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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2016 9:29:34 GMT -5
Congratulations ggold, we're all rooting for you. You gave yourself the best birthday present. Things would have continued status quo. The refusers are getting their needs met. He did not want a divorce or he would have filed papers. He was only saying that to you because he is seeing a change in you.
You deserve happiness and a loving partner. Money and my children were one of the things holding me back from changing my situation. Children pick up on things and bad marriages. I remember my son asking me if I was going to get a divorce. The word was never said in the household. Children know what's going on. What good is money when you're miserable?
Ignore your husband's sad face. How long has he ignored you and let you suffer in silence. How convenient that he gets sick on your birthday. Has he promised to make it up to you?
Sooner or later you come to the realization that the refuser does not care about you. They care about themselves only.
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 23, 2016 9:40:50 GMT -5
Congratulations ggold, we're all rooting for you. You gave yourself the best birthday present. Things would have continued status quo. The refusers are getting their needs met. He did not want a divorce or he would have filed papers. He was only saying that to you because he is seeing a change in you. You deserve happiness and a loving partner. Money and my children were one of the things holding me back from changing my situation. Children pick up on things and bad marriages. I remember my son asking me if I was going to get a divorce. The word was never said in the household. Children know what's going on. What good is money when you're miserable? Ignore your husband's sad face. How long has he ignored you and let you suffer in silence. How convenient that he gets sick on your birthday. Has he promised to make it up to you? Sooner or later you come to the realization that the refuser does not care about you. They care about themselves only. Amen to that! He got sick. So? Time for him to put on his big boy underwear. If he wants only his needs met than he can come to a quick realization that you are no longer going to be his servant. what will he do when he is single again? He would take care of himself, call a friend, relative, or neighbor. That's the kind of detachment that needs to start taking place. Communication about children and finances only. Please consider hiring an attorney and start moving funds and get a credit card,checking account, and debit card, in your name only. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 23, 2016 10:04:26 GMT -5
Yes his words stung. The truth hurts. What does that tell you about him? Let me pass my attorneys advice on to you. Do not leave the house! Sounds like he is trying to set you up for abandonment. Councilors,and therapists work with attorneys. They see them perform in court, they know the good and the bad. A good place to start for referrals. He apologized for his words. I told him I never thought he would say them to me. He said them in anger. I know I cannot fully trust him, though. Pardon me if I spill to much on this , but this really gets me. I so remember the time my wife said in counseling that my talk during our date night was "useless drivel". I brought it back up three times, using it against her every time in counseling. Only then did she backtrack and come up with, "that's not what I meant to say". No apology. Maybe it's better that way, it would have been fake. I will spare you the list of tipping point comments spewed at me during our "compromise" time of therapy. However, do I think of her as a "lazy bitch"? Yes. Do I use such words? Never. Can I give endless examples, day after day? Oh yea! Lots, and lots of emotional feelings to deal with that stay bottled up. Endless memories of her coming home from work, eating the dinner that I prepared for the nine of us, and her plopping in her recliner for the night, screen in hand, and going to bed early. Knowing that half her work day is spent on line chatting, and eating out with other employees. (you won"t hear me complaining about the paycheck she gets for it) To tie this back to you ggold, all the responsibilities of family and household chores will soon be his responsibility to fend for himself, while providing the care that the kids need and deserve from him. It's going to be a wake up call! |
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Post by iceman on Oct 23, 2016 11:04:25 GMT -5
Good luck and happy belated birthday!! It seems that you have had a bit of breakthrough. Him going to a mediator seems to possibly indicate that he is at least moving towards accepting the situation and that's a good step. You're in my thoughts.
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Post by DryCreek on Oct 23, 2016 18:49:51 GMT -5
ggold, as others have suggested, get your info first-hand. His definition of screwed is losing his status quo, half the assets, alimony, and child support. There is nothing about a divorce that improves his life, so he'll feel "screwed" regardless. Your definition of screwed... well, that's probably different. ;-) In your shoes, you're willing to sacrifice half the assets, etc. to *escape* the status quo. Nearly all outcomes might be considered a win for you, it's just a question of cost. And happy birthday!
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Post by ggold on Oct 23, 2016 19:59:06 GMT -5
Thank you so much DryCreek! You are correct! I will get my info first hand!!! |
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