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Post by wewbwb on Oct 8, 2016 7:50:42 GMT -5
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Post by wewbwb on Oct 8, 2016 7:51:30 GMT -5
And if I make this mistake, please tell me.
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Post by Caris on Oct 8, 2016 16:52:55 GMT -5
Absolutely spot on. Having someone in your corner, listening and understanding with no judgement is life affirming and such a relief. It's like having a boulder lifted off your shoulders. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2016 2:13:09 GMT -5
I've been searching online for such a person for years with no luck. They are very hard to find for sure.
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Post by wewbwb on Oct 10, 2016 10:37:06 GMT -5
I've been searching online for such a person for years with no luck. They are very hard to find for sure. If I read your screen name correctly, you a a man named Dan, in NYC. No excuses Dan. THE City is filled with good people. Go out and met them. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2016 21:52:08 GMT -5
No I don't live in that city. I'm not even American.
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Post by GeekGoddess on Oct 10, 2016 22:26:08 GMT -5
I've been searching online for such a person for years with no luck. They are very hard to find for sure. If I read your screen name correctly, you a a man named Dan, in NYC. No excuses Dan. THE City is filled with good people. Go out and met them. I had always read it as Danny w/a lady initial C. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2016 1:59:00 GMT -5
Getting back to the point. It has been extremely difficult to find understanding and support online. And in real life I have only told one person (other than therapists) about my sexual situation, a female friend I've known for years. She knew me when I was single and having lots of sex with many different women. When I told her I hadnt had sex in over two decades she didn't believe me and thought I was making it all up in order to get "mercy sex" from her.
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Post by DryCreek on Oct 12, 2016 13:22:56 GMT -5
wewbwb, Yes, I think guys (stereotypically) respond by trying to solve the problem, when what the person really wants is someone to listen and empathize. Sometimes the right thing to do is simply stop talking and listen.
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Post by wewbwb on Oct 12, 2016 14:59:26 GMT -5
wewbwb , Yes, I think guys (stereotypically) respond by trying to solve the problem, when what the person really wants is someone to listen and empathize. Sometimes the right thing to do is simply stop talking and listen. Also part of the problem is that many people "listen" with the intent to respond. I will admit. I am a "solver" also. It is part of my identity - I "fix" cars, so it's a challenge to stop there for me at times. I think I'm getting better at it.... Maybe I need a "solver".... (I also respond well to "Shut the hell up for two minutes") Blunt usually works well with me.  |
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Post by Caris on Oct 20, 2016 18:43:14 GMT -5
I've been searching online for such a person for years with no luck. They are very hard to find for sure. If I read your screen name correctly, you a a man named Dan, in NYC. No excuses Dan. THE City is filled with good people. Go out and met them. No. It's not that simple. I'm 62-years old, so it's not like I haven't experienced life, and don't know how it is. I do. One may meet many people, but a connection is not guaranteed. In fact, it's no easy thing to find people you relate to, even those who may share common interests. There are too many variables including not only a personality, but life experiences, and issues that are born from that mix. Just go out and meet people is a pat answer with no deep understanding attached to it. It's basically saying, "it's your fault," and that is not benificial to people who've already gone through hell. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2016 19:58:02 GMT -5
If I was single again I'd go out looking but it would be just for a sexual relationship alone. But I'm sure it would be far more difficult to find a sexual partners now than it was 30 years ago.
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Post by wewbwb on Oct 20, 2016 22:22:41 GMT -5
Caris You are correct. It is a pat and trite answer. I'm sorry. What I'm trying to express is that if one does not take a little risk, do something a little different, one will always stay in the same place. I Am As Guilty Of This As Anyone. but today with meet up and group on and social networking, it's easier to meet people with the same interests. I am not saying it is your fault. I am saying if we do what we have always done, we will get what we always got. The good and the bad. Just something to consider. If I've offended, please excuse me. It was unintentionally.
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