Missingout
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Posts: 191
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on Apr 2, 2024 7:48:42 GMT -5
Wife got so fired up this past Saturday morning (day before Easter)when she woke up that she asked me and my 2 girls to stay at my sister's house for a few days. She was mad at my eldest for leaving spots on the clean dishes from the night before. She feels I should make them listen more and be the bad guy. She also says she doesn't feel appreciated by me or the kids. Parenting and adulting is the most thankless jobs I know of. She told me and the kids to pack a bag so we did. I did not argue in front of the kids and I have not spoken to her in 4 days. My youngest went back home as school resumed today. She is begging me not to leave her in the house alone with her mother. I'm going back to my house after work today and telling her if she is soo unhappy to find a place to stay because I'm not leaving. She is waiting on me to beg her to come back and I'm not begging for anything. I have grown stronger against her strong will and I will not back down. Wish me luck as Im using this as my out.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 2, 2024 8:24:19 GMT -5
I don't think anyone applouds the demise of a marriage and the breakup of a family. In your situation taking some time apart may be in everones best interest. I believe you are right in staying in the home you are paying for along with the children. If she is unhappy with the currnet dynamics with the kids it is her responsibility to find a way to change them. Parenting is hard duty often. Take a look at how she and the kids interact. If the kids are disrespectful you should weigh in on her side.
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Missingout
Full Member
Posts: 191
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on Apr 2, 2024 9:20:04 GMT -5
I don't think anyone appouds the demise of a marriage and the breakup of a family. In your situation taking some time apart may be in everones best interest. I believe you are right in staying in the home you are paying for along with the children. If she is unhappy with the currnet dynamics with the kids it is her responsibility to find a way to change them. Parenting is hard duty often. Take a look at how she and the kids interact. If the kids are disrespectful you should weigh in on her side. They have been disrespectful in the past and weather mom is right or wrong the rule is to not disrespect. And I have informed that. Daughters are 14 and 19. A lot of disrespect built up in there hormones at this point. The younger of the 2 especially. My wife is the heavy hand when it comes to discipline with the girls. We raised a nephew who I was the heavy hand during discipline. However when tasked with sweeping and mopping the younger one does it but it's not up to my wife's standards and is constantly belittling her. I feel the tension when I stopped her from doing it to me she seems to have targeted the kids.
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Post by isthisit on Apr 2, 2024 16:33:51 GMT -5
They have been disrespectful in the past and weather mom is right or wrong the rule is to not disrespect. And I have informed that. Daughters are 14 and 19. A lot of disrespect built up in there hormones at this point. The younger of the 2 especially. My wife is the heavy hand when it comes to discipline with the girls. We raised a nephew who I was the heavy hand during discipline. However when tasked with sweeping and mopping the younger one does it but it's not up to my wife's standards and is constantly belittling her. I feel the tension when I stopped her from doing it to me she seems to have targeted the kids. I agree that when anyone (adult or child) shows disrespect towards another person this needs to be called out. But if your wife wants her children to show her respect, she might want to consider showing some towards them. It’s not okay to purposely belittle anyone. Time away from the offspring may help your wife focus on the fact that it is a privilege of life to have them.
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Missingout
Full Member
Posts: 191
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by Missingout on Apr 6, 2024 7:18:39 GMT -5
They have been disrespectful in the past and weather mom is right or wrong the rule is to not disrespect. And I have informed that. Daughters are 14 and 19. A lot of disrespect built up in there hormones at this point. The younger of the 2 especially. My wife is the heavy hand when it comes to discipline with the girls. We raised a nephew who I was the heavy hand during discipline. However when tasked with sweeping and mopping the younger one does it but it's not up to my wife's standards and is constantly belittling her. I feel the tension when I stopped her from doing it to me she seems to have targeted the kids. I agree that when anyone (adult or child) shows disrespect towards another person this needs to be called out. But if your wife wants her children to show her respect, she might want to consider showing some towards them. It’s not okay to purposely belittle anyone. Time away from the offspring may help your wife focus on the fact that it is a privilege of life to have them. Correct!! They are older and realize what respect is and how and when to give it. I have taught this to them at an early age through sports and other activities. I have returned home so I will not be in the eyes of the court as abandoning my kids or home. Me and wife are talking but it’s still one sided. She says I have not changed as in making the kids listen and examine there chores at hand. I tell her I have always inspected what I expected. Wife claims that cleaning should be a 8 hour process for one room. As she struggles with her time management's. I am not her father to show her how to do so but I do give her tips if asked. She finds yelling and raising her voice is the remedy. I told her if she would not complain so much and to put that much effort and thought into getting things done it would get done faster. She has not initiated once since the talk last summer. She is off and on the estrogen cream but still has discomfort as I have taken an easy on her with more oral and finger play. Not once has she initiated. 2 time in 23 years and 31 years of being together. Always hoped i could do better to make her want me and initiate. I’m such a fool. She is not interested in my feelings and keeps going back to hers. I told her she is not happy and she insists she is. I said she is maybe depressed and she again said she isn’t. I told her I was depressed and she told me I wasn’t😂
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Post by isthisit on Apr 7, 2024 15:25:51 GMT -5
I agree that when anyone (adult or child) shows disrespect towards another person this needs to be called out. But if your wife wants her children to show her respect, she might want to consider showing some towards them. It’s not okay to purposely belittle anyone. Time away from the offspring may help your wife focus on the fact that it is a privilege of life to have them. Correct!! They are older and realize what respect is and how and when to give it. I have taught this to them at an early age through sports and other activities. I have returned home so I will not be in the eyes of the court as abandoning my kids or home. Me and wife are talking but it’s still one sided. She says I have not changed as in making the kids listen and examine there chores at hand. I tell her I have always inspected what I expected. Wife claims that cleaning should be a 8 hour process for one room. As she struggles with her time management's. I am not her father to show her how to do so but I do give her tips if asked. She finds yelling and raising her voice is the remedy. I told her if she would not complain so much and to put that much effort and thought into getting things done it would get done faster. She has not initiated once since the talk last summer. She is off and on the estrogen cream but still has discomfort as I have taken an easy on her with more oral and finger play. Not once has she initiated. 2 time in 23 years and 31 years of being together. Always hoped i could do better to make her want me and initiate. I’m such a fool. She is not interested in my feelings and keeps going back to hers. I told her she is not happy and she insists she is. I said she is maybe depressed and she again said she isn’t. I told her I was depressed and she told me I wasn’t😂 8 hours cleaning time per room? Damn, you could do surgery in Chez Missingout. How are those poor kids ever going to satisfy those standards? Your Mrs sounds dreadful. From your descriptions she is emotionally labile, bullying and controlling. Look after yourself.
