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Post by cagedtiger on Aug 17, 2016 21:00:14 GMT -5
Working late tonight, haven't heard a peep out of my wife since she got home from work 25 hours ago, and definitely feeling down and depressed about this whole shitty situation.
All I wanted in the marriage was a partner and companion to go on adventures with, travel all over, go to concerts and dance, be active together, drink and eat and flirt and tease and make out, and make love, and discover new things, and try new places, and make other people around us jealous because we're having fun and enjoying each other's company so much.
Why is that really so much to ask for?
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Post by DryCreek on Aug 17, 2016 21:07:39 GMT -5
Sounds pretty normal to me.
And she moved back in, why? I know, at the therapist's prodding (damn him!), but she is either a) too dumb to realize that hiding in her room and going radio-silent will not improve anything, or b) she doesn't really give a fuck about fixing anything and is trying to ignore it (you).
Let her mope at her brother's place. Good riddance. Get thee to San Diego and chase your opportunity. Hell, explore filing there after you move - if that works, you may find there's no waiting period, etc.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Aug 17, 2016 21:26:15 GMT -5
CT: no, it isn't too much to ask. We all seem to have managed to ask the wrong people.....  |
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Post by baza on Aug 17, 2016 21:38:48 GMT -5
Under "normal" circumstances, with 2 "normal" people, what you describe is not too much to ask.
In fact, it is pretty "normal".
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ILIASM shitholes are NOT "normal".
Hence, "normal" things are not achievable in an ILIASM environment.
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You appear Brother ct, to have an opportunity to move on, geographically (at a bare minimum) if not altogether.
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Karma does not keep chucking opportunities at us.
They are rare, and precious.
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Post by eternaloptimism on Aug 17, 2016 22:15:34 GMT -5
Working late tonight, haven't heard a peep out of my wife since she got home from work 25 hours ago, and definitely feeling down and depressed about this whole shitty situation. All I wanted in the marriage was a partner and companion to go on adventures with, travel all over, go to concerts and dance, be active together, drink and eat and flirt and tease and make out, and make love, and discover new things, and try new places, and make other people around us jealous because we're having fun and enjoying each other's company so much. Why is that really so much to ask for? [br It's not too much to ask for. This is a positive journey now CT. A journey where your destination is your freedom to find that. Xxxx |
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Post by unmatched on Aug 17, 2016 23:10:17 GMT -5
Working late tonight, haven't heard a peep out of my wife since she got home from work 25 hours ago, and definitely feeling down and depressed about this whole shitty situation. All I wanted in the marriage was a partner and companion to go on adventures with, travel all over, go to concerts and dance, be active together, drink and eat and flirt and tease and make out, and make love, and discover new things, and try new places, and make other people around us jealous because we're having fun and enjoying each other's company so much. Why is that really so much to ask for? That sounds like a very clear definition of what you are looking for in a partner. But honestly ... if that is what you want then you married the wrong person. Can you really see your wife ever turning into that? It is like asking Eeyore to turn into Tigger (or even Roo). |
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Post by ggold on Aug 17, 2016 23:34:58 GMT -5
cagedtiger You want a "normal" relationship. That is not too much to ask for. It's what you expected when you got married!! Isn't that why we got married? We wanted a partner to enjoy our lives with and be with us when times got tough. I never thought my marriage would be a fairy tale. We've certainly had our challenges. He's been great through many of them, too. As time went on, our connection and intimacy flew out the window. Routine set in and we no longer did fun things. We lacked communication about it. Well, now, there's nothing. No sex, no fun, no excitement, no communication, etc. We need new partners!! Seriously!! :-(
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Post by bballgirl on Aug 18, 2016 9:25:09 GMT -5
Sounds pretty normal to me. And she moved back in, why? I know, at the therapist's prodding (damn him!), but she is either a) too dumb to realize that hiding in her room and going radio-silent will not improve anything, or b) she doesn't really give a fuck about fixing anything and is trying to ignore it (you). Let her mope at her brother's place. Good riddance. Get thee to San Diego and chase your opportunity. Hell, explore filing there after you move - if that works, you may find there's no waiting period, etc. Great point DC about filing in San Diego! |
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Post by cagedtiger on Aug 18, 2016 9:31:09 GMT -5
Sounds pretty normal to me. And she moved back in, why? I know, at the therapist's prodding (damn him!), but she is either a) too dumb to realize that hiding in her room and going radio-silent will not improve anything, or b) she doesn't really give a fuck about fixing anything and is trying to ignore it (you). Let her mope at her brother's place. Good riddance. Get thee to San Diego and chase your opportunity. Hell, explore filing there after you move - if that works, you may find there's no waiting period, etc. Great point DC about filing in San Diego! Well, San Diego is one possibility, DC is the other. DC would be the more immediate one, though that's looking like it'd be later in 2017. We'll see. |
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Post by bballgirl on Aug 18, 2016 9:36:57 GMT -5
Great point DC about filing in San Diego! Well, San Diego is one possibility, DC is the other. DC would be the more immediate one, though that's looking like it'd be later in 2017. We'll see. Well I have a friend, a former EP ILIASM (not on this forum) member in DC and there's a waiting period in Virginia. He separated in May and is looking forward to his freedom. |
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Post by cagedtiger on Aug 18, 2016 9:46:34 GMT -5
6 months in VA, right?
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Post by bballgirl on Aug 18, 2016 10:17:20 GMT -5
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Post by cagedtiger on Aug 18, 2016 10:24:01 GMT -5
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Post by bballgirl on Aug 18, 2016 10:30:00 GMT -5
My friend in Virginia said if he ever gets married again he will do it in Florida where I live because I told him how quick my divorce went. Filed- November, Signed - December, Divorced - January. Anyway, I told him to do that come down to Florida to get remarried so I can knock him upside the head with a shovel. |
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Post by jim44444 on Aug 18, 2016 15:58:33 GMT -5
Working late tonight, haven't heard a peep out of my wife since she got home from work 25 hours ago, and definitely feeling down and depressed about this whole shitty situation. All I wanted in the marriage was a partner and companion to go on adventures with, travel all over, go to concerts and dance, be active together, drink and eat and flirt and tease and make out, and make love, and discover new things, and try new places, and make other people around us jealous because we're having fun and enjoying each other's company so much. Why is that really so much to ask for No cagedtiger that is not too much to ask for. At least not for you and I and all of us own this forum. However, it is too much to ask for for our spouses and partners. Their concept of an ideal relationship is not the same as ours. That does not make them wrong or evil. It does not make us wrong or evil. We just are not compatible with them and should be with someone else. Every relationship has areas of disconnect, different goals, dissimilar dreams but the over all the differences just enhance the couple. With us the differences are overwhelming. Asking our partners to change is as futile as them asking us to change. |
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