourself. And they did.
One thing I struggled to balance was money philosophy. On one hand, training them to be money-smart and frugal. On the other hand, not constraining their thinking with a mindset that "we can't afford that" or "that would never be possible". Teaching them to dream big without spending foolishly is a tough balance. Time will tell if it succeeded.
DC
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 16, 2016 21:40:55 GMT -5
How do we raise children to *grow up,* move out and become contributing members of society if we spoil them, if we don't give them responsibilities? [...] It's a FT job holding my kids responsible. But I'd rather do it now then when they are supposed to be adults and they think I'm supposed to bail them out. Hell, yes! Paper routes are a valuable lesson in hard work and poor pay. Unfortunately, they've been overtaken by companies here. I remember many days getting up early when I really didn't want to, folding papers in the apartment complex's laundry room because it was stinking cold outside, making rounds for collections, and discovering my partner and I had blown all our profits by buying too many plastic sacks for rainy days. Yes, when life is too comfy at home, why on Earth would they feel like moving out? I'm on the cusp of charging my oldest one rent, balanced only by the fact that I want him to stick to school and finish a degree. And, yes, it is a freaking full-time job holding kids accountable. Which is why so many parents slack off. (And, frankly, kids used to have a healthy fear of their parents, which translated to a lot less supervision being required. Political correctness has killed that.) |
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Post by Dan on Apr 17, 2016 6:43:35 GMT -5
I read the article. I agree with the premise, but was not overly impressed with the article itself.
I found it basically in the genre of "personal reflection", or something I'd hear from a "life coach". I guess I was expecting actual "journalism": something that includes research and facts. You know, something written by a reporter.
Oh, and for what it is worth, I find the photo used in the Huff Post article to be very odd, if not antithetical to the article. (Yeah, I know it is likely just a stupid stock photo, and the article's author may not have picked it.) It depicts a young white girl and a young black boy using a very thick/heavy rope to tie a mom to her wingback chair while she reads. To my mind, this demonstrates that the children had the precociousness to find the rope, heave it in from the garage or shed, imagine something fun to do with it. It shows them using their creative and physical sides, and that they are capable of interacting with each other WITHOUT a game console in the vicinity. It also demonstrates that the woman is not uptight about their shenanigans, and can even salvage some time for herself (reading) despite the chaos. I also get the vibe that the parents of both kids value interracial friendships. That all seems to depict GOOD PARENTING if you ask me!!!
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 17, 2016 14:57:57 GMT -5
Today's kids aren't leaving the nest till there 22! Much of the blame falls on, government regulations, and insurance, ( I'll skip the details) today's generation is addicted to computer games, and getting peer pressure through online media. Then comes the arguments in the marriage over " old fashioned ways of doing things"! I feel bad about my children's future, jobs, finance, marriage, morals, values, politics, etc.....
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