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Post by iceman on Sept 16, 2016 10:20:25 GMT -5
Then go out for pizza!  Great idea! And beer .... |
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Post by iceman on Sept 16, 2016 10:26:14 GMT -5
I get this and it's a really nice idea. It's a bit like the mythical unicorn. Not sure it really exists. The problem occurs when their happiness doesn't include you.
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Post by Caris on Sept 16, 2016 11:46:50 GMT -5
Expressing your feelings makes you a Grinch? No, I don't think you are getting my meaning. I don't mean don't spend the money. I just mean that if it makes you feel like an ATM, I would buy her what she wants AND share the way it makes me feel. If you do not feel disrepected by this, that's fine - it was just that the tone of your previous comments did make it seem like you didn't like it. That you wanted to be more than a wallet. I would make the purchase anyway AND tell her how it makes you FEEL. There are no right or wrong emotions. You are free to feel anything. It's more authentic to express it also. But - you seem satisfied in your deep dark pit so I should probably just leave you alone. I don't mean to be picking on you. So I will stop. I know everyone here things I live in this dark pit, but I am dealing with the realities of my life...I am not here to live in an escapist fantasy. Sure, leaving is one option, but to destroy my W, lose most of what I worked my life for, and most likely end up in the same sexless situation....is not appealing. I came to ep and here to work on improving what I can. I didn't have dates or get laid in HS, or college, or in my 20s....and that was for a reason...you can say all you want about me but to everyone here, I am just an avatar and you don't really know me...many of you project your situation onto mine...or think u can fix my poor sex history, most of you have had a sexlife or have had something more... I never had one and it's unrealistic to think I will become a sex god... I have been dumped for being a bad date... and being bad in bed... my life will never see what most of you have had.... I just try to make things a little better.. and I will take what I will from this board... but maybe I shouldn't...realism isn't allowed. And yes, I should mention to my W that I don't want to feel like a wallet... Even though we all have a SM in common, there are so many variables involved that not one size fits all. Our experience is personal and no one can know what it's like to walk in our shoes. People have a habit of wanting to "fix" things and people, it seems to be human nature. They think they have given you a solution with their advice, and if you are not getting better...you are not getting "fixed" to their specifications, then there is something wrong with you. They mean well, but like you said, they are seeing through their own lens, their own experiences, and cannot appreciate your unique experience of a very similar experience. Be you. Cherish your uniqueness because no one knows your journey like you do. I wish you well. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2016 12:06:52 GMT -5
I know everyone here things I live in this dark pit, but I am dealing with the realities of my life...I am not here to live in an escapist fantasy. Sure, leaving is one option, but to destroy my W, lose most of what I worked my life for, and most likely end up in the same sexless situation....is not appealing. I came to ep and here to work on improving what I can. I didn't have dates or get laid in HS, or college, or in my 20s....and that was for a reason...you can say all you want about me but to everyone here, I am just an avatar and you don't really know me...many of you project your situation onto mine...or think u can fix my poor sex history, most of you have had a sexlife or have had something more... I never had one and it's unrealistic to think I will become a sex god... I have been dumped for being a bad date... and being bad in bed... my life will never see what most of you have had.... I just try to make things a little better.. and I will take what I will from this board... but maybe I shouldn't...realism isn't allowed. And yes, I should mention to my W that I don't want to feel like a wallet... Even though we all have a SM in common, there are so many variables involved that not one size fits all. Our experience is personal and no one can know what it's like to walk in our shoes. People have a habit of wanting to "fix" things and people, it seems to be human nature. They think they have given you a solution with their advice, and if you are not getting better...you are not getting "fixed" to their specifications, then there is something wrong with you. They mean well, but like you said, they are seeing through their own lens, their own experiences, and cannot appreciate your unique experience of a very similar experience. Be you. Cherish your uniqueness because no one knows your journey like you do. I wish you well. Thank you. There is a lot more to me than you see on these boards....and yes, I do struggle with the depression I get from a wife who never says she loves me, kisses me, hugs me, and seems concerned about me....and acts like i am being ridiculous if I ask about it..... |
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Post by Caris on Sept 16, 2016 14:00:33 GMT -5
Even though we all have a SM in common, there are so many variables involved that not one size fits all. Our experience is personal and no one can know what it's like to walk in our shoes. People have a habit of wanting to "fix" things and people, it seems to be human nature. They think they have given you a solution with their advice, and if you are not getting better...you are not getting "fixed" to their specifications, then there is something wrong with you. They mean well, but like you said, they are seeing through their own lens, their own experiences, and cannot appreciate your unique experience of a very similar experience. Be you. Cherish your uniqueness because no one knows your journey like you do. I wish you well. Thank you. There is a lot more to me than you see on these boards....and yes, I do struggle with the depression I get from a wife who never says she loves me, kisses me, hugs me, and seems concerned about me....and acts like i am being ridiculous if I ask about it..... These boards and EP only show a snapshot of our lives. There is so much more to it than we (or I) can speak of in public. I get it, Roch. I hope you, I, all of us can find our peace and hope to live a brighter day filled with love and kindness. |
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Post by itsjustus on Sept 19, 2016 18:06:32 GMT -5
Very astute observations @roch649. Something for us all to remember. Realism is the key to coping....no matter what you decide to do, or not do. You're an important voice on this forum. Your humor, willingness to take a poke or two, and your insights.... This proves that. Keep taking from this board what you can...and please...keep giving back. |
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