Life is all about personal growth. PERSONAL growth. - Sometimes, our environment is conducive to our personal growth. Say in a functional family, within a supportive network, within a functional marriage / adult relationship. The environment being an enhancement to our personal growth. - And sometimes, our environment is not conducive to our personal growth. Say in a dysfunctional family, within a unsupportive network, within a dysfunctional marriage / adult relationship. The environment being a huge impediment to our personal growth. - And sometimes, we are alone, or in a neutral environment, perhaps seeking personal development / enlightenment / call it what you will as a stand alone individual. - So the article makes sense, to me at least. Leaving for yourself is a perfectly valid choice. - But having said that, I think the motive for someone to leave is usually more a fear of pissing the rest of their life up against the wall than it is this rather altruistic view of leaving for oneself.
But having said that, I think the motive for someone to leave is usually more a fear of pissing the rest of their life up against the wall than it is this rather altruistic view of leaving for oneself.
Sometimes. But I think that "fear of pissing the rest of their life," and "leaving for oneself," can be one in the same. I would say that's my stance.
"The capacity that people have to love... Where does it go?" -- Truly, Madly, Deeply
Post by GeekGoddess on Oct 9, 2016 17:32:26 GMT -5
I love the article. For me, the ability to be me was what I hoped for when leaving. I nearly sank the ship very quickly when I first left. Glad as hell I knew where to get help to get sober, which has now given me a whole new life. I'm single & think that's still a smart move right now. I want to get over a bit more of my tendency to look outside myself for my happiness. I'm practicing generating my own happiness in absence of a mate -AND it's working. When I get good enough at it, then I hope to find a partner who also understands this level of self-caring so that neither of us sacrifices self to the other. We can both be supportive of the others individuality & independence. This is my hope for the future.
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njsojourner: My advice to those Suffering: screw it! Literally. Everyone deserves a fulfilling sexual life. Get it however you can. Life is short. I have no illusions —when I get caught my wife will have to decide what’s most important to her. I am not stopping!
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mirrororchid: I mention a few online chat rooms a few posts up, desertfather. Meetup.com provides real live people to chat with. Given your ILIASM situation, a lot of folks locate a therapist. (helpful for touchy subjects you can't go over with friends for over a year.
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