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Post by darktippedrose on Sept 19, 2016 17:06:01 GMT -5
I was wondering if anyone here has dealt with a refuser who uses religious guilt against you?
Several months ago he told me that me and the kidz were dragging him down to hell.
Today and yesterday he told me I'm going to hell because I listen to belly dance music and I study and dance at home.
I'm curious if anyone else experiences this?
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Post by obobfla on Sept 19, 2016 17:36:59 GMT -5
I did but not from my refuser. I went to Catholic school, where nuns told us we were going to hell for lots of reasons, such as missing church on Sunday. I got hardened to it. Haven't been to church in three years.
Of course, if my wife used religious guilt on me and said I was going to hell, I'd say that with her, I'm already there.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2016 18:47:03 GMT -5
I was wondering if anyone here has dealt with a refuser who uses religious guilt against you? Several months ago he told me that me and the kidz were dragging him down to hell. Today and yesterday he told me I'm going to hell because I listen to belly dance music and I study and dance at home. I'm curious if anyone else experiences this? Good god no pun intended he's a nutcase. As an atheist I'm tempted to say see, this is what religion does to a person. However, a nutcase is a nutcase is a nutcase, so even if he didn't have his religion he'd find some other bizarre way to torment you. A lot of even theologically conservative religious persuasions have figured out that God gave them sex so they should keep the marital bed warm. Even acts that don't lead to procreation get the green light. As long as it's one man and one woman married to each other. I've read some weird things on Christian sex sites though (not to single Christians out, I just never read other religion sex sites). Like oral sex is ok but it puts you at risk for facial cancer, or God designed women so as not to be able to orgasm without a man's hand. I guess that design went awry. (I read that at Probe Ministries by the way. I wonder if they get the irony). |
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Post by wewbwb on Sept 19, 2016 19:12:13 GMT -5
I was wondering if anyone here has dealt with a refuser who uses religious guilt against you? Several months ago he told me that me and the kidz were dragging him down to hell. Today and yesterday he told me I'm going to hell because I listen to belly dance music and I study and dance at home. I'm curious if anyone else experiences this? Good god no pun intended he's a nutcase. As an atheist I'm tempted to say see, this is what religion does to a person. However, a nutcase is a nutcase is a nutcase, so even if he didn't have his religion he'd find some other bizarre way to torment you. A lot of even theologically conservative religious persuasions have figured out that God gave them sex so they should keep the marital bed warm. Even acts that don't lead to procreation get the green light. As long as it's one man and one woman married to each other. I've read some weird things on Christian sex sites though (not to single Christians out, I just never read other religion sex sites). Like oral sex is ok but it puts you at risk for facial cancer, or God designed women so as not to be able to orgasm without a man's hand. I guess that design went awry. (I read that at Probe Ministries by the way. I wonder if they get the irony). So to answer the question she asked your answer would seem to be "no, you didn't experience what she is going through. " |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2016 19:42:39 GMT -5
Good god no pun intended he's a nutcase. As an atheist I'm tempted to say see, this is what religion does to a person. However, a nutcase is a nutcase is a nutcase, so even if he didn't have his religion he'd find some other bizarre way to torment you. A lot of even theologically conservative religious persuasions have figured out that God gave them sex so they should keep the marital bed warm. Even acts that don't lead to procreation get the green light. As long as it's one man and one woman married to each other. I've read some weird things on Christian sex sites though (not to single Christians out, I just never read other religion sex sites). Like oral sex is ok but it puts you at risk for facial cancer, or God designed women so as not to be able to orgasm without a man's hand. I guess that design went awry. (I read that at Probe Ministries by the way. I wonder if they get the irony). So to answer the question she asked your answer would seem to be "no, you didn't experience what she is going through. " Oh yes, the question. No. My ex had a rather vague belief in a great spirit kind of like the Native Americans but really wasn't religious enough to employ religious guilt. |
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Post by baza on Sept 19, 2016 22:15:09 GMT -5
Any half decent refuser will use whatever weaponary is at hand to advance their cause.
