jessie83
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Posts: 35
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Post by jessie83 on Mar 30, 2019 7:14:36 GMT -5
After last night's train wreck I'm feeling exhausted. I came into the living room to sleep on the couch. That's a joke sleep was and still is nowhere to be found. All night laying in the dark thinking the most awful things. When the sunlight came through the window I thought to myself at least the sun is CUMMING. I feel like if I dropped off the earth nobody would even notice at this point. I am to the point where I fi d myself looking at couples everywhere I go and wondering are they fucking? Or I bet that man fucks his wife. It's so fucking depressing. What a shit night.
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Post by h on Mar 30, 2019 7:26:21 GMT -5
I know the cliche "It's always darkest before the dawn" probably won't make you feel better right now. Your situation will only get better when you decide to improve it. That can only happen if you truly understand the full reality of your situation. Knowing the truth is often painful. The trick is to use that pain to motivate yourself into action. Feel the pain but don't let it paralyze you.
And vent here whenever you need to.
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Post by lessingham on Mar 30, 2019 9:02:27 GMT -5
Been there, done that of looking at other couples and wondering who the sexed up pairs are. It's like hitting a bruise and only reinforces the pain.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Mar 30, 2019 12:18:17 GMT -5
This site will help but you really need counseling and possibly done natural or prescription antideppressant medicine and I in no way mean that in a critical way. I found calm got it on Amazon used at night to sleep it has gaba for depression and magnesium and melatonin for sleep. It helped me sleep and leveled my moods out.
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Post by worksforme2 on Mar 30, 2019 13:31:43 GMT -5
I never looked at other couples and wondered about their sex life. It didn't matter to me. What I was concerned about was my sex life. I still feel that way. Being envious of other wasn't in me. I put my thoughts toward achieving in my life what they might have in theirs. Don't feel like you are not enough woman to satisfy a man. I have always been long winded when it comes to sex and generally it took a variety of positions and activities before I would ejaculate, usually taking around 45 minutes or so. And it wasn't at all unusual for me to go for an hour or longer and still not cum. Just the way it is no matter who I was with over the years. But when I failed to ejaculate I still made sure to cuddle, kiss and have a wind down period of closeness with my partner. I wanted that after sex closeness. And I had some women express worry that they hadn't satisfied me, so I had to reassure them they had. The problem (if you look at lasting an hour as a problem) was with me, not them. You are obviously very attractive. And I'm betting you are quite frisky between the sheets. Clearly you like variety so vanilla sex isn't the issue. A woman who likes oral. PIV and anal has a lot going for her. You just aren't with someone who appreciates what you are bringing to the table.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Mar 30, 2019 13:42:49 GMT -5
I agree with worksforme2 taking an hour is not a problem and possibly not getting there isn't a problem in itself. But face it it sounds like there is a lot more going on or not going on to make you feel this bad. My bf warned me up front it takes him awhile it was an issue for his refusing wife. Not for me. I like sex just gave me more pleasure and time for more orgasms. But your issues are way beyond his inability to finish and not your problem start chanting not my circus not my monkeys in your head before you make yourself crazy!
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Post by ngreenwood57 on Mar 30, 2019 13:59:57 GMT -5
Jesse83, I hope you have a day to yourself. Get out, smile at people, most will smile back helping to bring some feel-good back into your life.
