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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 4, 2017 20:09:59 GMT -5
What other shoe? I'm not sure I know what you mean there?
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 4, 2017 19:56:05 GMT -5
Try telling him what he does right. That you want more of that. Perhaps broach the subject when he is not initiating. "Honey, I really love it when you... How about we try..." Instead of focusing on what frustrates you focus on your strengths and build on them. Sometimes constructive criticism needs to be started slowly. Why does hubby need to know your private medical issues? Go to the doctor by yourself. And I have told him what I like and don't like. Yet it doesn't seem to sink in with him. As for the dr, I went alone. I just told him what the dr told me
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 4, 2017 19:54:25 GMT -5
See, that's where it gets complicated with me. When I do want sex, or rather when it really hits, it always seems to be during the day when he's at work or when he doesn't seem interested.
If he maybe tried to get me in the mood differently, things might not be so bad. But him basically groping me isn't the way to get me in a sexual mood
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 4, 2017 18:52:59 GMT -5
You're right and I have done my damnest to explain where I'm coming from and what we can do. When I tell him about how he tries to broach sex he just gets frustrated when I tell him how it makes me feel. The he gets angry.
I know he feels frustrated about what seems to be a lack of interest on my part but I don't know how else to tell him or what to do.
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 4, 2017 18:46:01 GMT -5
It's not that he's not a good lover. I guess before he put a ring on it there was more...romance.
I used to get butterflies when we would do something so simple as hold hands and such.
Maybe I've read too many books but even in my own writing I have little details like that with my characters. I guess I miss that intimacy
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 4, 2017 18:22:18 GMT -5
Okay, so this may a different scenario but just now H asked for a bj/hj. I told him I wasn't interested.
I hate that I'm the main one in the Marriage with little interest in sex. Well, that's not completely true. Let me elaborate.
I like sex but I guess it's how H broaches the subject. Ex: "you wanna do it?" "I could really go for a bj"
Ugh. Seriously? Then when he does touch me to try and get me interested where do his hands go? Tits, ass or between my legs. It makes me feel like I should be charging him something.
I've told him I don't like it and how it makes me feel but nothing. My sex drive is erratic and I have gone to the dr about it. Come to find out my testosterone levels are a little low. (Yeah apparently women have testosterone) she also offered a possible solution but hubby didn't seems the least bit interested and said I should just exercise more and it would help. 😑 now he thinks he's doogy houser.
So what do I do? I fee alone in this. I've tried several times over the last ten years to explain how I feel but it's done nothing.
Feeling so lost here and guilty for saying no. 😞
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 3, 2017 0:37:49 GMT -5
It's nice to meet you. 😊
As for your questions:
The changes in him I was noticing before I realized my libedo was changing. At first I thought it would pass.
Question 2: we used to talk about sex but now not so much.
Question 3: yes it is. It's the most frequent. Mainly me giving him a bj
Question 4: we sometimes sleep in the same bed. I'm a night owl so sometimes I crash on the couch so I don't wake him (mostly on work nights for him). Sometimes we talk about the future. As for enjoying each other's company it's yes and no.
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 2, 2017 22:51:21 GMT -5
I know I posted here not long ago but I guess I could elaborate a bit more on my situation.
For the first six years of my marriage my husband was a Marine. Before we got married in '01 he was more romantic and such. Now, not so much. Lol okay, not really at all.
Our sexlife is up and down. It's more down and more me. He's up for it me not so much. I even brought the subject up with my dr and they ran tests and found out my testosterone (until now didn't even know women had testosterone) levels were low.
My hubby's answer exercise more etc. in truth, I haven't felt like a woman in a long time.
My hubby is a runner and more athletic than I am. When we go places and a woman who looks good walks by he says something like "I'm sorry but damn."
I don't say anything but it hurts. I've told him this and it's like he doesn't hear it or doesn't get it.
Even though I'm married and I love my husband, I feel lonely. I can't talk to anyone in family about this because I'm worried it will inadvertently get back to him.
I also deal with depression that stems from having lost my father at 15 and the unresolved issues. I still battle it but it's manageable and I don't need medication for it thankfully. It does creep up on me from time to time, but I have ways of battling it back.
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 2, 2017 22:25:45 GMT -5
Thanks Dan.
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Post by tiffanyc on Jun 2, 2017 21:47:41 GMT -5
Hello everyone.
I'm 34, been married almost 16 years this month with two teenage daughters. At times my marriage is sexless but the issue that brought me here runs deeper.
I'm hoping to either find some advice to help or at least some new friends.
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