Post by aubie1 on Aug 15, 2016 18:14:28 GMT -5
well Saturday night was a dozie. Started out she wanted to go on a mission trip that I am leading just because her sister wanted go. I said make sure yours reason for going are valid (even tho she hasn't been to church in over ten years.
Well that lead to how my life isn't so pure. That I'm sleeping in a separate room away from w. She said ...You say a cuss word every now and then. She said....You drink, you go gambling in casinos. She said...You have no right to say that to me.
i brought up the fact about our last trip, how she made it a point to sleep in the other bed. Told her the dogs wake me up at the crack of dawn to go out because she wants them in the bed with her. Told her the bedroom was to cold for me at night....we have a small window unit for the bedroom so she can sleep at night because she likes the temp around 65.
she said your just pissed you didn't get F..ked on the trip.
I told her it was the first trip I didn't bring any of the lubs she said she needs when we do try. She has a condition for the last four to five years of painful intercourse. I told it was the first trip I didn't expect anything. Told her how upset I was she stopped trying to look for a cure or go to the doctor for a cure. Told her ...look we did other things before other than penatrating sex...why can't that happen now. Told her... that the rejection and loneliness is getting to me. It has been 17 months since any kind of sexual contact.
She said the other stuff does nothing for her. she he said the only thing that works for her is you being inside and that hurts now. You don't care if it hurts as long as you get your nuts off. You want me to take some drug that will give me cancer and kill me( most pills for that are not recommended for women who had breast cancer), cause that is the only drugs out there for this problem.
I said no. I said... But there are other things you can do, like the video I was trying to show here a few weeks before the trip that she blew off. There are exercises and physical treatments..
yea she said...I looked at that so you want to hurt me by jamming something up there for a few months. .( the treatments is where you insert a small tube and get larger as the pain become less.)
then she says....when you had your PE problem I was supportive and patient until you found a PILL that worked. A PILL , not pain. I had to fake thousands of organism until that got fixed.
two things went thru my mind....first...in 25 years of marriage we have had sex less than 300 times ( estimate). Usual stretches of 6 to 8 months were common. Three stretches long stretches ....14 months, 16 months and now 17 months.
second I remember talking to the doctor about PE. He asked how long had it been since we had sex...I said 8 months. Doctor said there are not to many men that can last long going 8 months without sex. Got some pills....problem solved...even on the 6 to 8 month stretches.
I didn't say any of the above that went thru my mind.
i told her I would be patient and would not push the subject again. I feel like a failure as a man and husband. The depression really kicked in after that. I am a 53 year old man that will never hold a woman in my arms again. ( actually started when 51 even more depressing). She flipped everything to it is your fault and your not caring about my problem. She told me marriage is not about sex, it is about being together.
I told her I need the intimacy to feel loved. Physical touch is my love language....she said that is not what marriage is about and that I just want to get my nuts off ( she said that three times in the fight.) sorry so long....but I'm really not in a good place right now.
Well that lead to how my life isn't so pure. That I'm sleeping in a separate room away from w. She said ...You say a cuss word every now and then. She said....You drink, you go gambling in casinos. She said...You have no right to say that to me.
i brought up the fact about our last trip, how she made it a point to sleep in the other bed. Told her the dogs wake me up at the crack of dawn to go out because she wants them in the bed with her. Told her the bedroom was to cold for me at night....we have a small window unit for the bedroom so she can sleep at night because she likes the temp around 65.
she said your just pissed you didn't get F..ked on the trip.
I told her it was the first trip I didn't bring any of the lubs she said she needs when we do try. She has a condition for the last four to five years of painful intercourse. I told it was the first trip I didn't expect anything. Told her how upset I was she stopped trying to look for a cure or go to the doctor for a cure. Told her ...look we did other things before other than penatrating sex...why can't that happen now. Told her... that the rejection and loneliness is getting to me. It has been 17 months since any kind of sexual contact.
She said the other stuff does nothing for her. she he said the only thing that works for her is you being inside and that hurts now. You don't care if it hurts as long as you get your nuts off. You want me to take some drug that will give me cancer and kill me( most pills for that are not recommended for women who had breast cancer), cause that is the only drugs out there for this problem.
I said no. I said... But there are other things you can do, like the video I was trying to show here a few weeks before the trip that she blew off. There are exercises and physical treatments..
yea she said...I looked at that so you want to hurt me by jamming something up there for a few months. .( the treatments is where you insert a small tube and get larger as the pain become less.)
then she says....when you had your PE problem I was supportive and patient until you found a PILL that worked. A PILL , not pain. I had to fake thousands of organism until that got fixed.
two things went thru my mind....first...in 25 years of marriage we have had sex less than 300 times ( estimate). Usual stretches of 6 to 8 months were common. Three stretches long stretches ....14 months, 16 months and now 17 months.
second I remember talking to the doctor about PE. He asked how long had it been since we had sex...I said 8 months. Doctor said there are not to many men that can last long going 8 months without sex. Got some pills....problem solved...even on the 6 to 8 month stretches.
I didn't say any of the above that went thru my mind.
i told her I would be patient and would not push the subject again. I feel like a failure as a man and husband. The depression really kicked in after that. I am a 53 year old man that will never hold a woman in my arms again. ( actually started when 51 even more depressing). She flipped everything to it is your fault and your not caring about my problem. She told me marriage is not about sex, it is about being together.
I told her I need the intimacy to feel loved. Physical touch is my love language....she said that is not what marriage is about and that I just want to get my nuts off ( she said that three times in the fight.) sorry so long....but I'm really not in a good place right now.