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Post by deadzone75 on Apr 7, 2024 16:34:15 GMT -5
I agree that when anyone (adult or child) shows disrespect towards another person this needs to be called out. But if your wife wants her children to show her respect, she might want to consider showing some towards them. It’s not okay to purposely belittle anyone. Time away from the offspring may help your wife focus on the fact that it is a privilege of life to have them. Correct!! They are older and realize what respect is and how and when to give it. I have taught this to them at an early age through sports and other activities. I have returned home so I will not be in the eyes of the court as abandoning my kids or home. Me and wife are talking but it’s still one sided. She says I have not changed as in making the kids listen and examine there chores at hand. I tell her I have always inspected what I expected. Wife claims that cleaning should be a 8 hour process for one room. As she struggles with her time management's. I am not her father to show her how to do so but I do give her tips if asked. She finds yelling and raising her voice is the remedy. I told her if she would not complain so much and to put that much effort and thought into getting things done it would get done faster. She has not initiated once since the talk last summer. She is off and on the estrogen cream but still has discomfort as I have taken an easy on her with more oral and finger play. Not once has she initiated. 2 time in 23 years and 31 years of being together. Always hoped i could do better to make her want me and initiate. I’m such a fool. She is not interested in my feelings and keeps going back to hers. I told her she is not happy and she insists she is. I said she is maybe depressed and she again said she isn’t. I told her I was depressed and she told me I wasn’t😂 Gotta love the outright denial tactic. "We don't have sex." "Yes, we do." "No, we haven't had sex in over a year." "Yes, we have." "I remember where I put my penis, and it hasn't been inside you since the Clinton Administration." "You're wrong. Why are you lying about this and attacking me?"
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m76
Full Member
Posts: 329
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Post by m76 on Apr 7, 2024 16:39:41 GMT -5
Correct!! They are older and realize what respect is and how and when to give it. I have taught this to them at an early age through sports and other activities. I have returned home so I will not be in the eyes of the court as abandoning my kids or home. Me and wife are talking but it’s still one sided. She says I have not changed as in making the kids listen and examine there chores at hand. I tell her I have always inspected what I expected. Wife claims that cleaning should be a 8 hour process for one room. As she struggles with her time management's. I am not her father to show her how to do so but I do give her tips if asked. She finds yelling and raising her voice is the remedy. I told her if she would not complain so much and to put that much effort and thought into getting things done it would get done faster. She has not initiated once since the talk last summer. She is off and on the estrogen cream but still has discomfort as I have taken an easy on her with more oral and finger play. Not once has she initiated. 2 time in 23 years and 31 years of being together. Always hoped i could do better to make her want me and initiate. I’m such a fool. She is not interested in my feelings and keeps going back to hers. I told her she is not happy and she insists she is. I said she is maybe depressed and she again said she isn’t. I told her I was depressed and she told me I wasn’t😂 Gotta love the outright denial tactic. "We don't have sex." "Yes, we do." "No, we haven't had sex in over a year." "Yes, we have." "I remember where I put my penis, and it hasn't been inside you since the Clinton Administration." "You're wrong. Why are you lying about this and attacking me?" Gaslighting... I haven't experienced it to that extreme but when we were having infreqent sex if I said it's been months she definitely had the perception that we had "just" had sex. Now it's the same for cuddles. And reaching over to pat my leg counts as putting in effort.
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Post by worksforme2 on Apr 7, 2024 18:29:21 GMT -5
Gotta love the outright denial tactic. "We don't have sex." "Yes, we do." "No, we haven't had sex in over a year." "Yes, we have." "I remember where I put my penis, and it hasn't been inside you since the Clinton Administration." "You're wrong. Why are you lying about this and attacking me?" Gaslighting When I tried to initiate my X would say "we just had sex". So I finally showed her a calandar listing date and type of sex for the last year. Seeing the calandar she got very quiet and soon found someplace else ro be.
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Post by csl on Apr 8, 2024 7:03:21 GMT -5
8 hours cleaning time per room? Damn, you could do surgery in Chez Missingout. How are those poor kids ever going to satisfy those standards? Your Mrs sounds dreadful. From your descriptions she is emotionally labile, bullying and controlling. Look after yourself. Oooo, a new word! Labile - changeable, unstable. Thank you.
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