Post by warmways on Aug 14, 2016 14:37:59 GMT -5
This is what's really working for me:
Give yourself permission to make a mistake. It's okay. The world won't end.
If you're not used to thinking about your own needs, allow yourself the time and energy to start daydreaming about what would make you happy. If you don't know like I didn't - be totally selfish. Try lots of things until you know.
if you've spent so much time worrying and wondering about your marriage like I have and can get stuck in the never ending loop..
give yourself a break and instead of allowing thoughts to habitually drift to the dark, dismal, dreary, dysfunctional space of your marriage..
step out of yourself, be objective and think of what would make you smile/laugh/or energize you
even if it doesn't seem cool or would be boring to someone else.
when you come out of a good experience you'll be able to take your necessary steps towards getting out of your dysfunctional marriage with a different perspective and regain some of your power. By attending to your needs you're going to be so much better equipped with the
really tough decision to end your marriage
Its so important to be able to remember who you are and still live while wrestling with the emotional pain
I allowed myself to get so lost and pulled into trying to sort things out with us until I stopped living and being happy. Therapist told me she gave me permission to make mistakes. I'm now living again and showing up and it's been awesome It's as if I'm single. My h is glued to his computer and doesn't leave the house but the adventures I'm having by not worrying about making mistakes and having fun again, are giving me clarity to take the steps towards my exit plan. It wasn't coming together while I was steeped in misery.
It it seems obvious now but I was too wrapped up to get it. It's a challenge. I have a
ways to go but when I stopped caring so much (while still being mostly polite), about what he wanted, how he felt, do I need to check with him on everything, etc and responding with calm when he blows up and not fusing, I feel a lot lighter.
Im just hoping this helps even one person. Good luck!!
Give yourself permission to make a mistake. It's okay. The world won't end.
If you're not used to thinking about your own needs, allow yourself the time and energy to start daydreaming about what would make you happy. If you don't know like I didn't - be totally selfish. Try lots of things until you know.
if you've spent so much time worrying and wondering about your marriage like I have and can get stuck in the never ending loop..
give yourself a break and instead of allowing thoughts to habitually drift to the dark, dismal, dreary, dysfunctional space of your marriage..
step out of yourself, be objective and think of what would make you smile/laugh/or energize you
even if it doesn't seem cool or would be boring to someone else.
when you come out of a good experience you'll be able to take your necessary steps towards getting out of your dysfunctional marriage with a different perspective and regain some of your power. By attending to your needs you're going to be so much better equipped with the
really tough decision to end your marriage
Its so important to be able to remember who you are and still live while wrestling with the emotional pain
I allowed myself to get so lost and pulled into trying to sort things out with us until I stopped living and being happy. Therapist told me she gave me permission to make mistakes. I'm now living again and showing up and it's been awesome It's as if I'm single. My h is glued to his computer and doesn't leave the house but the adventures I'm having by not worrying about making mistakes and having fun again, are giving me clarity to take the steps towards my exit plan. It wasn't coming together while I was steeped in misery.
It it seems obvious now but I was too wrapped up to get it. It's a challenge. I have a
ways to go but when I stopped caring so much (while still being mostly polite), about what he wanted, how he felt, do I need to check with him on everything, etc and responding with calm when he blows up and not fusing, I feel a lot lighter.
Im just hoping this helps even one person. Good luck!!
