Is it helpful

I like the folks here.

My marriage has begun to improve and I think it will continue. I still come on here because I want to reciprocate the kindness that was shown to me. It was this forum that helped me move forward and gave me an outlet to tell someone. I hope that I can return the favor to others. My heart breaks for people suffering in a SM. If I can encourage them or help them then I lived a better life. It's not going to be about our possessions at the end our life we think about, it'll be the relationships with people that we've known.

I've not been on here long but I enjoy reading the posts. I've noticed that this forum has many intelligent people. There is much too learn and many life experiences that people have lived. A part of me like Baz enjoys the learning aspect. Self improvement is daily endeavor.

I love a post that ends with "So there"
 
Thank you.

My "so there"'s HAVE to be followed up with sticking out the tongue, and swirling around to flounce off ensuring the hair flips around dramatically with me. Proper!

It's tradition innit.

Haven't done a so there in years. I can feel one coming on!

That would be more of a "Go there"

I'll be honest that many of these posts grieve me. I feel such sadness as I read them, and I ask myself why I come here? Isn't it time to leave this behind now that I'm out of the marriage? Well, yes and no.

I don't participate here like I did on EP (Experience Project) because the marriage is now in the past, and I do like to live in the present. However, that's only half of it. There are consequences to having these SM experiences, and some of us are still dealing with those consequences...mentally and emotionally. In fact, some of us who endured for decades, and grew old before we got out, are still alone and without intimacy, touch, and affection, and that's something else to deal with.

There are no people on earth, other than those who have gone through this, can understand what it's like. There was no Internet when all this started for me. No support groups I knew of, and I carried a great shame (as well as the pain of rejection) without confiding in anyone for years. It was a terrible burden to carry alone because how humiliating to tell someone that your husband doesn't want sex with you. I'd never heard of it back then. It was 20-years before I found this group, and realized I was not the only one.

Now that I'm free, I still won't share this part of my life with anyone because they can't understand if they haven't been through it, not like the people in this group can understand. It still hurts. The loss of 25-years of my life, my home, my dog, my financial security, my looks, my youth. I don't dwell on it, but I feel it.

So this is why I still come back...this and to help give support when I can to others. I also like to know how other members are doing after they are out. I've never dated since being free again...I can't face it, plus no one has asked me...so I'm interested in the post SM experience that others have and how its going for them.

We learn from each other, even after we have left. It doesn't end when you leave, that's just the beginning of recovery and healing. Another phase to go through that can last a long time.