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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 1, 2016 8:05:15 GMT -5
For me I would think that it is too bad if it is expensive, but as long as it is possible to get out and have enough to live from, it is worth it. Not being argumentative but I think this is too simplistic an approach. There is a difference between "living" and just "being alive". The state of NC used to punish a male who fathered children and divorced to the point that he was almost reduced to living in his car. In fact many men simply left the state to avoid the penalties imposed . I can empathize with the writer since I was once reduced from a new house on a popular lake, new autos, flying to various vacation destinations in far off lands, to living in my moms spare room. I didn't choose divorce, it was imposed on me. Some times staying is really the only viable option, if it is an option. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2016 15:24:44 GMT -5
For me I would think that it is too bad if it is expensive, but as long as it is possible to get out and have enough to live from, it is worth it. Not being argumentative but I think this is too simplistic an approach. There is a difference between "living" and just "being alive". The state of NC used to punish a male who fathered children and divorced to the point that he was almost reduced to living in his car. In fact many men simply left the state to avoid the penalties imposed . I can empathize with the writer since I was once reduced from a new house on a popular lake, new autos, flying to various vacation destinations in far off lands, to living in my moms spare room. I didn't choose divorce, it was imposed on me. Some times staying is really the only viable option, if it is an option. That sucks. Women should not be able to enslave a man just by squirting out rugrats. |
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2016 22:36:19 GMT -5
miestas, I'm so sorry about your bad news. And Borderline Personality Disorder, wow, just wow. To say that's rough to live with is putting it mildly. My brother dated a BPD girl for 4 long and miserable years. No doubt some of the most painful years of his life. I'm really sorry you are in this situation. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and working your way out. It may take time, but use it as your light at the end of the tunnel. Wishing you peace.
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Post by obobfla on Jun 1, 2016 22:57:18 GMT -5
I would be tempted to divorce just to get the kids away from a BPD mother. Trust me, if I divorced, I would want primary custody. My wife is a decent mother, but she cannot handle a teenage boy by herself. She is too mentally ill. My son is already showing resentment over her illness.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jun 2, 2016 5:10:40 GMT -5
I think for our own sanity and to be able to move forward and live again we have to put finances firmly to the back of our minds.
I will have nothing when I leave. But I am ok with that.
He's made sure we are constantly living on the breadline anyway. I've been at the bottom for a long time so I know I can survive. Survive and prosper is the plan.
It's never too late for new beginnings.
Hugs xxxx
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jun 2, 2016 5:11:29 GMT -5
The kids are a whole different game however!
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Post by baza on Jun 7, 2016 2:36:41 GMT -5
worksforme2This - "I can empathize with the writer since I was once reduced from a new house on a popular lake, new autos, flying to various vacation destinations in far off lands, to living in my moms spare room." - intrigues me. If it isn't a rude question, what are your circumstances like now, and how long ago were those circumstances you refer to ?
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 7, 2016 9:28:19 GMT -5
worksforme2 This - "I can empathize with the writer since I was once reduced from a new house on a popular lake, new autos, flying to various vacation destinations in far off lands, to living in my moms spare room." - intrigues me. If it isn't a rude question, what are your circumstances like now, and how long ago were those circumstances you refer to ? Not a problem. The was my state of being roughly 26 years ago. It constituted a pretty low point in my life. I also had to leave a great job because keeping the job would have meant not seeing my sons much, so I took a job paying way less so I could stay close to them. My dad divorced my mom when I was about 7 and I only saw him perhaps a half dozen times over the next 12 yrs. I am somewhat obtuse at times. I simply didn't or wouldn't accept my lot as my permanent spot in life. It never occurred to me that I couldn't climb back up the food chain and have a good life again, so that is what I did. My home isn't grandiose but it is definitely in the upper middle class price range along with some acreage. Everything is paid for. I was also able to earn enough that my sons went on to higher education and finished with no debt to burden them as they started their adult lives. Prudent investing and a lot of luck has given me a substantial portfolio and baring a disaster or catastrophic illness I should leave a good legacy asset wise. Whether anyone will actually remember or miss me much is another question. The 1 component missing is someone with whom to share the tales of my ribald life as a young man and to make new memories with, albeit they won't be as memorable as the ones of my youth. But maybe if I can hold on to the obtuse element in my persona I may yet have that. |
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 7, 2016 9:30:11 GMT -5
It's never too late for new beginnings. Ditto.... |
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Post by baza on Jun 7, 2016 9:34:20 GMT -5
Thanks Brother worksforme2.
The point about "working ones way back up the food chain and having a good life" is highly relevant in our group I think.
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