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Post by MarianCali on Jun 19, 2019 17:49:59 GMT -5
Let’s be honest. A few months ago I had one foot out the door and was mentally preparing to leave in a couple years. I was no longer in love with my H and completely unattracted to him. I guess NO SEX for 4 years and sexless for almost 15 could do that. I had so much resentment (still trying handle this) and was always annoyed when he was around. I was distancing myself physically and emotionally. Over the past few months it has slowly been changing. I am now starting to see him in another light. He now is starting to appeal to me again. We’re being physical and open emotionally. I’m not completely there yet but I’m not completely turned off when he tries to hug or kiss me. I used to sigh or turn my head the rare times he would go in for a kiss. Everyday isn’t rosy but most days are so much better than they were. I’m looking forward to our future together and can see a better and happy future if we can continue in this upward trend. Were still in therapy both individual and couples and it has helped. We both are trying to overcome our individual issues but are compromising for each other. We have to learn to trust each other again as we were both hurt in different ways. I’m exploring why I stayed miserable for so long and how the neglect affected me with my therapist. There were many reasons I could think of but at this point I’m glad I didn’t give up as were having fun rediscovering the new us, albeit with lots of baggage but were confident that we aren’t giving up and trying our hardest. I wouldn’t recommend the way our turn around came about as I don’t think most could take it but for some reason it has saved our marriage, at least for now. When I look back at my previous posts or comments and see how we are now we have come a long way and are putting in the work to reclaim our love and marriage. Thank you to everyone in this forum who let me vent and helped me cope as my life would’ve been even more miserable without everyone’s advice, stories and comments.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Jun 19, 2019 19:59:27 GMT -5
Great to hear from you, and thanks for the update! May things continue to improve and go in a positive direction!
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muzack
Junior Member
Posts: 75
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Post by muzack on Jun 19, 2019 22:16:52 GMT -5
These are the updates I am happiest to read. May your relationship keep getting better.
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larry101
Junior Member
Posts: 45
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by larry101 on Jun 24, 2019 14:38:46 GMT -5
Great to hear you're turning things around! I too had one foot out the door. My wife and I have made significant progress saving our marriage. Hopefully both our marriages will Continue the new course.
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okiedude
Junior Member
Learning to live with my Situation.
Posts: 87
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by okiedude on Jun 24, 2019 19:30:35 GMT -5
This is great. I love the stories about working it out... It gives me hope. Was the counseling the turning point. What was the trigger if you can pick it out. I know it takes hard work but the idea that something clicked interests me.
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Post by MarianCali on Jul 1, 2019 13:12:35 GMT -5
This is great. I love the stories about working it out... It gives me hope. Was the counseling the turning point. What was the trigger if you can pick it out. I know it takes hard work but the idea that something clicked interests me. Funny I've used that word "Hope" many times during our process. Through the misery I always hoped it would get better. Now it is better and I hope we will be happy with each other. The therapy definitely helps but I think the shift happened when he finally realized I was really done. I was prepping to leave and struggling with the idea greatly. It is now a struggle to switch it off and think this will work but I'm optimistic. Actions are easy to do its the feelings that are difficult to change. We have hard days in but they have become less over time. We still go to therapy and are working on our communications and attitude towards each other. It's hard to change but I hope it will be worth it in the end. I've told him if it reverts back I can't do it anymore.
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Post by hopingforachange on Jul 1, 2019 15:44:09 GMT -5
This is great. I love the stories about working it out... It gives me hope. Was the counseling the turning point. What was the trigger if you can pick it out. I know it takes hard work but the idea that something clicked interests me. Funny I've used that word "Hope" many times during our process. Through the misery I always hoped it would get better. Now it is better and I hope we will be happy with each other. The therapy definitely helps but I think the shift happened when he finally realized I was really done. I was prepping to leave and struggling with the idea greatly. It is now a struggle to switch it off and think this will work but I'm optimistic. Actions are easy to do its the feelings that are difficult to change. We have hard days in but they have become less over time. We still go to therapy and are working on our communications and attitude towards each other. It's hard to change but I hope it will be worth it in the end. I've told him if it reverts back I can't do it anymore. You were hoping for a change. 😁
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Jul 3, 2019 12:44:48 GMT -5
So he changed or committed to change? Thats what triggered your turning point? This is great. I love the stories about working it out... It gives me hope. Was the counseling the turning point. What was the trigger if you can pick it out. I know it takes hard work but the idea that something clicked interests me. Funny I've used that word "Hope" many times during our process. Through the misery I always hoped it would get better. Now it is better and I hope we will be happy with each other. The therapy definitely helps but I think the shift happened when he finally realized I was really done. I was prepping to leave and struggling with the idea greatly. It is now a struggle to switch it off and think this will work but I'm optimistic. Actions are easy to do its the feelings that are difficult to change. We have hard days in but they have become less over time. We still go to therapy and are working on our communications and attitude towards each other. It's hard to change but I hope it will be worth it in the end. I've told him if it reverts back I can't do it anymore.
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Post by MarianCali on Jul 3, 2019 17:37:54 GMT -5
So he changed or committed to change? Thats what triggered your turning point? Funny I've used that word "Hope" many times during our process. Through the misery I always hoped it would get better. Now it is better and I hope we will be happy with each other. The therapy definitely helps but I think the shift happened when he finally realized I was really done. I was prepping to leave and struggling with the idea greatly. It is now a struggle to switch it off and think this will work but I'm optimistic. Actions are easy to do its the feelings that are difficult to change. We have hard days in but they have become less over time. We still go to therapy and are working on our communications and attitude towards each other. It's hard to change but I hope it will be worth it in the end. I've told him if it reverts back I can't do it anymore. Yes, he is more present now. He has made physical and psychological changes. Before I would tell him the issues and it was in one ear out the other with no action. Now when he is slacking he corrects himself. He says he likes the new him. We've talked and spent more time together recently than we have in a long time. We still have spats but not like before. Our house is alot calmer. He has started eating healthier, exercising (lost 401lbs) and caring about his appearance and health more. He always was handsome but never gave a shit and it showed. We actually like to go to the gym together now. I even had him try out yoga.
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Jul 4, 2019 3:13:38 GMT -5
This is a great update. I wish you continued success. Hope you keep us posted on further developments.
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