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Post by lann2015 on Apr 10, 2016 16:14:30 GMT -5
I was in a basically sexless marriage for a while. Other than that it was good.
I met and fell for someone. I know it was wrong but the intimacy was amazing! I didn't know it could be like that.
I don't love my H anymore. My AP is unavailable both physically and mentally right now. He is mentally ill and an addict and relapsed about 6 months ago.
Im so depressed because I lost both relationships around the same time. I guess it serves me right.
I am not sure how to move on. But I learned sex can be enjoyable. Am I delusional that I want a good relationship- one with mental and physical intimacy.
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 10, 2016 17:38:20 GMT -5
Google the words " the triangular theory of love" The three main points to a loving relationship are: Intimacy, Passion, and commitment. ( my therapist replaces commitment with spiritual). You can not have one without the other. Sounds like you lost all three. Continue to speak to us, let us lift you up, and console you anyway we can. ( hugs to you!)
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 10, 2016 20:13:33 GMT -5
I am not sure how to move on. But I learned sex can be enjoyable. Am I delusional that I want a good relationship- one with mental and physical intimacy. Can you move out, and live alone? Do you've children, or finance issues? All can be big factors in your decision. If you can't afford a therapist, you could always go and speak to a local pastor. more information will help others, to help you better. prayers for you tonight! |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2016 10:56:05 GMT -5
I was in a basically sexless marriage for a while. Other than that it was good. I met and fell for someone. I know it was wrong but the intimacy was amazing! I didn't know it could be like that. I don't love my H anymore. My AP is unavailable both physically and mentally right now. He is mentally ill and an addict and relapsed about 6 months ago. Im so depressed because I lost both relationships around the same time. I guess it serves me right. I am not sure how to move on. But I learned sex can be enjoyable. Am I delusional that I want a good relationship- one with mental and physical intimacy. "Moving On" is my all time most hated phrase. Moving on is a process, it's not something you decide to do then in an instant you've left everything behind. Moving on is like "letting go," it's a natural progression...the operative word being "natural." It can't be forced. Eventually, you come to another point in time where you know that you *have* moved on. It can take weeks, months, or years depending on what happened and how intense the effects on you. Sometimes, pain never goes away, but you learn to live with it, and most days you can lead a fairly "normal" life, but the hurt remains in store consciousness. Just live your life as is. Accept your feelings, and know that time is your friend in healing. With Metta {{{hugs}}} |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2016 11:33:53 GMT -5
I was in a basically sexless marriage for a while. Other than that it was good. I met and fell for someone. I know it was wrong but the intimacy was amazing! I didn't know it could be like that. I don't love my H anymore. My AP is unavailable both physically and mentally right now. He is mentally ill and an addict and relapsed about 6 months ago. Im so depressed because I lost both relationships around the same time. I guess it serves me right. I am not sure how to move on. But I learned sex can be enjoyable. Am I delusional that I want a good relationship- one with mental and physical intimacy. Not delusional but don't try to get it from an addict. |
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Post by wewbwb on Apr 11, 2016 15:20:32 GMT -5
I was in a basically sexless marriage for a while. Other than that it was good. I met and fell for someone. I know it was wrong but the intimacy was amazing! I didn't know it could be like that. I don't love my H anymore. My AP is unavailable both physically and mentally right now. He is mentally ill and an addict and relapsed about 6 months ago. Im so depressed because I lost both relationships around the same time. I guess it serves me right. I am not sure how to move on. But I learned sex can be enjoyable. Am I delusional that I want a good relationship- one with mental and physical intimacy. Why would you think you're delusional? That is the way it's SUPPOSED to be! Look for it, ask for it, demand it out of a relationship. Learn from your mistake (mental ill addict) and keep looking. I don't know what "a while" is, but was it long enough to know that a SM cannot fulfill you? If what you need is a mental and physical connection and relationship that is "healthy" then don't settle for less. You're happiness is not a delusion. |
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Post by lann2015 on Apr 13, 2016 9:48:34 GMT -5
I am not sure how to move on. But I learned sex can be enjoyable. Am I delusional that I want a good relationship- one with mental and physical intimacy. Can you move out, and live alone? Do you've children, or finance issues? All can be big factors in your decision. If you can't afford a therapist, you could always go and speak to a local pastor. more information will help others, to help you better. prayers for you tonight! No children. |
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Post by unmatched on Apr 13, 2016 20:32:01 GMT -5
Am I delusional that I want a good relationship- one with mental and physical intimacy. As far as I am concerned the whole point of a relationship is to have mental and physical intimacy in your life. Without those a relationship is just an empty window dressing. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2016 20:35:24 GMT -5
Am I delusional that I want a good relationship- one with mental and physical intimacy. As far as I am concerned the whole point of a relationship is to have mental and physical intimacy in your life. Without those a relationship is just an empty window dressing. Very well said. |
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