How many of us feel replaced by a smartphone or tablet? What other personal relationships have suffered because of device overuse, be it your own usage or someone else's?
It's a more attractive prospect to blame the device, or the porn, or the TV, or the affair partner or the game, or the kids, because it frames the problem as an "obsession" that is overriding what must be a clear priority -you - like a crack addict buying drugs instead of food. Then you can be on the same "side" and you can still feel that you are important to your wayward partner. If not for the device, you'd have a great life.
The harder way, though, is to recognize that what's happening is an accurate reading of YOUR priority, and that the phone, the porn, the TV, the affair partner, the game or kids is their way of surviving a relationship in which they are entwined but not invested. Take one away, and it gets replaced with a different distraction.
Post by angeleyes65 on Sept 25, 2019 9:10:41 GMT -5
Sad thing is we both became addicted to smart devices for avoidance of our now ex's and it was how we communicated during the affair. Old habits die hard. We have to remind ourselves and each other to put our gadgets down sometimes. As far as my ex I did feel replaced by his computer both for games and porn but after awhile it provided me with the freedom to find an ap and keep in contact so...
Post by lessingham on Sept 25, 2019 10:49:37 GMT -5
Maybe devices are a symptom not a cause. Paul Simon was singing about the dangling conversation back in the 60s. People retreat behind phones or books or newspapers for reasons. And men watch porn for many reasons too.
Post by ironhamster on Sept 25, 2019 20:09:28 GMT -5
I grew up in a household with busy active parents, so having a spouse that was wrapped up in thought staring at a screen was no big deal within itself. I do think it was just one symptom of a much bigger problem, though. My ex was into her Facebook and her network marketing business done on the internet. I suspect the latter netted her about fifty cents an hour, which, to be generous, is more than most people make on their hobbies.
It seems ironic that I am sitting in an airport reading this thread on my smartphone.
I think the mobile devices are just can evolutionary upgrade from books and magazines and TV. It is easier to avoid difficult conversations then to engage. The advantage of mobile devices is that we can also interact with others online. Our avoidance is no longer a solitary endeavor.
"I believe everything happens for a reason, sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions." Greeneyedlady72
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
misssunnybunny: Thanks for the update; just hope she is happy
Sept 17, 2019 19:49:55 GMT -5
workingonit: Elkclan2 my son's gerbil escaped at the same time as his pet snake. I did not think it was a coincidence!
Sept 17, 2019 20:40:26 GMT -5
hopingforachange: Wow, is been forever since I read the shoutbox.
Sept 17, 2019 21:33:01 GMT -5
hopingforachange: I need to set up another Skype session.
Sept 17, 2019 21:33:16 GMT -5
sme935: Not quite sure if anyone reads it but if there is a female in the Chicago area (40-60 years old) who is interested in chatting with me drop me a message or look at my profile for messenger screenname;
Sept 19, 2019 9:09:33 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Another Skype session would be great!
Sept 21, 2019 10:51:02 GMT -5
elkclan2: Gerbil was recaptured unharmed. Turns out my cat is good at opening gerbil cages, but not good at catching gerbils.
Sept 27, 2019 8:10:33 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Yay! Glad to hear the critter is okay.
Sept 28, 2019 20:44:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: elkclan2....don't feed cat for a couple days, cat will become very proficient at catching gerbil
Sept 29, 2019 14:15:01 GMT -5
javba: Hi folks been gone a minute [several minutes actually] What is the skype we're referencing?
Oct 1, 2019 8:55:44 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: javba, once in a while someone sets up a group Skype chat, so we can see each other and chat. I have a Skype account with my user name from here for them. One hasn't happened in a long time...
Oct 6, 2019 9:55:29 GMT -5
wewbwb: I'm pretty sure that it was seeing my ass.
Oct 6, 2019 15:21:29 GMT -5
petrushka: you breed donkeys?
Oct 10, 2019 6:05:03 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday shamwow….
Oct 11, 2019 9:02:53 GMT -5
worksforme2: I knew it was going to happen..the seasons here have jumped from summer to almost winter..months of hot, dry days and nights then a week later it is rain and temps in the low 40's at night...there goes my regressing effort this year
Oct 17, 2019 7:24:46 GMT -5
worksforme2: whoops..I meant re-grassing...I don't need to do any regressing...
Oct 17, 2019 11:39:34 GMT -5
donp: Help, No sex for 1 year. I think I have lost my mind.
Oct 17, 2019 13:21:05 GMT -5
javba: Agree donp - why would you NOT lose your mind, Rub one out - it helps for about 12 hours :-)
Oct 17, 2019 14:06:18 GMT -5
worksforme2: donp,...you think you have lost your mind... so you aren't positive... think about it some more and then let us know what you decide...
Oct 17, 2019 14:22:10 GMT -5
RealMustangGuy: Hello all, just sending out a message to anyone that I used to be friends with back in the days of EP. I haven't been on here since 2016. Mostly because I seem to have great difficulty understanding how to work things on this site.
Oct 21, 2019 9:37:54 GMT -5