Life is all about personal growth. PERSONAL growth. - Sometimes, our environment is conducive to our personal growth. Say in a functional family, within a supportive network, within a functional marriage / adult relationship. The environment being an enhancement to our personal growth. - And sometimes, our environment is not conducive to our personal growth. Say in a dysfunctional family, within a unsupportive network, within a dysfunctional marriage / adult relationship. The environment being a huge impediment to our personal growth. - And sometimes, we are alone, or in a neutral environment, perhaps seeking personal development / enlightenment / call it what you will as a stand alone individual. - So the article makes sense, to me at least. Leaving for yourself is a perfectly valid choice. - But having said that, I think the motive for someone to leave is usually more a fear of pissing the rest of their life up against the wall than it is this rather altruistic view of leaving for oneself.
But having said that, I think the motive for someone to leave is usually more a fear of pissing the rest of their life up against the wall than it is this rather altruistic view of leaving for oneself.
Sometimes. But I think that "fear of pissing the rest of their life," and "leaving for oneself," can be one in the same. I would say that's my stance.
"The capacity that people have to love... Where does it go?" -- Truly, Madly, Deeply
Post by GeekGoddess on Oct 9, 2016 17:32:26 GMT -5
I love the article. For me, the ability to be me was what I hoped for when leaving. I nearly sank the ship very quickly when I first left. Glad as hell I knew where to get help to get sober, which has now given me a whole new life. I'm single & think that's still a smart move right now. I want to get over a bit more of my tendency to look outside myself for my happiness. I'm practicing generating my own happiness in absence of a mate -AND it's working. When I get good enough at it, then I hope to find a partner who also understands this level of self-caring so that neither of us sacrifices self to the other. We can both be supportive of the others individuality & independence. This is my hope for the future.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
worksforme2: Since our esteemed governor has declared a state of emergency here in NC (a total of 12 cases so far) the hording of toilet paper has begun. Is diarrhea a part of covid 19? I see Lowes and Home Depot have quick install toilet retro fit bidets.
Mar 13, 2020 10:34:57 GMT -5
petrushka: I've no idea what it is with the toilet paper hoarding. I walked out of a supermarket yesterday and saw a woman with the jumbo sized trolley and some 4x 18 roll packs of toilet paper. Nuts. Completely nuts. Incidentally, a bidet is definitely the way to go
Mar 14, 2020 6:18:43 GMT -5
petrushka: Even her little 5 or 6 year old was questioning her purchase!
Mar 14, 2020 6:25:44 GMT -5
petrushka: One of my favourite quotes for the last 30 years: "don't ever look a sheep in the eyes, the intellectual vacuum may suck your brains out". Well, let's all drink to the sheeple! (besides, alcohol is a good disinfectant).
Mar 14, 2020 6:31:26 GMT -5
frednsa: so...............i'd like to tell her when she "attempts to placate me": have you ever been invited to a party where you knew for certain that you WEREN'T wanted ?
Mar 19, 2020 15:57:05 GMT -5
worksforme2: Former Miss Hawaii tests positive. Being the gallant lad that I am I have offered her the use of my guest bedroom to "shelter in place"..
Mar 23, 2020 20:34:21 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey tamara68, there is a covid19 positive cat in Belgium, watch out for it.
Mar 30, 2020 14:05:56 GMT -5
tamara68: @worksforme I think I have to be more careful for all infected people. Most likely I already have Covid19
Apr 1, 2020 3:29:42 GMT -5
worksforme2: tamara68.....it's been a couple weeks since you posted you may have the covid19 virus. hopefully you are feeling better and are on your way to renewed health
Apr 11, 2020 5:31:38 GMT -5
tamara68: @worksforme thanks, yes I am feeling better. How is it in the USA?
Apr 14, 2020 1:57:26 GMT -5
worksforme2: some better and some worse,..virus seems to be slowing down, but people are beginning to refuse to stay inside,...worst thing I see is Biden leading in the election poles,...but that could be fake news
Apr 20, 2020 16:56:22 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Politics? Is that what we want to happen here?
Apr 21, 2020 6:21:24 GMT -5
petrushka: Certainly not American style politics. Toxic echo chambers.
Apr 23, 2020 16:21:52 GMT -5
petrushka: However, I feel that sexual politics, including political moves that impact the relationships between gender (misogynist, misandrist, etc) definitely deserve room in this context.
Apr 23, 2020 16:22:59 GMT -5
fred: just calculated that i've spent somewhere near 19,000 days (& nights) as a "rejectee".AND that allows for 2,000+ days (& nights) on business travel apart from her. i've chosen to "stay" .....would never do that again, and can't as you see doing the math
May 15, 2020 18:01:15 GMT -5
worksforme2: 19000 days and nights,....damn dude, that's 52 yrs.
Jun 17, 2020 9:19:10 GMT -5
fred: you're a little short works - was thinking this AM, there has NEVER been a day when she indicated desire for me physically (other than for heavy lifting or finance)........LOL...........earlier, i had enough libido for both of us, now i'm left with guilt
Jun 20, 2020 13:11:12 GMT -5
fred: over imposing myself on her rather than simply leaving .....DAMN LOVE ANYWAY !
Jun 20, 2020 13:12:12 GMT -5
mesulina: update everyone, still has not happened. I have now come to accept that I will live with out. It is just different now.
Jun 29, 2020 19:32:31 GMT -5
worksforme2: Sorry mesulina,... but on the positive side you did stock up on toys a short time back,..now might be the time to go for the gusto
Jun 30, 2020 17:42:54 GMT -5