We are going to mediation on Thursday

Big vibes g. Don't analyze anymore. Strategize. It's done, and everything he says to you from this point on is bullshit. You don't have any secrets. Anything you may or may not have done was in the context of being abandoned in your marriage. He's the one who should be ashamed.

You've made your decision and all the guilt trips and sanctimonious little hints about your faults are just dead leaves blowing in the breeze.

{{{{g}}}}

If his marriage is falling apart and the best he can offer is 'he put other things in life before you' then he has a fair way to go in his therapy process! As for 'he would do anything not to divorce you', that is clearly bollocks since his version of 'doing anything' seems to consist mostly of sitting on the sofa and texting other women to bolster his self esteem.

But I am really happy for you that you have got him to mediation. I think it could be a big step for both of you. Hopefully you can actually start talking about the practicalities and start leaving all the guilt trips and mind games behind you. Good luck!!!

In every story I've read where an intimacy averse spouse says they will do anything to save the marriage, they do nothing to save the marriage. Saying this is a form of sobbing and begging and accordingly should be ignored. He's had more than enough time to get his act together.

He has gotten religion, so he pretends, now that Judgment Day has come. Which means that if he is jotted into the Book of Life at the last minute and spared from the Lake of Fire, he will truly change and become the model intimacy craving husband, out of true repentance and the indwelling and illumination of the Paracletus Eroticus.

Uh huh.

Once the storm blows over, it's back to business as usual. Oh wait, he hasn't changed anyway.

So this whole rant of mine is imbued with only one purpose, to delay getting out of bed and going to work.

And to give g many more vibrators.

Sorry, autocorrect.

And I saw an angel come down from heaven, having the key of the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand. And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years, and cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal upon him, that he should deceive the nations no more, till the thousand years should be fulfilled: and after that he must be loosed a little season.

And I saw thrones, and they sat upon them, and judgment was given unto them: and I saw the souls of them that were beheaded for the witness of Jesus, and for the word of God, and which had not worshipped the beast, neither his image, neither had received his mark upon their foreheads, or in their hands; and they lived and reigned with Christ a thousand oyears. But the rest of the dead lived not again until the thousand years were finished. This is the first resurrection. Blessed and holy is he that hath part in the first resurrection: on such the second death hath no power, but they shall be priests of God and of Christ, and shall reign with him a thousand years.

And when the thousand years are expired, Satan shall be loosed out of his prison, and shall go out to deceive the nations which are in the four quarters of the earth, Gog, and Magog, to gather them together to battle: the number of whom is as the sand of the sea. And they went up on the breadth of the earth, and compassed the camp of the saints about, and the beloved city: and fire came down from God out of heaven, and devoured them.

And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever. And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away; and there was found no place for them. And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.

And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

The dead will be judged by their works. So will the living.

Good luck on Thursday and good vibes and positive energy coming your way! Don't feel guilty just stay true to yourself and what you want for your life! Life goes on and everything works out and becomes the new norm.
Hugs xoxo

Good luck!

Good luck!! You have reason to be angry when he now has decided that he needs to do something after all this time of him ignoring everything. You've waited long enough for him to come around.