Low T, sleep apnea & child's medical issues?

Welcome Sister jd.
I'm sure you will get some replies specific to your post in respect to low T, sleep apnea, child with medical issues, chronic stress, financial crises, and a lonely 16-year marriage full of hurt, neglect and anger.
Various members will have specific knowledge in regard to some of these issues.
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Sometimes you can get a whole lot of value from just reading voraciously in here, picking up bits here bits there. It is unlikely (though not impossible) that another member is going to have the exact same circumstances as you and be able to handle all the areas you have mentioned.
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However, just about ALL members are all too familiar with the "marriage full of hurt, neglect and anger" situation.
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Welcome again, dive in would be my initial suggestion for you.

jd : glad you found us; sorry to hear that you are struggling with an SM like the rest of us.

My household is similar yet my wife is the low-libido one: I have sleep apnea (fortunately it is well-treated with CPAP therapy); we have an adult son struggling with bi-polar issues; occasional periods of financial worries; four kids (ages 24 to 15) all still at home; my wife stresses about her low-stress job.  

She has used all these things as "justification" for her low-libido. I tried to work with it for -- oh -- decades.  We are clinically sexless for about seven years; zero marital relations in the past 15 months.

Here's the bad news there is no magic recipe to get your H back to wanting sex.  The ingredients would be:
- your husband becomes willing to work on his health issues (apnea, low-T, and probably weight and blood pressure)
- your husband becomes willing to have frank and giving conversations about the future of your marital sex life
- you become willing to let go of the resentment you have built up in 16 years

Alas, given your brief story, that sounds like collecting ALL those ingredient will be rather difficult.

Here's the main way this forum (and its predecessor) have helped me:
- I've come to shed the guilt about wanting sex from my wife; it should be obvious, but I needed the support of ILIASM to fully embrace "a normal, healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage".
- There is dang little I can do to change my wife. The best I can do is be clear what I want: first to myself, THEN in measured doses with my W. She has to want to change to make the marriage work.
- Or, well, I can change, and give up on a sex life in my marriage. In which case, there are three basic options:
1) Continue in a celibate marriage
2) Stay, but find sexual companionship outside the marriage
3) Leave the marriage

Sorry if this all sounds "too blunt". I'm not trying to be discouraging.  Personally, me being here has lifted me UP from the discouraged state I was in... and slowly replacing it with the determination and courage I need to take the next steps.

I'm curious to know your reaction, though.  Reading all that: does that confirm what you maybe already knew deep down?