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Post by Caris on Oct 22, 2016 9:49:24 GMT -5
I think too many people become confused with the word "complete." It doesn't mean that a person is "less than" by themselves, it just means that life (one's own life) feels more complete because a piece that was missing is now there. It's no different than saying "having a job I love completes my life," or "I didn't have friends, but now that I do, my life feels more complete because that part of life was missing." It's the same as being deprived of sex or affection or love...when what is missing is restored one feels a sense of relief and equilibrium.
So...when something is missing in your life (and the only one who knows what is missing is that actual individual – not outsiders looking in), and you find what is missing and it brings a sense of completeness because the loneliness, or the angst, or the stress, or sexual frustration has gone, then yes, you have found the part that was missing, and everything seems right with the world. That is a feeling of "completeness."
It's not for pop psychologists or anyone else to determine what "complete," or "happiness," or "contentment," or anything else means for another person. It's highly personal, and it rubs me the wrong way when others think they know better than you what you feel, what you may need, and what is missing in your life. They don't know. Only you know.
Also posted on SW.
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 22, 2016 12:16:43 GMT -5
I have learned that a man can NOT complete my life.
I complete my own life. I think this is an important concept for people to understand before leaving a SM because the reality is another man may not come into our lives for a relationship. I do have a feeling like my job completes me but it's still early in the school year come April - I'll be counting the days until Summer break. Anyway, I think a better way of thinking about a man, sex, children, friends - is that it enhances one's life. One's life should be complete with what they bring themselves into their life for themselves.
Another person shouldn't complete someone's life but enhance it, bring joy, pleasure, fun, laughs - that is a good thing.
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 22, 2016 13:32:06 GMT -5
Weather you believe the bible or not we all struggle with chasing idol fantasies. Ecclesiastes documents Solomon's all out pursuit of happiness in the "broken cisterns that don"t hold water"
Solomon chased wisdom and knowledge,pleasure, excessive alcohol,accomplishments,wealth,sex,and work.
What is helpful to see that as a man or woman, you are not alone. All of us struggle with this stuff. All good things can become sinful things if we make them the main things.
Solomon's conclusion: "Enjoy life,don"t worship life."
Admit the struggle.
Identify the lie.
Replace with the truth.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
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Post by greatcoastal on Oct 22, 2016 15:12:38 GMT -5
Complete? As an artist my paintings are never complete. Especially when looking back on them. I improve, learn from my mistakes, and sometimes make changes on my old existing pieces. I still don't call it complete. Yet there is a sense of joy in what I accomplished.
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Post by Caris on Oct 22, 2016 15:45:30 GMT -5
I have learned that a man can NOT complete my life. I complete my own life. I think this is an important concept for people to understand before leaving a SM because the reality is another man may not come into our lives for a relationship. I do have a feeling like my job completes me but it's still early in the school year come April - I'll be counting the days until Summer break. Anyway, I think a better way of thinking about a man, sex, children, friends - is that it enhances one's life. One's life should be complete with what they bring themselves into their life for themselves. Another person shouldn't complete someone's life but enhance it, bring joy, pleasure, fun, laughs - that is a good thing. Like I said, it's just a word. One will define it one way, and another a different way. What completes you or enhances your life (the word is just a word) is only something defined by you. No one else. I don't think you quite got what I was saying, Bbgirl. |
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Post by Caris on Oct 22, 2016 15:47:49 GMT -5
Weather you believe the bible or not we all struggle with chasing idol fantasies. Ecclesiastes documents Solomon's all out pursuit of happiness in the "broken cisterns that don"t hold water" Solomon chased wisdom and knowledge,pleasure, excessive alcohol,accomplishments,wealth,sex,and work. What is helpful to see that as a man or woman, you are not alone. All of us struggle with this stuff. All good things can become sinful things if we make them the main things. Solomon's conclusion: "Enjoy life,don"t worship life." Admit the struggle. Identify the lie. Replace with the truth. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. With due respect great coastal, my post has nothing to do with religion and sin, but take from it what speaks to you. If it's religion and sin then I respect your right to your take on what I wrote. |
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Post by jim44444 on Oct 22, 2016 17:34:47 GMT -5
Well put Caris. I do like bballgirl's use of the word ehnacements. The people and events of my life enhance it but never complete it. My life, or at least this phase of it, will be complete when I take my final breath. Then those that are left can judge it for what it was or was not. But I will not care.
