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Post by lwoetin on Apr 12, 2016 12:49:58 GMT -5
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Post by bballgirl on Apr 12, 2016 13:14:58 GMT -5
I saw a lot of those movies.
I'm not sure they help a relationship
where people are incompatible.
My ex did not like sex or just did not like it
with me. Not sure, don't care.
Movies would not have made him have sex
with me more and the lack of sex caused me
to withdraw, detach and divorce.
I do remember last summer watching
Date Night with him, we had a huge fight.
It agitated him and all Hell broke loose.
I think the point and purpose of the movies is
that couples actively be engaged in the
relationship and communicate. Maybe if I said
to my ex if you don't have sex with me then
I will divorce you would have improved things
but really things worked out for the best - glad
he didn't I'm better off now.
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 12, 2016 13:50:33 GMT -5
Movie night gets zero stars in my book! Even in my younger days it was a formality till the real fun began! Now we arrive in seperate cars, my wife sits down with her hands full of popcorn and drinks, wants to bring children along, has nothing to say about the movie afterwards, then comes the " I am really tired, I could go to sleep" routine!
The last time I tried to "be intimate" in the theater,I got the dead, cold fish treatment.
Now the only time movies get mentioned , is for the kids.
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Post by unmatched on Apr 12, 2016 18:08:07 GMT -5
They weren't just watching the movies, they had to watch a movie then have a 45 minute guided discussion. Which says that constructive communication about your relationship is vital and it doesn't necessarily matter whether you are in a therapy setting or not. Unfortunately trying to talk to your average refuser about intimacy and sex is very much like trying to talk to your average 5 year old about Tolstoy or Monet. You might get a brief conversation but there will be little insight or understanding and they get bored and uncomfortable very quickly.
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Post by RumRunner on Apr 12, 2016 20:51:54 GMT -5
My wife and I do not have the same taste in movies so we are very different there. Movie night just doesn't work for us. I spend my time with my hobbies, and she spends her time with the computer or watching 80s reruns. This is every night! At least we don't fight much....
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Post by Isabellas39 on Apr 13, 2016 13:09:50 GMT -5
We watch movies and tv shows all time ...... Still sexless !!
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Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2016 13:28:37 GMT -5
I think the article was about watching movies that are about relationships and then discussing the movie, as opposed to just watching any movie together. Here's an excerpt from the article:
"Curious to try it at home? Researchers looked for movies that depicted couples not just falling in love (save “When Harry Met Sally” for another time), but also facing problems in their relationships, like “Couples Retreat,” with Vince Vaughn and Malin Akerman, and “Date Night,” with Tina Fey and Steve Carell. The couples in the study were assigned to watch 5 movies and have a 45 minute guided discussion afterwards. "
Personally, I don't think my refuser would have been willing to talk about any kind of relationship issue, so I don't think this would have worked for me. It seems like it would work better for couples who haven't already drifted so far apart.
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 13, 2016 13:36:11 GMT -5
Is there any information about how many fights are started by trying to have a 45 minute discussion about a movie while being told; "You just don't get it."
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Post by lwoetin on Apr 14, 2016 0:49:29 GMT -5
I appreciate the honest responses. I don't want hell to break loose by forcing a 45 minute guided discussion to an already tired spouse. The discussion can be had when it comes up naturally at a later time. Spending time together is a necessity in building a relationship. How all this leads to sex is still a mystery.
I was watching All About Anna on you tube. That movie (she) is 4 unsimulated thumbs up. Must put that on the movie list!
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