Life is all about personal growth. PERSONAL growth. - Sometimes, our environment is conducive to our personal growth. Say in a functional family, within a supportive network, within a functional marriage / adult relationship. The environment being an enhancement to our personal growth. - And sometimes, our environment is not conducive to our personal growth. Say in a dysfunctional family, within a unsupportive network, within a dysfunctional marriage / adult relationship. The environment being a huge impediment to our personal growth. - And sometimes, we are alone, or in a neutral environment, perhaps seeking personal development / enlightenment / call it what you will as a stand alone individual. - So the article makes sense, to me at least. Leaving for yourself is a perfectly valid choice. - But having said that, I think the motive for someone to leave is usually more a fear of pissing the rest of their life up against the wall than it is this rather altruistic view of leaving for oneself.
But having said that, I think the motive for someone to leave is usually more a fear of pissing the rest of their life up against the wall than it is this rather altruistic view of leaving for oneself.
Sometimes. But I think that "fear of pissing the rest of their life," and "leaving for oneself," can be one in the same. I would say that's my stance.
"The capacity that people have to love... Where does it go?" -- Truly, Madly, Deeply
Post by GeekGoddess on Oct 9, 2016 17:32:26 GMT -5
I love the article. For me, the ability to be me was what I hoped for when leaving. I nearly sank the ship very quickly when I first left. Glad as hell I knew where to get help to get sober, which has now given me a whole new life. I'm single & think that's still a smart move right now. I want to get over a bit more of my tendency to look outside myself for my happiness. I'm practicing generating my own happiness in absence of a mate -AND it's working. When I get good enough at it, then I hope to find a partner who also understands this level of self-caring so that neither of us sacrifices self to the other. We can both be supportive of the others individuality & independence. This is my hope for the future.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
fred: you're a little short works - was thinking this AM, there has NEVER been a day when she indicated desire for me physically (other than for heavy lifting or finance)........LOL...........earlier, i had enough libido for both of us, now i'm left with guilt
Jun 20, 2020 13:11:12 GMT -5
fred: over imposing myself on her rather than simply leaving .....DAMN LOVE ANYWAY !
Jun 20, 2020 13:12:12 GMT -5
mesulina: update everyone, still has not happened. I have now come to accept that I will live with out. It is just different now.
Jun 29, 2020 19:32:31 GMT -5
worksforme2: Sorry mesulina,... but on the positive side you did stock up on toys a short time back,..now might be the time to go for the gusto
Jun 30, 2020 17:42:54 GMT -5
grower: Embrace a change, you will wonder why you waited so long
Jul 9, 2020 11:22:56 GMT -5
grower: Your life clock is ticking away, don't waste all your time. Live some.
Jul 24, 2020 9:53:20 GMT -5
fred: blue guy, i was where you are 30 years ago. stayed.................nothing changed. if i didn't love this nice lady so much i'd be in deep regret. if she doesn't think of you in a hundred "other" ways (as does my wife) GET OUT ! Life is short
Aug 10, 2020 17:43:15 GMT -5
jerri: Yuk on the plucking chicken feathers. If a chicken doesn't get sex and intimacy she just finds a beautiful cock sooner or later. I'd say there's a much higher "philandering" rate than anyone would care to admit. The rooster who is tormented findsa chicken!
Sept 10, 2020 8:23:56 GMT -5
csl: And yet, there is an entire segment of ILIASM stayers.
Sept 10, 2020 22:04:05 GMT -5
jerri: Exactly I have read multiple threads. I was very impressed with all the different solutions everyone has found. Intellectual group and the camaraderie is nice
Sept 11, 2020 9:44:57 GMT -5
Handy: What happened to being light outside until 9:30 PM? It is 7:30 PM and dark now.
Sept 20, 2020 20:46:01 GMT -5
jerri: It's not hot there? I am getting a slight break from the heat! Cheer up buddy!
Sept 21, 2020 0:27:37 GMT -5
petrushka: Well WE are getting closer to summer. Just passed Equinox. I expect the solar panels will start paying for themselves again in the near future. (over the last few months they have merely mitigated the power bills).
Sept 21, 2020 21:00:36 GMT -5
wewbwb: jerri the average intelligence of the end posts rose greatly since I stopped posting ! Hope allis well!
Sept 26, 2020 7:29:23 GMT -5
jerri: Don't be too busy to post. Come back, wewbwb! 💜
Sept 26, 2020 20:12:33 GMT -5
Handy: Jerri, you bring intelligence, so stop that nonsense.
Sept 26, 2020 20:19:03 GMT -5
Handy: petrushka, I saved a picture of your solar panels and shop from an old post of yours. I like what I saw. Best wishes on getting the photons, or particles of light, to knock electrons free from atoms.
Sept 28, 2020 1:09:41 GMT -5
jerri: Handy, that's a really great Podcast so far. Robert Glover)
Sept 28, 2020 15:33:24 GMT -5
tamara68: wewbwb come back, you are missed here!
Oct 1, 2020 10:37:41 GMT -5