I read an affair forum for a while and the women got found out less often than the men.
Reading between the lines, wives are more suspicious than husbands, most of the time, women cheaters had better cover stories and GF to back up the affair cover up, and female cheaters didn't spend as much time figuring out where to meet. Most of the male partners paid for a majority of the affair time expenses.
If a spouse is a refuser, it is easy to outsource and not get caught. Your refuser is usually not tuned into your emotional state anyway, so the signs that would be obvious to a normal spouse would be missed by a refuser. Then just have a way to pay expenses that are not traceable, and an untraceable way to communicate, and it can happen.
Post by worksforme2 on Aug 26, 2019 17:22:41 GMT -5
I would think that most wives are highly tuned into the marriage finances. Many husbands turn most of the shopping and bill paying to their wives. It would seem that if one is going to outsource then close attention must be paid to how it's financed. And little things could trip give you away. I confirmed my 1st X's infidelity following our separation when cleaning out old phone and credit card statements. We saved everything because we usually itemized our taxes. As I disposed of really old stuff I looked through the new statements. There I found phone calls to out of state motels and charges on the credit card for restaurants and gas stations in those areas. And my mom and sister confirmed they had the children on those weekends.
Post by twotimesone on Sept 9, 2019 15:59:27 GMT -5
I wrote up a thread some time ago about "Women's Infidelity, living in limbo." and a few women here didn't have exactly have a positive response about what I said. I think alot of women get away with it because many men trust their wives but not the other way around. Personally, for me, I don't fully trust my W.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
solodriver: Thanks warmways
Oct 30, 2019 23:36:15 GMT -5
RealMustangGuy: When using a member's username in a post, how does one get it to be in different color and work as a link? I can type in the name but after posting it doesn't look the same as when others use member's usernames in their posts.
Nov 2, 2019 11:37:25 GMT -5
bfar: Just stumbled on this article:https://masculinebydesign.com/sexless-marriage-is-symptomatic-of-emasculated-husbands/ was more than a little disconcerting. Are we digging ourselves further in the hole by trying to be all enlightened and sensitive?
Nov 3, 2019 13:46:42 GMT -5
petrushka: Mate, what's the alternative to all enlightened and sensitive here? Rape? Coercion? Sexual assault? Thanks, but I can do better than being a complete arsehole (or psychopath for that matter).
Nov 3, 2019 21:11:53 GMT -5
bfar: Petrushka... I'm just wondering if we shot ourselves in the foot, as it were, by giving giving up on our strength, and giving in to the feminist agenda of making men irrelevant.
Nov 5, 2019 11:30:21 GMT -5
petrushka: Sorry, I don't buy into that at all. I'm not giving up anything. I've been into the "feminist agenda" for nearly 60 years. Having an empowered partner empowers me. I want strong women around me who take responsibility for themselves and who can face me
Nov 5, 2019 17:20:16 GMT -5
petrushka: I see 'strong men', and controlling bullies, as basically weak, lacking confidence and self esteem -- hence they think they need to assert themselves that way. I loathe patriarchy as much as matriarchy. Partners should be equals.
Nov 5, 2019 17:24:43 GMT -5
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5