Good reading - definitely makes me think about how little 'fun' my husband is. We have never 'had a laugh' and life is so serious for him. He has to 'earn' rest or downtime, through exercising or working hard. He isn't allowed fun for fun's sake. I thought his serious side was good husband/partner material but 20yrs + down the line I realise it is just plain dull! I thought he had a great sense of humour as he was always so smiley and laughing loudly. 20yrs+ and I realise that that is just a front for nervousness and a desire to fit in. He laughs inappropriately all the time. It's a learnt response from childhood - if I smile and chuckle everything will be OK, people will like me, Dad will stop smacking me. It is not real but it took me a long time to spot it. Now his booming laughter just irritates the hell out of me, especially if he is on the phone when he sounds like the funnest guy around, call ends, phone goes down and it is back to Mr Serious. All a facade.
Part 1 had me thinking, finding the right partner was next to impossible to find and determine. It might take dating 100 people because there were many examples of decent future partners but not really good long term partners without serious compromises.
Part 2 with its "Traffic Test" looked more promising. I then wondered how well I passed the "Traffic Test."
A Traffic Test-passing friendship entails:
A great sense of humor click. No one wants to spend 50 years fake laughing. Fun. And the ability to extract fun out of unfun situations—airport delays, long drives, errands. Not surprisingly, studies suggest that the amount of fun a couple has is a strong predictor for their future.6 A respect for each other’s brains and way of thinking. A life partner doubles as a career/life therapist, and if you don’t respect the way someone thinks, you’re not going to want to tell them your thoughts on work each day, or on anything else interesting that pops into your head, because you won’t really care that much what they have to say about it. A decent number of common interests, activities, and people-preferences. Otherwise a lot of what makes you ‘you’ will inevitably become a much smaller part of your life, and you and your life partner will struggle to find enjoyable ways to spend a free Saturday together.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
saarinista: is anyone else watching March Madness?
Mar 24, 2019 11:44:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: doesn't much look like it...
Mar 27, 2019 12:20:10 GMT -5
saarinista: Well, my team is going to the Final Four! I am beyond thrilled. Basketball is life.
Apr 1, 2019 0:47:14 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Congrats! Yay! I don't know how many people see the shout box, I don't think it shows up not he mobile version of the site. Maybe post something in the Off Topic section and more folks may see it?
Apr 1, 2019 15:38:34 GMT -5
wewbwb: Or, maybe baseball season started . . .
Apr 2, 2019 5:27:34 GMT -5
flashjohn: saarinista, my alma mater, Texas Tech, is also in the final four.
Apr 3, 2019 14:59:01 GMT -5
saarinista: : flashjohn Ruh, roh. Then we have to be mortal enemies for the weekend because I went to MSU!
Apr 4, 2019 16:09:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: The add attachment says a max of 1mb...I see plenty of videos that are way longer than that...how do I do that? My video is 4.97 mbs
Apr 25, 2019 20:10:25 GMT -5
h: The videos posted aren't attached. They are links to videos outside the site.
Apr 26, 2019 14:09:04 GMT -5
sexlessinga: Hi guys just joined
May 10, 2019 20:49:28 GMT -5
worksforme2: @mslowmaintenance….long time no see, welcome back...
May 29, 2019 9:30:25 GMT -5
noregretz: You can never outrun a Grizzly bear, but that's ok. You only have to outrun the person you're with....
Jun 15, 2019 12:28:09 GMT -5
solodriver: or in this case your refuser.
Jun 16, 2019 19:21:47 GMT -5