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Post by rdp62 on Mar 4, 2020 15:13:07 GMT -5
I have been thinking that missing sex can be a mask for missing intimacy. I think much easier it live without sex than intimacy a relationship can survive without sex but not without emotional intimacy
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Post by Apocrypha on Mar 4, 2020 16:07:06 GMT -5
Sex is, or can be, a channel in which to express intimacy. I don't really see this as an either/or - at least in the context of an invested relationship.
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Post by rdp62 on Mar 4, 2020 16:17:43 GMT -5
Sex is, or can be, a channel in which to express intimacy. I don't really see this as an either/or - at least in the context of an invested relationship. Hi why I added an equal option
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Post by bozodeclowne on Mar 4, 2020 16:34:31 GMT -5
Had you asked me in my 30s, I'd have said sex, no question. 20 years later, and we're now at a point where there is no affection whatsoever, at least coming from my wife. Lower testosterone means my drive is reduced a bit, but it is still there and my mind is often preoccupied with sexual thoughts. I now realize that sex was often a conduit to intimacy in our relationship. Some of our closest times were lying together in bed after the fact, just talking and relaxing with no outside distractions. It is one of the few times you can be close together without children, jobs and life pulling you apart.
One of the things I struggle with most is the loss of intimacy. A couple of years ago a waitress stroked my arm, as they often do when angling for a decent tip. I just about jumped out of my chair, and everyone (except me) thought that was hilarious. She hadn't snuck up on me or anything, but I was shocked. It had been that long since I felt a woman's touch. I'm not some hermit living in the wilderness. I'm a typical married guy with a family.
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Post by Handy on Mar 4, 2020 23:00:41 GMT -5
Bozo, said A couple of years ago a waitress stroked my arm, I had a similar experience, but it was a woman my age I knew. What a pleasant feeling. Another woman my age is a huger, again such a nice feeling. The down side is, I could sense they didn't want more.
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Post by h on Mar 5, 2020 5:44:13 GMT -5
I can't handle intimacy without sex. I don't want to share experiences or feel close with my W in the absence of sex. All the rest feels great in addition to a sex life, but without the sex, it usually makes me feel worse. It makes me more acutely angry and frustrated, reminding me of what's missing.
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Post by workingonit on Mar 5, 2020 20:29:49 GMT -5
I can't handle intimacy without sex. I don't want to share experiences or feel close with my W in the absence of sex. All the rest feels great in addition to a sex life, but without the sex, it usually makes me feel worse. It makes me more acutely angry and frustrated, reminding me of what's missing. This is an excellent point.
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Post by carl on Mar 6, 2020 1:11:20 GMT -5
I miss sex like mad, but ultimately I miss just talking romantically even more. I think that intimacy without sex is crucial. Equating intimacy with sex is a big barrier to any relationship. A partner who’s after sex every time they become intimate comes across like an animal. (What a lovely thought). But seriously coming on strong sexually MORE than emotionally - Even I would be turned off. I think.......
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Post by michael on Mar 6, 2020 7:21:49 GMT -5
This thread literally made me cry. Is it wrong for a man to cry over this?
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Post by rdp62 on Mar 6, 2020 7:22:33 GMT -5
Interesting no votes for missing sex more on a sexless support site.
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Post by h on Mar 6, 2020 7:50:07 GMT -5
This thread literally made me cry. Is it wrong for a man to cry over this? No. I did too brother.
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