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Post by baza on Oct 22, 2016 18:03:08 GMT -5
I'm with Caris on this one.
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Some people need heaps of money to "complete" themselves.
Some people need lots of friends to "complete" them.
Others need the facade of success to "complete" themselves.
Some others need someone / something to rescue to "complete" them.
Still others need someone to sponge off to "complete" themselves.
Some people need a partner to "complete" themselves.
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And I think that it is all pretty fluid, and changeable.
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What you want to "complete" you today, may well not be the same thing tomorrow.
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Personally, I am a reasonably happy bloke these days, but now as I think about it, it has really been a process of discarding negative influences in my life rather than a hot pursuit of potentially positive things in my life that has brought this about.
Further, I'd observe that I am not "complete", and nor do I ever expect to be.
"Completion" (for me) is an ongoing construction process, and it is never finished. Until you peg out.
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Post by DryCreek on Oct 23, 2016 17:54:19 GMT -5
Analogies abound...
For example, I don't "need" to live in a climate-controlled home with indoor plumbing and electricity. But it sure makes life nicer. Plenty of people survive in huts with dirt floors.
Just like I enjoy sharing experiences with someone I love. I'd still have seen that distant land or tried that amazing food, but sharing makes it far richer experience.
So, yes, "complete" implies that life is not fully lived, which is false. But life certainly is richer / bolder / more vibrant when it's shared with someone passionate.
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Post by unmatched on Oct 23, 2016 19:37:51 GMT -5
What I take from this is that nobody lives happily in a vacuum. Isolation cells are a punishment for a reason. We all need to have relationships and interactions in our lives - whether that is with other people, friends or romantic partners, with the world around us, with something we are creating or building, whatever it is that calls to you. But you need things in your life that have real meaning for you, otherwise your soul just shrivels up and dies.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2016 11:47:58 GMT -5
Analogies abound... For example, I don't "need" to live in a climate-controlled home with indoor plumbing and electricity. But it sure makes life nicer. Plenty of people survive in huts with dirt floors. Just like I enjoy sharing experiences with someone I love. I'd still have seen that distant land or tried that amazing food, but sharing makes it far richer experience. So, yes, "complete" implies that life is not fully lived, which is false. But life certainly is richer / bolder / more vibrant when it's shared with someone passionate. Best analogy ever. Yes, I *can* be on my own. I'm doing it (and have not ended up in rehab or the hospital), so obviously I *can* do it. But it's like eating nutritious but bland, dull food...the same few things over and over again. While dreaming of steak, lobster, champagne and chocolate.... |
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Post by baza on Oct 24, 2016 14:47:14 GMT -5
The "nutritious but bland, dull food" post ILIASM deal diet is probably best compared to the diet in an ILIASM deal.
There may be "steak, lobster, champagne and chocolate" still to come on the post ILIASM menu. Who knows ?
But there was no "steak, lobster, champagne and chocolate" on the ILIASM menu.
Just shit sandwiches.
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Post by beachguy on Oct 24, 2016 15:01:31 GMT -5
Any meal can be improved with salt, pepper, and hot sex for dessert!
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Post by bballgirl on Oct 24, 2016 15:08:29 GMT -5
Any meal can be improved with salt, pepper, and hot sex for dessert! That's a great part and point to the analogy. What if a person is only having dessert. That's not enough. It's not the sex alone that is important to make one's life happy. You need a good relationship with a partner that is compatible and loving. I want the steak dinner and the peach cobbler a la mode. |
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Post by beachguy on Oct 24, 2016 15:12:33 GMT -5
Any meal can be improved with salt, pepper, and hot sex for dessert! ....I want the steak dinner and the peach cobbler a la mode. Don't forget the sex  |
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