|
|
Post by baza on Aug 17, 2016 3:08:07 GMT -5
I have just been reading up on some stats concerning divorce in my jurisdiction (where the divorce rate is one third of marriages)
-
Here are the main reasons for divorce disclosed (they are 2011 figures based on a study of 650 divorces)
-
1 - loss of connection and infidelity/trust issues (45%).
2 - communication problems (27%),
3 - physical or emotional abuse: (8%)
4 - alcohol and drug abuse: (7%)
5 - financial problems: (5%)
6 - physical health or mental health issues: (5%)
7 - work/time pressures: (2%)
8 - family interference: (1%)
-
I was surprised by #5. I thought that financial reasons would have been a bigger percentage.
-
But the main takeaway, is that "sexual avoidance" did not get a mention as a stand alone issue.
-
I figure that it is a given that if the marriage is exhibiting the above primary causes of divorce, you can take it as read that there will not be a great deal of rooting going on in the marriage. The sex may be the highly visible symptom, but not the primary problem.
-
Or to put it another way, if you think that "everything is great bar the sex" you are probably mistaken.
There are likely deeper issues in play.
|
|
|
|
Post by TMD on Aug 17, 2016 22:58:15 GMT -5
- Or to put it another way, if you think that "everything is great bar the sex" you are probably mistaken. There are likely deeper issues in play. This would be an interesting research topic. How long does it take for a person who goes by the line, "everything is great bar the sex," to realize that it's BS? . I used to use that line. It took me 16 years. |
|
Moetse Tau
Junior Member
Posts: 87 
Age Range: 41-45
|
Post by Moetse Tau on Aug 18, 2016 1:15:40 GMT -5
- Or to put it another way, if you think that "everything is great bar the sex" you are probably mistaken. There are likely deeper issues in play. This would be an interesting research topic. How long does it take for a person who goes by the line, "everything is great bar the sex," to realize that it's BS? . I used to use that line. It took me 16 years. I think it has took me about 4 or 5 years. Now that I have given up on sex with her, it has become less of an issue, and I have seen many other issues in the marriage that are not great...so to speak. Also, every one of my co-workers are women, so I get to hear many candid conversations about them and the things they do for, and ways they treat their men, and I have quickly began to realize how much is not done for me.... I will stop there before I end up needing to create a whole new thread... |
|
|
|
Post by wewbwb on Aug 18, 2016 5:10:46 GMT -5
This would be an interesting research topic. How long does it take for a person who goes by the line, "everything is great bar the sex," to realize that it's BS? . I used to use that line. It took me 16 years. I think it has took me about 4 or 5 years. Now that I have given up on sex with her, it has become less of an issue, and I have seen many other issues in the marriage that are not great...so to speak. Also, every one of my co-workers are women, so I get to hear many candid conversations about them and the things they do for, and ways they treat their men, and I have quickly began to realize how much is not done for me.... I will stop there before I end up needing to create a whole new thread... Why stop? That is exactly the point of the forum. Rage. Vent. Express the things you feel you can't any where else. |
|
|
|
Post by jim44444 on Aug 18, 2016 13:40:57 GMT -5
I have just been reading up on some stats concerning divorce in my jurisdiction (where the divorce rate is one third of marriages) - Here are the main reasons for divorce disclosed (they are 2011 figures based on a study of 650 divorces) - 1 - loss of connection and infidelity/trust issues (45%). 2 - communication problems (27%), . . . I would speculate that most people will never list the lack of sex as a reason for divorce. Few will want to appear that "shallow" in the face of a hypocritical society. I am guessing that an SM is buried in reason #1. Maybe being sexless is the root cause of "loss of connection and infidelity/trust issues". |
|
|
|
Post by baza on Aug 18, 2016 22:28:35 GMT -5
FWIW Brother jim, in my time on EP, and here, I cannot recall a single incidence where someone left their dysfunctional marriage solely because of the paucity of sex.
If anyone could be arsed, it would be interesting to put up a poll question (probably under the 'Post SM' heading) asking those who have left their ILIASM shithole to respond to the question - "was the paucity of sex in your deal the sole reason you left ?"
or maybe
"was the paucity of sex in your deal the main reason you left ?"
-
I'd set the poll up if anyone wants me to, but I reckon I already know the answer.
|
|
|
|
Post by GeekGoddess on Aug 18, 2016 22:47:34 GMT -5
I pulled out my decree to check the language. I remember when the lawyer first asked me the reason for wanting to file (before I knew for sure I would even hire him) - and I paused for just a second and I think I told him right then that it was a dysfunctional marriage meaning no sex life and had devolved into not even having any manners. His rephrase was something like "irreconcilable differences" and I agreed with that characterization.
The decree (which I keep handy - just because it's my walking papers and so official, like it confirms: GrantGeek is an adult who is allowed to live on her own and make her own life)...sorry for the aside.
The decree reads: That there remains no reasonable likelihood that the marriage can be preserved and, therefore, the marriage of the parties is irretrievably broken.
So mine would be lumped into #1 of the list.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2016 14:08:26 GMT -5
FWIW Brother jim, in my time on EP, and here, I cannot recall a single incidence where someone left their dysfunctional marriage solely because of the paucity of sex. If anyone could be arsed, it would be interesting to put up a poll question (probably under the 'Post SM' heading) asking those who have left their ILIASM shithole to respond to the question - "was the paucity of sex in your deal the sole reason you left ?" or maybe "was the paucity of sex in your deal the main reason you left ?" - I'd set the poll up if anyone wants me to, but I reckon I already know the answer. I don't know why anybody puts up with marriage if they're NOT getting sex. [Now that I'm out. If I really want to know, I guess I could read my earliest EP posts.] |
|