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Post by misssunnybunny on Mar 30, 2019 14:27:10 GMT -5
After last night's train wreck I'm feeling exhausted. I came into the living room to sleep on the couch. That's a joke sleep was and still is nowhere to be found. All night laying in the dark thinking the most awful things. When the sunlight came through the window I thought to myself at least the sun is CUMMING. I feel like if I dropped off the earth nobody would even notice at this point. I am to the point where I fi d myself looking at couples everywhere I go and wondering are they fucking? Or I bet that man fucks his wife. It's so fucking depressing. What a shit night. been there myself (hell, I still have my moments!). Please seek help if you feel this awful. We have a great thread of helpful information in the Resources section: iliasm.org/thread/2303/mental-health-care-safety-netIt is a shitty place to be, mired in these negative feelings, but it will get better
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Post by smith227 on Mar 30, 2019 16:46:19 GMT -5
I totally understand your frustration, and sincerely hope things get better for you. I’ve been where you are in your headspace right now. A lot of us here have, any you’re why chasing by blaming yourself. Is he not attracted to you anymore? Maybe. I’m certain my husband is so deeply closeted gay that he chooses to be asexual. Does being gay or asexual make him a shitty person? No. What makes him a shitty person is tricking someone into thinking he’s not long enough to commit then pulling a 180. The way you feel is horrible and you can’t simply turn it off. From what you’ve written it seems like a 180 has been pulled on you, but a very wise person on here once told me this when I was so damn angry and cahsing why after why. He is showing you who he is. Believe him. The rest is up to you.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2019 20:15:40 GMT -5
After last night's train wreck I'm feeling exhausted. I came into the living room to sleep on the couch. That's a joke sleep was and still is nowhere to be found. All night laying in the dark thinking the most awful things. When the sunlight came through the window I thought to myself at least the sun is CUMMING. I feel like if I dropped off the earth nobody would even notice at this point. I am to the point where I fi d myself looking at couples everywhere I go and wondering are they fucking? Or I bet that man fucks his wife. It's so fucking depressing. What a shit night. I first and foremost had to stop looking at other couples and focus on me and mine. Secondly, I had to do some research into ED, porn addiction, SM's, and such. Thirdly, I had to look within and see who I was, what I wanted, what I could control, and what I could not. I also had to ask myself, do I just want to bitch and feel sorry for myself, or am I willing to take the hard steps needed to change what I can change. Eventually I was able to learn to speak up and start a dialogue with my husband. These steps took time, but once taken will get you to a better place ... maybe not to the better place you want and presently envision for your marriage, but at least a better place within yourself. The absolute worst thing I did was sit and stew in my head, tormented by my own thoughts, making myself crazy imagining all the possible "why's" and feeling it all my fault. That line of thought is not only draining and unproductive, but also insanely unhealthy.
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Post by tirefire on Mar 31, 2019 6:03:23 GMT -5
I completely understand. I used to get so miserable seeing the couples with lots of public touch (holding hands, touching the back, taking his arm, kissing). That sucks. I like the advice above to smile at people. Also, get some hard exercise at the gym and do something about the situation. Any forward progress will make you feel better. You deserve to be touched and to have good satisfying sex. Hang in there while you take steps to get to where you need to be. Come back here for support often.
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Post by choosinghappy on Mar 31, 2019 17:32:16 GMT -5
Just a note about looking at other couples and judging how happy/sexual/whatever they are: things are not always what they seem from the outside.
Just the other day I was at an event and noticed a friend and her husband seemed to have so much fun dancing together and seemed so in love. I commented on it to her and she confided in me that actually it was “awkward as fuck” since they hadn’t had alone time in almost a year due to raising kids. She said that they were both trying hard and that it was awkward for them both. It didn’t look that way at ALL to me.
I think it’s natural to compare (especially when you feel crappy about your own situation) but things aren’t always what they seem. Try to remember that if it makes you feel better.
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Post by saarinista on Apr 1, 2019 0:56:11 GMT -5
Good point, choosinghappy. I touch my husband affectionately quite often and he does the same for me. I care about him and love him for his good qualities. Problem is, the touch is not sexual. It's like hugging a sibling. No electricity at all. It was always kind of like that (non-electric) even when we were having sex. Sigh. Why did I think that would change for the better?
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Post by baza on Apr 1, 2019 1:36:48 GMT -5
After last night's train wreck I'm feeling exhausted. I came into the living room to sleep on the couch. That's a joke sleep was and still is nowhere to be found. All night laying in the dark thinking the most awful things. When the sunlight came through the window I thought to myself at least the sun is CUMMING. I feel like if I dropped off the earth nobody would even notice at this point. I am to the point where I fi d myself looking at couples everywhere I go and wondering are they fucking? Or I bet that man fucks his wife. It's so fucking depressing. What a shit night. My suggestion for you Sister jessie83As far as possible (and it is bloody hard to do) deal with your situation by sticking to the facts, and only the facts. Let all the emotional air out of the balloon, because an emotional reaction to these ILIASM situations is completely unhelpful and usually only serves to confuse the situation making it that much harder to deal with the problems. If you've got a support network, then there's the place for your emotional needs to be aired and vented with a trusted confidante - and it is important that you do unload emotionally from time to time. But when it's time to start looking at your ILIASM situation, you need to be pragmatic and deal only in the facts.
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