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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2016 16:44:03 GMT -5
Archer and Deadpool are awesome!
Kids weren't part of the problem for me, but I'm enjoying the freedom not to have the TV on at all if I don't want to. I don't watch nearly as much as my ex did.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2016 17:06:39 GMT -5
Archer and Deadpool are awesome! Kids weren't part of the problem for me, but I'm enjoying the freedom not to have the TV on at all if I don't want to. I don't watch nearly as much as my ex did. When I moved out, one of the things I could no longer afford was cable, so although I have a television, it's only used for my son to play games on or for the occasional times I want to watch Netflix (for example, five episodes in a row of "Archer"). Last night was only the second time in two weeks that I've used the television at all and I LOVE not having it on all the time. It's only been two weeks, but I really don't miss watching TV at all. My STBX had the TV on all the time and it's a relief not to have that constant noise playing in the background. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2016 17:07:44 GMT -5
I didn't even bother getting cable. As little as I watch, it's not worth it. I got WiFi and a Netflix account. The cable companies can suck it.
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 15, 2016 18:33:21 GMT -5
I didn't even bother getting cable. As little as I watch, it's not worth it. I got WiFi and a Netflix account. The cable companies can suck it. I'm one of those "haven't had cable in decades" guys. We used to get our fill from DVD rentals, now streaming Netflix and Hulu. Even then, I'm happy when it's turned off, though I get my share of binge TV. (And in case I wasn't clear, DeadPool was excellent, just definitely not for the kiddies. ;-) |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2016 20:49:05 GMT -5
Archer and Deadpool are awesome! Kids weren't part of the problem for me, but I'm enjoying the freedom not to have the TV on at all if I don't want to. I don't watch nearly as much as my ex did. When I moved out, one of the things I could no longer afford was cable, so although I have a television, it's only used for my son to play games on or for the occasional times I want to watch Netflix (for example, five episodes in a row of "Archer"). Last night was only the second time in two weeks that I've used the television at all and I LOVE not having it on all the time. It's only been two weeks, but I really don't miss watching TV at all. My STBX had the TV on all the time and it's a relief not to have that constant noise playing in the background. Yes!!! I swear tv was like life support to my former refuser, a tv in literally every room (except mine) and if he's home, it's on. Usually loudly too, which I hated. Add an action movie and turning his surround-sound on and that was a recipe for a very unhappy me. I love my life without 24/7 tv noise. |
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Post by sleeplessknight on Aug 10, 2016 7:35:36 GMT -5
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Post by pfviento on Aug 10, 2016 9:36:16 GMT -5
I feel for any parent in this situation. I suspect many stay in bad marriages because they are not sure they can handle 50/50 custody.
These are the toughest calls to make. Hope that it works out for the best. It's good to see an amicable situation where both sides show interest and flexibility. That seems rare these days.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2016 11:16:03 GMT -5
I can't even imagine how hard this is. Hoping you will find some things to do to occupy your time. Out of curiosity, did you consider a 2/2/3 schedule, or any others? Am Not there yet. I spent some time the other day trying to figure out a schedule. My spouse flies out/in for work weekly. I would agree to 50/50, but that would mean I would never get a weekend with the kids. Instead I would get the business of school, homework, after school activities. He won't be happy when I propose the custody schedule. But I hope he knows that when he has time off, etc., I'll gladly share the time with him. And should his work become local again, I'd agree to sharing 50/50. My STBX was highly insistent on 50/50 and honestly, it's one of the few things he's insisted on that I can actually get behind because it's driven by love instead of a need to control or punish me. Even with all the hell he's putting me through right now, I firmly believe that in this one area, his heart is in the right place. I'm glad you're being careful building your schedule - you definitely need some weekends with your kids! My ex moved out when our daughter (nickname 'Buttercup') was 3. I was devastated. But having princess Buttercup full time was very therapeutic for me. After about 6 months we started talking about divorce. Two things I resented about the that period of time were 1) I felt ex requested 50/50, not because she wanted that much custody (she actually never quite got to 50%, the closest was 65%) but because she did not want to pay child support, and 2) Whenever she dropped Buttercup off at my house she was "dressed up" for her date that she was immediately going out on. She looked like a hooker most times, which trust me, was not a good look for her, and although I did not feel any love for her, it was painful because I had not yet moved on to dating yet. Enjoy the time alone you get. Do something cheerful. Don't mope around and give him the satisfaction of thinking he has moved on and you have not. Play hardball with the things you know he wants to keep, make him give you fair value in return. Best Regards |
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Post by ted on Aug 11, 2016 2:45:02 GMT -5
My estranged wife and I share the kids 50/50. For me, it's Su Tu Th one weak, Tu Th Fr Sa the next, rinse and repeat. We live 15 mins apart, so that part of trading them isn't too onerous. Although it's a lot of work trading so often, I *love* seeing the kids so regularly. The long weekends when they're away are hard. They seem to do well with the schedule. If it seemed hard on them, we'd change it.
Somehow, this feels "normal" now (after 2.5 years). That's good and sad at the same time.
The hardest part is seeing her so often during handoffs. There's no room for out of sight, out of mind. It hurts every time. (I wonder if she hurts like I do. If she does, I don't see it.)
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