Yes, I’m still standing, like Sir Elton says. I’m going to add another song that helped me to keep standing.
If I ever get the chance to meet Don Henley, I will personally thank him for writing this song. When it first came out during the Eagles’ hiatus, I just gotten out of an intense relationship, and my heart was broken. It was my first really serious relationship. What made it worse was my ex gf was a good friend before we dated. And no, sex was not a problem in this relationship. I heard this song, and it helped put the relationship into perspective. I called her, and we talked. We agreed to be friends again. When we talked about the boyfriend-girlfriend part, both of us had the same phrase - “Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.”
It was in the past, where it belonged. I even set her up with one of my friends. When my wife needed a medieval dress for a concert, I knew my ex gf made medieval outfits. She had a dress for my wife and even altered it for her. We’re not close anymore, but we do exchange messages on social media. I did talk to my wife about the ex gf. I told her that if you appreciate me as a husband, you owe that woman some thanks.
I listen to this song now, and think of my late wife. She was a parasite to me before she died. After her death, she became a saint. Now I can look back on our time together more realistically. She was somewhere in between. It was a little more than “been there, done that, got the T-shirt” with my wife. But listening to to this song helps. Lose the resentment. Forgive. And take whatever good that was there and the lessons learned to your next relationship.
Last Edit: Sept 8, 2019 22:00:52 GMT -5 by obobfla
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
solodriver: Thanks warmways
Oct 30, 2019 23:36:15 GMT -5
RealMustangGuy: When using a member's username in a post, how does one get it to be in different color and work as a link? I can type in the name but after posting it doesn't look the same as when others use member's usernames in their posts.
Nov 2, 2019 11:37:25 GMT -5
bfar: Just stumbled on this article:https://masculinebydesign.com/sexless-marriage-is-symptomatic-of-emasculated-husbands/ was more than a little disconcerting. Are we digging ourselves further in the hole by trying to be all enlightened and sensitive?
Nov 3, 2019 13:46:42 GMT -5
petrushka: Mate, what's the alternative to all enlightened and sensitive here? Rape? Coercion? Sexual assault? Thanks, but I can do better than being a complete arsehole (or psychopath for that matter).
Nov 3, 2019 21:11:53 GMT -5
bfar: Petrushka... I'm just wondering if we shot ourselves in the foot, as it were, by giving giving up on our strength, and giving in to the feminist agenda of making men irrelevant.
Nov 5, 2019 11:30:21 GMT -5
petrushka: Sorry, I don't buy into that at all. I'm not giving up anything. I've been into the "feminist agenda" for nearly 60 years. Having an empowered partner empowers me. I want strong women around me who take responsibility for themselves and who can face me
Nov 5, 2019 17:20:16 GMT -5
petrushka: I see 'strong men', and controlling bullies, as basically weak, lacking confidence and self esteem -- hence they think they need to assert themselves that way. I loathe patriarchy as much as matriarchy. Partners should be equals.
Nov 5, 2019 17:24:43 GMT -5
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5