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Post by choosinghappy on Jan 27, 2019 0:15:14 GMT -5
I just want to give you a big hug smith227. This is terrible. You get zero love or affection that you need, and he uses you to get off when he needs to. When he’s “trying” (i.e. rubbing your butt for a few minutes) do you ever tell him want you want and need? Give details of what you’d like him to do so that it’s enjoyable for you too? I absolutely love it when you respond bc I’ve read a lot of your posts on here and I think we have/had similar refusers. I’ve had the “talk” with him several times now. It’s not about the lasting 2 minutes, it’s about him thinking that doing that a couple times a month constitutes a romantic relationship and now that I’m not allowing myself to be used, he’s calling me the refuser. I’ve tried talking to him several times. He shuts down or tells me to fuck off and that I’m trying to cause problems. I do have an exit plan and I don’t see him in my future, it’s just financially it’s going to take me 6-8 months. Thank you everyone for responding. I agree that as far as the touch-avoidance goes, our refusers sound similar. But my ex would not have told me to fuck off. I’m pretty sure that If he HAD he knew I would not have been around for long. He also was at least somewhat willing to talk about his issues and we did go to marriage counseling. In the end though, it just wasn’t fixable and I wasn’t willing to live like that. IMO all signs point to your refuser being unwilling to work on things or even talk about the problem. I’m glad to hear you have an exit plan in place. I would be surprised if it got any better, I’m sorry. On the bright side, by leaving you will be able to open yourself up to a respectful, loving, and mutually pleasurable sexual relationship again! