Perhaps time does not heal all wounds, but I think it allows for healing the majority of them. I remember you from the old EP days. You will find some of the carryover from that site here and I believe you will find a good deal of empathy here for the damage done to you by the time spent in a SM. Many here shared similar experiences. Your experience is especially traumatic because it still isn't over. Even following the divorce your X is still doing things when he can to torment you and make your life pretty miserable. It's terribly unfair to you. And to your children. I don't know if there is anything you can do legally to rein him in but I would talk to my attorney if I were you. Do as much as you can to rebuild your self esteem. I remember seeing pictures of you. You clearly are a very attractive woman. Your resent trip to a local pub and the attention you drew from the male patrons confirms your physical attractiveness. Rebuilding you self esteem may take some time. Small incremental step may be all you can do starting off, but even small steps add up and will eventually get you closer to your destination of no longer feeling broken. Take all the time you need before you put yourself back out there. What ever you are looking for will still be there 6months, a year or 2 years from now. Time can be your friend this time around.
...if anyone wants to listen. I feel very broken from so much I have been thru. I feel very victimized and exploited and used. Sex is the undercurrent of it all too. Funny because you were starved for sex during the marriage and then starved again afterwards. And as much as I'm starving for love and affection, I am afraid of putting myself out there because I feel so damaged.
Oh, I so understand how you feel. I felt so damaged after getting out of my SM that I didn't know if I'd ever be able to try dating again. I've been out a while, and I took the first year or so to work on me and get settled in my new life. After that I had hoped to maybe meet someone, but I didn't make that much of an effort. Now I'm trying and still unsuccessful. It is disheartening, but I'm going to keep trying. I'm (mostly) hopeful that I will eventually meet someone who wants an actual relationship. Take your time, heal, and I'm sure you will find someone.
We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one.
I would love to listen. I think it would be educational for the membership too. So often we put the emphasis on sex, but I think most of us realize it isn’t about the sex. It’s about the missing emotional intimacy. Sexlessness is just a symptom of that. And we all know treating the symptom doesn’t fix the underlying disease.
We could all run out and find sex if we really wanted it. But without intimacy, it’s a hollow victory and one that comes at a price I think. I’m sorry you got hurt. I hope you feel comfortable sharing more at some point.
Pointbreakgirl, don't expect to have this figured out so soon. Many people take 6 to 12 months just to figure out what they really want and in the process do not expect to find that one special someone but mostly look how to build friendships. I think it takes building friendships to figure out what works for you. Most people think they know what they want but the truth is what we "think we want" might not feel right so this is where the building your friends list comes into play. Sometimes it takes doing something for a while before we know if the shoe fits.
misssunnybunny: You're welcome! So glad to hear you had a great day
Jan 19, 2019 16:34:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: anyone hear anything lately from mrslowmaintenance or smartkat?
Jan 24, 2019 18:06:02 GMT -5
petrushka: Just saw the forecast for Mildura at 47C -- I hope you and Ms. Enna are going to be ok Baz. That's getting dangerous.
Jan 24, 2019 20:10:00 GMT -5
lifeinwoodinville: I last heard from mrslowmaintenance about a month ago. I have been in regular contact with her for the last year and a half. I feel comfortable in saying that her situation remains unchanged. If you want to know more PM me.
Jan 25, 2019 22:36:50 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey baza,...I know it's hot and dry down under. N.C. is having record rainfall. I would gladly trade some rain for some sunshine....
Feb 22, 2019 20:28:35 GMT -5
tamara68: Today it's steak and blowjob day! I suppose the steak is for those who don't get a blowjob.
Mar 14, 2019 16:49:49 GMT -5
petrushka: tamara68 Laughing with tears in my eyes. And my steak is going to be semolina gruel, due to some tummy upset :-\
Mar 15, 2019 1:11:10 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: So sad to hear the news from New Zealand. Boston Strong supports Kiwi Strong!!
Mar 15, 2019 7:46:22 GMT -5
petrushka: I was gobsmacked when I heard. This is just not us. In all of 2017 we had 37 murders in the country ..... I think the echo chambers of "social media" have a lot to answer for.
Mar 15, 2019 18:45:45 GMT -5
baza: Feeling for our Brothers and Sisters across the ditch Brother petrushka .
Mar 15, 2019 19:27:50 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: petrushka, I thought I read the headline wrong (this stuff happens here, not in NZ). It is frightening the hate that is being spread; it makes my heart hurt.
Mar 15, 2019 20:46:54 GMT -5
saarinista: All of us, IMHO, should try to be civil and kind as much as possible in person and online. I actively Tweet (civilly) on political matters and am horrified by the rancor & trolling on both sides of the spectrum, which only inflames unstable people.
Mar 19, 2019 23:21:20 GMT -5
saarinista: is anyone else watching March Madness?
Mar 24, 2019 11:44:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: doesn't much look like it...
Mar 27, 2019 12:20:10 GMT -5
saarinista: Well, my team is going to the Final Four! I am beyond thrilled. Basketball is life.
Apr 1, 2019 0:47:14 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Congrats! Yay! I don't know how many people see the shout box, I don't think it shows up not he mobile version of the site. Maybe post something in the Off Topic section and more folks may see it?
Apr 1, 2019 15:38:34 GMT -5
wewbwb: Or, maybe baseball season started . . .
Apr 2, 2019 5:27:34 GMT -5
flashjohn: saarinista, my alma mater, Texas Tech, is also in the final four.
Apr 3, 2019 14:59:01 GMT -5
saarinista: : flashjohn Ruh, roh. Then we have to be mortal enemies for the weekend because I went to MSU!
Apr 4, 2019 16:09:20 GMT -5