Post by northstarmom on Jan 26, 2019 23:24:27 GMT -5
smith 227 said: "I’d rather just not sleep in the same bed at all, but when I sleep in the spare room he gets upset and tells me he guess we’re just roommates now. As if we’re not already. I’ll start tonight."
Good. In reality, you are just roommates. Might as well have your sleeping quarters reflect that.
He's not "trying," he's "attempting"; not the same thing. Deploy a pillow, just like he does.
Thank you. That didn’t even occur to me as I’d rather just not sleep in the same bed at all, but when I sleep in the spare room he gets upset and tells me he guess we’re just roommates now. As if we’re not already. I’ll start tonight.
The financials have made it hard for me as well, but I decided to at least set the date and see where I am at that point. It's not some unambiguous date now. It's real and that way it's moving me forward on my exit plan. Good luck and keep us informed. We're here to support you. You and I may be starting our new lives around the same dates.
It’s hard to continue to love someone romantically who doesn’t love you back in the way you need to feel like a whole person.
I just want to give you a big hug smith227. This is terrible. You get zero love or affection that you need, and he uses you to get off when he needs to. When he’s “trying” (i.e. rubbing your butt for a few minutes) do you ever tell him want you want and need? Give details of what you’d like him to do so that it’s enjoyable for you too?
I absolutely love it when you respond bc I’ve read a lot of your posts on here and I think we have/had similar refusers. I’ve had the “talk” with him several times now. It’s not about the lasting 2 minutes, it’s about him thinking that doing that a couple times a month constitutes a romantic relationship and now that I’m not allowing myself to be used, he’s calling me the refuser. I’ve tried talking to him several times. He shuts down or tells me to fuck off and that I’m trying to cause problems. I do have an exit plan and I don’t see him in my future, it’s just financially it’s going to take me 6-8 months. Thank you everyone for responding.
I agree that as far as the touch-avoidance goes, our refusers sound similar. But my ex would not have told me to fuck off. I’m pretty sure that If he HAD he knew I would not have been around for long. He also was at least somewhat willing to talk about his issues and we did go to marriage counseling. In the end though, it just wasn’t fixable and I wasn’t willing to live like that. IMO all signs point to your refuser being unwilling to work on things or even talk about the problem. I’m glad to hear you have an exit plan in place. I would be surprised if it got any better, I’m sorry. On the bright side, by leaving you will be able to open yourself up to a respectful, loving, and mutually pleasurable sexual relationship again! Yay!
misssunnybunny: You're welcome! So glad to hear you had a great day
Jan 19, 2019 16:34:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: anyone hear anything lately from mrslowmaintenance or smartkat?
Jan 24, 2019 18:06:02 GMT -5
petrushka: Just saw the forecast for Mildura at 47C -- I hope you and Ms. Enna are going to be ok Baz. That's getting dangerous.
Jan 24, 2019 20:10:00 GMT -5
lifeinwoodinville: I last heard from mrslowmaintenance about a month ago. I have been in regular contact with her for the last year and a half. I feel comfortable in saying that her situation remains unchanged. If you want to know more PM me.
Jan 25, 2019 22:36:50 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey baza,...I know it's hot and dry down under. N.C. is having record rainfall. I would gladly trade some rain for some sunshine....
Feb 22, 2019 20:28:35 GMT -5