Post by northstarmom on May 20, 2019 14:24:47 GMT -5
When taking an exercise class, come early. Often it’s easy to engage in conversation with others who are waiting.
Go to open houses, retreats, boot camps. There’s camaraderie that develops with such experiences.
I notice that my gym is having a social this week for those who are in its silver sneakers program for seniors who get gym membership with their health insurance. If I were not leaving the area next month, I’d go to the social because it would be a great way to start developing more friendships and workout buddies. Consider asking your gym to host socials.
I am thinking, the days I don't give a ride to others, I need to go to the gym early. I was expecting people to be more social after class. Maybe they are more social before class.
I notice a couple of women pre class have a lot to talk about. One recently new woman I did start to talk to and made a few positive comments about her abilities in class. She looked happy that I was interacting with her. Her H was one of my office supplies customer.
Post by northstarmom on May 20, 2019 16:36:20 GMT -5
Also work in conversations that the woman you give a ride to is your neighbor so people don't think that woman is your romantic partner. Do this even with people who aren't usually in the class where you're with the neighbor. You never know when a possibility may go to a different class.
I have told just about everyone that W2 is a neighbor, that I worked with her son for 10 years and I used to visit with her H before he died.
Some people have assumed we were married and asked where my W was. I gave the above story (neighbor-friend) and added my W rarely leaves the house so I invite W1 or anyone else that needs a ride, that is going where I go.
I had 3 different people go along with me to two different places tonight. The people all live with in 1/3 to 3/4 mile of me and it makes sense to ride share.
Post by northstarmom on May 20, 2019 23:05:49 GMT -5
handy if you really want to have an affair, you need to go places alone and not rideshare. The very obvious reason for this is that you wouldn't be able to flirt, etc., or even spend time having a drink or otherwise getting to know new people after an event. If you want, however, to be everyone's helper while remaining sexless, keep on keeping on. I suspect that you've figured this out already, but would prefer the status quo to having an affair or ending your marriage so you could be free to find someone who loved you back the way you love them.
I think H said he didn't have very many friends. My imediat goal was to increase my interactions with friends and and be open to a bit more if that ever was an additional option.
The gym I go to has has activities and the average age of the people that attend most activities is maybe late 20's to early-mid 40's. The meet-up groups I have attended in the past seem to be 50's to early 60's. I probably should go back and attend the sustainable community lectures, and go early instead of hoping to talk with people after the main lecture while they eat a few crackers, cheese and sip wine.
Post by northstarmom on May 20, 2019 23:43:30 GMT -5
"The gym I go to has has activities and the average age of the people that attend most activities is maybe late 20's to early-mid 40's. The meet-up groups I have attended in the past seem to be 50's to early 60's. I probably should go back and attend the sustainable community lectures, and go early instead of hoping to talk with people after the main lecture while they eat a few crackers, cheese and sip wine."
I am 67 and usually see decades younger people when I go to the gym late afternoons and during evenings.
However, if I go between 9-11, there are plenty of folks my age because that's when the senior classes are. I assume that active seniors like to exercise about that time while younger people who are students or who are working go to the gym later.
Our yoga class, before noon is 60+ I would say. A few older guys come and use the "Life Fitness" machines and I talk with a very few of the men after yoga class. The older women seem to not to want to say much so I do not push the issue. There are a few older people in bad condition but they usually are with a trainer so I steer clear of interrupting those people. I notice that most of the women are on the treadmills or the elliptical machines, listening to the on-board TV or their own music.
I know Zumba and step aerobics attracts more athletic women, but I tried it and feel like I have 3 left feet. I tried the 6AM self-massage class using a lacrosse ball. All 3 of showed up that time.
I have been to the gym in the afternoon and like you said, the crowd is younger then. A few days ago I went after lunch and there were only 2 other young people in the building. Other times the place is very busy. I went to a few after 5PM activities but most of those people were young singles or people that had to get home after their sessions.
I do meet some interesting people on bike rides but it doesn't happen very often. I do the bike rides to stay in shape, so that is the important thing. Meeting someone interesting is a plus. Once I talked with a 30 yr old woman. Her 4 year old was born with I think a 2 chamber heart, and of course lots of surgeries. The 4 yr old was pedaling a tricycle and when he got tired, mom had a bike trailer to transport him. The closest bike-walking trail is 8ft wide concrete so it is easy sailing.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
petrushka: In my world view, you are buying into some really shitty memes there.
Nov 5, 2019 17:25:20 GMT -5
apocrypha: The "feminist agenda" has changed across the past 60 years. Some feminists of the 60's call the current iteration "fainting couch feminism", thinking it a subversion and betrayal of women's lib. Hard to get a bead on what folks think, using a broad label.
Nov 8, 2019 9:37:14 GMT -5
apocrypha: No aspect of that article (which I amount to a magazine offering bad diet advice) promotes rape, coercion (beyond seduction), sexual assault, and I don't understand your public performance suggesting that they would be and thus implicating bfar.
Nov 8, 2019 9:41:51 GMT -5
mirrororchid: pfar, being sensitive means understanding how others think and feel. It doesn't mean you are compelled to adopt their thoughts and feelings. This is a matter of understanding people including loved ones. If you aren't sensitive, you lack tools to
Nov 11, 2019 8:09:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: live well. You need not soften, but you should be able to understand vulnerability. Recognizing others' distress provides me with cues when I need to use self-control or extend help. If you're strong, you should be helping others. Use what works.
Nov 11, 2019 8:14:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: You know who I miss ...I miss smartkat and andie..and snowman 12345
Nov 14, 2019 9:16:44 GMT -5