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Post by casual777 on Sept 6, 2017 16:43:59 GMT -5
She doesn't know I am bi. And at the moment I would say the marriage is far from toxic. I maybe putting in 80 per cent of the effort but it helps both of us and the kids that at least one of the parents spend a lot of the time being grateful, mindful and sex-positive to keep the show on the road . The 15 sexual encounters per year and a couple of outsources means things are ticking over despite the odd difficult time and my worries about the future .
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Post by casual777 on Aug 30, 2017 1:19:11 GMT -5
We just had a lovely vacation that was sexless and yet the morning after we came back we had sex. I am beginning to think that one way of keeping the show on the road (we have young kids) is to stop categorising things like holidays and birthdays and anniversaries as must have sex occasions, keep as much positivity going as I can and try to engineer everyday opportunities. It's like a full time job but I am not ready for any other possibility . I might have an SM in the making but i am gonna fight to the death before declaring it dead
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Post by casual777 on Aug 30, 2017 1:09:17 GMT -5
I have to say there is one thing which helps which is making sure that I am not contributing to a sexless phase. If it's been a while and I appear miserable then it contributes to maintaining sexlessness. If I use everything at my disposal to keep being or appearing positive then the marriage is occasionally sexual.
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Post by casual777 on Aug 4, 2017 15:01:01 GMT -5
Thank you for your kindness
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Post by casual777 on Aug 4, 2017 0:05:40 GMT -5
Occasionally straying has in my view kept me sane/alive so there was very little choice although I am aware that sounds narcissistic and won't wash in a family court. I genuinely can't see us using lawyers. I'd either move out or maybe move downstairs and we would agree child support payments. The kids are such a priority that their need for minimal disruption and toxicity will take over
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Post by casual777 on Aug 3, 2017 14:55:10 GMT -5
I have been lurking for a while and thought it's time to post. I am in my early 40s and have been with my wife for nearly 15 years. Initially sex was great with a number of kinks explored, but 2 years in some the foreplay started to lessen. I am bisexual and would sometimes hook up with guys to make up for that. Despite this there were periods including as recently as six months ago when frequency and quality of sex was great and I would stop playing away. I have been tested recently and was clear. The frequency has gradually come down and is now once every 3-4 weeks generally . It can come across as dutiful particularly the most recent encounter 2 weeks ago. My wife said that she sometimes has zero sex drive. Our marriage is otherwise solid, we have two wonderful and bright kids, a luxury house, only I work, and I am a very hands on dad. The slow journey towards sexlessness is killing me. I was very distressed on the way to work today. She is a wonderful woman and I am not leaving her, certainly until the kids are adults and have reached their potential . Sex is vital to me and I stand tall afterwards for a week or so, even if it's average . I have worked on my mood, practice mindfulness, use a positive thinking app and write a gratitude list everyday. We have everything , but if the 3 weekly sex disappears I will feel that I have nothing. I want to stop cheating but it's becoming more not less likely to happen with every passing day.
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