If you take turns in being the refuser then it sounds like you both use sex as tool to get/manipulate/control/punish the other. 50/50 responsibility. If one of you would step up and be the bigger person and say I will no longer be a refuser then the other is the one taking on 100% of the responsibility. I am sure many times when you fight about it the other will use "You do it too" as an argument. You gotta start by cleaning up your side of the street.
Glad to have found this forum. Hubby and I take turns being the refuser. I don't know what to do to change things.
You may not be a " refuser", instead you may be an " avoider". Several of us 'swept it under the rug, pretended it would get better with time, blamed ourselves,-our attractiveness,- caved, gave in, and convinced ourselves that we could do without it, and questioned the importance of it". Later realizing that things will not get better and that you can not take a band aid approach to a gunshot wound.
Please feel free to share an example or two and receive more feedback and helpful thoughts and advice.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
saarinista: is anyone else watching March Madness?
Mar 24, 2019 11:44:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: doesn't much look like it...
Mar 27, 2019 12:20:10 GMT -5
saarinista: Well, my team is going to the Final Four! I am beyond thrilled. Basketball is life.
Apr 1, 2019 0:47:14 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Congrats! Yay! I don't know how many people see the shout box, I don't think it shows up not he mobile version of the site. Maybe post something in the Off Topic section and more folks may see it?
Apr 1, 2019 15:38:34 GMT -5
wewbwb: Or, maybe baseball season started . . .
Apr 2, 2019 5:27:34 GMT -5
flashjohn: saarinista, my alma mater, Texas Tech, is also in the final four.
Apr 3, 2019 14:59:01 GMT -5
saarinista: : flashjohn Ruh, roh. Then we have to be mortal enemies for the weekend because I went to MSU!
Apr 4, 2019 16:09:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: The add attachment says a max of 1mb...I see plenty of videos that are way longer than that...how do I do that? My video is 4.97 mbs
Apr 25, 2019 20:10:25 GMT -5
h: The videos posted aren't attached. They are links to videos outside the site.
Apr 26, 2019 14:09:04 GMT -5
sexlessinga: Hi guys just joined
May 10, 2019 20:49:28 GMT -5
worksforme2: @mslowmaintenance….long time no see, welcome back...
May 29, 2019 9:30:25 GMT -5
noregretz: You can never outrun a Grizzly bear, but that's ok. You only have to outrun the person you're with....
Jun 15, 2019 12:28:09 GMT -5
solodriver: or in this case your refuser.
Jun 16, 2019 19:21:47 GMT -5