"It's time for me to say my goodbyes"
Apr 15, 2016 10:08:38 GMT -5
JMX, GeekGoddess, and 15 more like this
Post by Dan on Apr 15, 2016 10:08:38 GMT -5
EP user "SoDone1492" gave me the OK to repost her excellent final post on EP to here.
(When she refers to "this site", she is referring to Experience Project.)
Author: Experience Project user "SoDone1492"
Date: April 2, 2016
Original URL: www.experienceproject.com/stories/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/7758545
It's time for me to say my goodbyes. My divorce is final...I'm happy. I don't think it's healthy to live in the past. I've learned a lot in my years on this site. To those who might be reading our stories in the future I offer this advice...
1. Don't let anyone bitch-slap you into leaving your marriage before you're ready. At the same time, don't stay because you're afraid to start over. You get one life. Live it.
2. You get to choose whether to stay in your marriage or leave. You're not trapped by kids or finances. Easy to do? No. Worth it? For me it was.
3. Obviously, leaving your marriage is preferable to having affairs but the timing has to be right. But if you're in a marriage that is 100% sexless for a long period of time, you have the right to have your sexual needs met outside your marriage. Don't feel guilty about it. Have a plan in case you get caught and leave the marriage as soon as you are able.
4. Don't be afraid to turn to your family and friends for support. They will be more understanding and empathic than you may think.
5. Make a better choice next time. Many of us had a feeling that something wasn't quite right before the wedding. Follow those instincts in the future.
6. Know that there is absolutely nothing you can or could have done to change your marriage. You can't make a non-sexual person sexual, and you can't make someone want you. Find someone who does.
My sexless journey is complete. 16 years with no sex with my husband. 9 years celibate. 3 affairs. Now divorced. I've been seeing my 3rd affair partner for over 2 1/2 years now...his marriage has been celibate for 11 years and he's making plans to leave his wife. Will he? Who knows. I'll be fine with or without him.
I'll miss this site, although not the trolls or dic* picks. These pics should be sent by invitation only, guys. I wish you all the very, very best. I'm grateful for your e-friendships and grateful to the developers of this site.
xo
(When she refers to "this site", she is referring to Experience Project.)
Author: Experience Project user "SoDone1492"
Date: April 2, 2016
Original URL: www.experienceproject.com/stories/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/7758545
It's time for me to say my goodbyes. My divorce is final...I'm happy. I don't think it's healthy to live in the past. I've learned a lot in my years on this site. To those who might be reading our stories in the future I offer this advice...
1. Don't let anyone bitch-slap you into leaving your marriage before you're ready. At the same time, don't stay because you're afraid to start over. You get one life. Live it.
2. You get to choose whether to stay in your marriage or leave. You're not trapped by kids or finances. Easy to do? No. Worth it? For me it was.
3. Obviously, leaving your marriage is preferable to having affairs but the timing has to be right. But if you're in a marriage that is 100% sexless for a long period of time, you have the right to have your sexual needs met outside your marriage. Don't feel guilty about it. Have a plan in case you get caught and leave the marriage as soon as you are able.
4. Don't be afraid to turn to your family and friends for support. They will be more understanding and empathic than you may think.
5. Make a better choice next time. Many of us had a feeling that something wasn't quite right before the wedding. Follow those instincts in the future.
6. Know that there is absolutely nothing you can or could have done to change your marriage. You can't make a non-sexual person sexual, and you can't make someone want you. Find someone who does.
My sexless journey is complete. 16 years with no sex with my husband. 9 years celibate. 3 affairs. Now divorced. I've been seeing my 3rd affair partner for over 2 1/2 years now...his marriage has been celibate for 11 years and he's making plans to leave his wife. Will he? Who knows. I'll be fine with or without him.
I'll miss this site, although not the trolls or dic* picks. These pics should be sent by invitation only, guys. I wish you all the very, very best. I'm grateful for your e-friendships and grateful to the developers of this site.
xo
