Post by pinkjeanie70 on Sept 19, 2016 15:49:03 GMT -5
Since my last big update (and likely no surprise to y'all), my BF broke up with me...citing our relationship would never be accepted by his church community because we started dating in secret, before our divorces were final. I call BS on that. He said that he practiced infidelity plain and simple. He sent me a very nice email. Yes. He broke up with me via email. Now, he offered to meet in person to discuss his decision, but I didn't see a need for him to stab me in the heart a few more times. I decided I need to have some self-respect, and I didn't want him to see me sob one last time. I also didn't respond with the hurt, harshness and anger I felt, and that which occasionally washes over me. I'm allowing myself to grieve.
I moved to date him, and I was ready to move from my home state and start anew. I'm grateful how I love my job. I had to move with a Plan B, because there are no guarantees. Don't get me wrong, the breakup hurts like hell and I am plugging along a day at a time. He broke up with me a year ago on September 15, due to feeling very overwhelmed. I can't go another round wondering if the hatchet is going to fall again, because life is full of stress.
I don't think every dating experience will be like this, but I'm going to give my heart some much-needed rest. I signed up to volunteer with a local rescue organization and I'm applying for graduate school to earn my doctorate. I have races on my calendar, and I'm training with a fun bunch of ladies. I think dating should be FUN.
I learned a lot from my experience. I learned I have the balls to leave a SM and move across country. I learned to ask for forgiveness, and grant forgiveness even if I didn't want to say, "I forgive you." I can't remember the last time (if ever) my ExH said he was sorry. I learned kids are kind of fun to hang around, and they often say witty things. I learned to appreciate the story line in a good movie, and appreciate film as art, as well as entertainment. I learned there are fun, active men out there, no couch potatoes for me.
I imagine my season of rest to last at least a full year, but I don't know. It could be shorter, it could be longer.
When he finds me, or vice versa, I just know he'll need to keep up with me.
I moved to date him, and I was ready to move from my home state and start anew. I'm grateful how I love my job. I had to move with a Plan B, because there are no guarantees. Don't get me wrong, the breakup hurts like hell and I am plugging along a day at a time. He broke up with me a year ago on September 15, due to feeling very overwhelmed. I can't go another round wondering if the hatchet is going to fall again, because life is full of stress.
I don't think every dating experience will be like this, but I'm going to give my heart some much-needed rest. I signed up to volunteer with a local rescue organization and I'm applying for graduate school to earn my doctorate. I have races on my calendar, and I'm training with a fun bunch of ladies. I think dating should be FUN.
I learned a lot from my experience. I learned I have the balls to leave a SM and move across country. I learned to ask for forgiveness, and grant forgiveness even if I didn't want to say, "I forgive you." I can't remember the last time (if ever) my ExH said he was sorry. I learned kids are kind of fun to hang around, and they often say witty things. I learned to appreciate the story line in a good movie, and appreciate film as art, as well as entertainment. I learned there are fun, active men out there, no couch potatoes for me.
I imagine my season of rest to last at least a full year, but I don't know. It could be shorter, it could be longer.
When he finds me, or vice versa, I just know he'll need to keep up with me.