If religion is available to use, it will be used.
If atheism is the angle to attack, that weapon will be deployed.
Whatever your particular vulnerability is, it will be targeted.
Whatever strong points the refuser might have in their toolbox, will be brought to bear on you.
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It has nothing directly to do with religion.
It has everything to do with being an arsehole, and utilising whatever is at hand to beat you down with.
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Post by obobfla on Sept 19, 2016 23:21:59 GMT -5
darktippedrose, he may use religious guilt, but unless he is using some obscure quote from St. Paul, you have Moses, Jesus, Mohammed, and all other sacred writers on your side, as far as I can tell. First, you are singing and listening to belly dance music in your house. Even a strict iman would allow a woman to do that if it's only in front of her husband. Second, all three major religions encourage marital sex, although some don't during a woman's period. He's the one going to hell, but he's putting himself in it.
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Post by darktippedrose on Sept 19, 2016 23:40:44 GMT -5
yes I do it at home because I love it and it makes me feel free. it gives me a natural high that I so desperately need. its beautiful.
and I quit performing when I was 19. I only dance around family. So its funny how much he detests belly dancing.
and yes, I havent had a hug in years. he always finds something to twist to his agenda.
but nice to know others have experienced it.
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Post by JMX on Sept 19, 2016 23:44:02 GMT -5
I was wondering if anyone here has dealt with a refuser who uses religious guilt against you? Several months ago he told me that me and the kidz were dragging him down to hell. Today and yesterday he told me I'm going to hell because I listen to belly dance music and I study and dance at home. I'm curious if anyone else experiences this? You have a husband that is glued to a religion that tells him that women suck. And everything having to do with women suck. And all of your suckage and the collective ability for everything that had to do with you - sucks everything to hell. Because he is exempt from outside influences and (under his religion) not accountable for his own actions - it's your fault. Oh! You belly dancing Jezebel! Your husband is a dick. Your husband's brand of religion is a silly, silly misogynist world-view. He is an asshole hiding behind a religion and pointing to it's thousand year-old text as reason for you to suck. Time to trade up for new books. Dump the religion. More importantly, dump the asshole. |
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Post by darktippedrose on Sept 20, 2016 1:29:50 GMT -5
my religion is fine, its just the men's convenient interpretation of it thats got everyone screwed.
I have confronted him on how his views are corrupt but it just ends up making sick to myself. ughhhh
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Post by wewbwb on Sept 20, 2016 7:22:49 GMT -5
I am no expert so please consult someone who is.
HOWEVER - it seems strange to me that something you do for exercise, fun and enjoyment in the privacy of your home, is able to send him to hell.
If you were "sweating to the oldies" would he object?
I'd start by asking someone whose opinion he respects.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2016 12:01:20 GMT -5
I would be tempted to say, "Is hell better than this marriage?" But I DON'T recommend that you get smart-mouthed with somebody abusive who could be dangerous.
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 20, 2016 12:11:04 GMT -5
I did but not from my refuser. I went to Catholic school, where nuns told us we were going to hell for lots of reasons, such as missing church on Sunday. I got hardened to it. Haven't been to church in three years. Of course, if my wife used religious guilt on me and said I was going to hell, I'd say that with her, I'm already there. I quit going to church the day I got married at 18. I saw the light. So in answer to the question, no I have not experienced refusal by religion. darktippedrose , your H is a total hypocrite and that will send him to hell. Only the actions of an individual can determine their salvation or damnation. |
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Post by darktippedrose on Sept 20, 2016 14:31:49 GMT -5
ah I completely understand. I agree he should be a man and own up to his own mistakes.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2016 15:41:27 GMT -5
My STBX told me that I would go to hell if I divorced her. She also told me that she was a child of God & I could not criticize her. Of course, if I did anything she did not like, she told me that God would get me.
I am a Christian, and I do love God, but her idea of religion was that she could do whatever she wanted & I should be a Godly husband and accept her regardless.
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