Post by sleeplessknight on Aug 10, 2016 7:52:16 GMT -5
The 3-year anniversary for leaving my SM. Felt it apt to come back here and leave one last brief update.
Though EP had been a lifeline for me during the critical period while I was ending my SM, its own end came as a blessing. Freed up time to catch up with my life.
Daughter thriving. The shared custody arrangement is working well. She has now spent half her life with us separated or divorced. Naturally, she sometimes expresses wishes for us to be back together, but not often. I explain to her it’s not happening. My ex and I attend her activities together – performances, school graduation, school picnic, etc. We celebrated fourth of July together. It’s nice to be on reasonably good terms after a divorce. We managed to remain civilized. In some ways we are friendlier now than when we were married. Ex draws on me for financial advice, which I don’t mind. She’s buying a house now. Glad to see her moving on.
Financially, I am worse off than she is, partly my own doing – loaning money to my parents. Still I am on the right track. Work getting busy. May have to quit my second job and concentrate 100% on my primary job. Not a bad thing.
Memories of the married years still resurface, but they’re no longer associated with any pain. I now accept them as part of my past history, as I have learned to accept my present for what it is. Acceptance is the final stage of grief, so it’s over I guess. Besides, I have three years of new memories since I ended my marriage, and they’re happy ones for the most part - Baz is right on that one.
Unjusted and I are still seeing each other regularly – every two weeks if we can manage it. Her children know about me now. So much better when the secrecy is relaxed. Her divorce is just, finally, coming to end. After spending 2.5 years in denial, her ex finally signed an agreement to end it. Now it’s mostly paperwork.
Almost simultaneously, my brother got his day in court. His divorce was going on for a year now. His STBX was adamant on her unreasonable financial demands from him, even walking out of mediation. The judge threw away her case, ordering them to sell the house now and limiting my brother’s payments to the legal obligation of child support. She would have gotten twice that if she had accepted his offer. My brother have gotten close lately, with him calling me often for advice. His children are almost adult age and they’re not taking the divorce as easily as my daughter has. He wishes he has left his SM 10 years ago! It took me to take the first step and set the precedent of divorce in my family.
It goes to say someone has to go first.
Anyways, I was organizing my photos from 2015. I’ve never seen me smiling so much. Compared to the grim expression of my sexless years, it is something. Furthermore, the fact boggles me that I have so many memories from just one year, and that’s already two years after I’ve left. Had I stayed, would have been wasted time. As I was telling UJ when we met at this place we frequent, “it’s our third summer in ______.”
Though EP had been a lifeline for me during the critical period while I was ending my SM, its own end came as a blessing. Freed up time to catch up with my life.
Daughter thriving. The shared custody arrangement is working well. She has now spent half her life with us separated or divorced. Naturally, she sometimes expresses wishes for us to be back together, but not often. I explain to her it’s not happening. My ex and I attend her activities together – performances, school graduation, school picnic, etc. We celebrated fourth of July together. It’s nice to be on reasonably good terms after a divorce. We managed to remain civilized. In some ways we are friendlier now than when we were married. Ex draws on me for financial advice, which I don’t mind. She’s buying a house now. Glad to see her moving on.
Financially, I am worse off than she is, partly my own doing – loaning money to my parents. Still I am on the right track. Work getting busy. May have to quit my second job and concentrate 100% on my primary job. Not a bad thing.
Memories of the married years still resurface, but they’re no longer associated with any pain. I now accept them as part of my past history, as I have learned to accept my present for what it is. Acceptance is the final stage of grief, so it’s over I guess. Besides, I have three years of new memories since I ended my marriage, and they’re happy ones for the most part - Baz is right on that one.
Unjusted and I are still seeing each other regularly – every two weeks if we can manage it. Her children know about me now. So much better when the secrecy is relaxed. Her divorce is just, finally, coming to end. After spending 2.5 years in denial, her ex finally signed an agreement to end it. Now it’s mostly paperwork.
Almost simultaneously, my brother got his day in court. His divorce was going on for a year now. His STBX was adamant on her unreasonable financial demands from him, even walking out of mediation. The judge threw away her case, ordering them to sell the house now and limiting my brother’s payments to the legal obligation of child support. She would have gotten twice that if she had accepted his offer. My brother have gotten close lately, with him calling me often for advice. His children are almost adult age and they’re not taking the divorce as easily as my daughter has. He wishes he has left his SM 10 years ago! It took me to take the first step and set the precedent of divorce in my family.
It goes to say someone has to go first.
Anyways, I was organizing my photos from 2015. I’ve never seen me smiling so much. Compared to the grim expression of my sexless years, it is something. Furthermore, the fact boggles me that I have so many memories from just one year, and that’s already two years after I’ve left. Had I stayed, would have been wasted time. As I was telling UJ when we met at this place we frequent, “it’s our third summer in ______.”
