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Post by sminpa on Sept 22, 2018 18:22:25 GMT -5
1 year 5 months 5 days 19 hours 21 minutes 33 seconds ago, to be precise ;-)
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Post by sminpa on Apr 16, 2018 22:14:39 GMT -5
Thought about posting Happy Anniversary on Facebook. Hahaha Got nervous in the last week she was going to offer shitty reset sex, would have hated to have blown the milestone. (Sarcasm throughout).
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Post by sminpa on Dec 15, 2016 8:47:32 GMT -5
I bought my refuser a mattress heating pad that uses water to heat so it is not as drying. Of course I wouldn't know how well it heats because I am not allowed in her side of the bed. Uhhh... You didn't buy yourself one too? No sir, I would get too hot. I prefer cold room and extra blankets. I get a warm room and one duvet.
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Post by sminpa on Dec 15, 2016 7:51:43 GMT -5
I bought my refuser a mattress heating pad that uses water to heat so it is not as drying. Of course I wouldn't know how well it heats because I am not allowed in her side of the bed.
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Post by sminpa on Nov 27, 2016 10:57:18 GMT -5
Applied for and was offered a new job. Would have taken it but the money wasn't what I needed. The interview process was three steps.
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Post by sminpa on Oct 23, 2016 21:27:56 GMT -5
Well 11 for 11 now. We actually did hug but that was as after she asked me if I liked her card and I was trying not to laugh. I stood up and gave her a hug. Felt akin to the hug you would give a distant relative. Oh yeah. Here's the card Attachments:
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Post by sminpa on Oct 12, 2016 16:46:49 GMT -5
Isn't this 1st degree stereo typing? That would be a big turn off from a councilor who is supposed to be giving me customized, individual, one on one service! Physical: I was naked, you clothed me. Hungry, you gave me food. Cold and wet, you gave me shelter. Pretty basic. This can be accepted or denied too. But the person giving, has the satisfaction of the physical evidence. They know how a vast majority would perceive there efforts as the right thing to do. emotional: you can have 100 people, with 100 different approaches, yet it comes down to the person with the emotional problem to decide wether to accept, any of it, or deny all of it. Which keeps the person giving the emotional healing in a constant , never ending loose, loose situation. So, maybe, if emotionally she might want to hold your hand, ( give a starving person bread and water) in the future. Boy, that's encouraging!! Kind of missed that in the marriage vows. The only person on the planet that I am allowed to give intimacy to or have sex with, is allowed to ( quoting my own STBX here during counciling) " there's a chance, that I might, possibly, consider, that maybe, sometime, I might possibly need to work on that, some". That's a pet peeve when people who should know better perpetuate that ridiculous stereotype. Just look at the membership here. You'll find men craving emotional intimacy and women more interested in getting laid than in chocolates and cuddling. Well maybe not the chocolates. I actually addressed that with the counselor and she did the "oh yeah yeah of course, but most of the time...." I used the food analogy - We entered this marriage agreeing to share our food with each other and only each other. - For the last ten years she decided to change that agreement and in doing so she is starving me. - So now the plan is for me to continue to starve until I figure out why she won't feed me, fix whatever I am doing wrong, in hopes she will at some point share her food again with me. (Which by the way she can do at any time.) - And all the while I am starving to death.
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Post by sminpa on Oct 12, 2016 6:53:03 GMT -5
She said "I already told you why". I said "remind me" She said "we can talk about it with the counselor" Me "so you made an appointment" Her "not yet, but I will" Me "no you won't you fucking liar". (That one I kept to myself)
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Post by sminpa on Oct 11, 2016 17:14:28 GMT -5
I met with the counselor first then my wife is suppose to go and then we go together.
So I went and basically argued with the women. Should work out well
Best part is now my wife is supposed to call to make an appointment. Don't hold your breath.
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Post by sminpa on Oct 11, 2016 15:39:10 GMT -5
Let me first say I AGREE WITH COUNSELING!
Ok, so how long do you think it took the new counselor to say "so why do you think she doesn't want to have sex with you?"
Let's just say under 8 minutes.
I went in with my ducks in a row and all the amazing info I have received here and sure enough there I was defending why I think my wife should have sex with me.
So I went threw the list I posted here the other day and when I hit "she thinks I'm mean" the proverbially counseling air brakes were slammed and the counselor started "so why do you think she thinks you're mean?" I told her probably because she won't sleep with me and I regularly call her some pretty nasty names under my breath!!!
Well this went on for a while and to make an hour long session short we got to this (almost verbatim)
Counselor- "men and women see love making differently men are more physical and women are more emotional, so maybe if we can address the issues then emotionally she may come around to wanting to hold your hand and be more physical with you in the future"
Me- "so why can't we address my physical needs now and have sex?l
Counselor- "our times up"
Hahahahaha. I wish I could have recorded it.
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Post by sminpa on Oct 9, 2016 22:31:50 GMT -5
Selfishly, I am putting this together for the new counselor I am seeing on Tuesday. (Insurance changed) Inevitably the question will come up "do you have any idea why she may not want to be intimate with you". I want to run down the whole list and then ask if they can fix that? Hahaha
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Post by sminpa on Oct 9, 2016 19:57:40 GMT -5
Hi, has there been a list created of why those being refused feel their refuser is doing it? Yes, I know it's "their deal" not ours but I just want to see if I am completely crazy or if others run threw these same reasons, daily.
Appearance - She doesn't find me attractive - My penis is too small - I've gained too much weight - I've lost too much hair - I don't dress nice enough - She doesn't like my glasses or whatever
Sexual Preference - She love someone else - She is emotionally attached to someone else - She is asexual - She is gay - She hates sex - She hates semen - She thinks sex is gross
Mind Games - "It's because your always angry" - She wants the control - I'm not good enough - Not good enough job - Don't make enough money
Life excuses - Too tired - Don't feel well - Feel gross - Menstrual - "Really?"
What am I missing? Does this sound familiar? Is it wrong I mutter profanities under my breadth quite often.
By the way, last sex was Jan 3 and Oct 27 before that. Good times.....
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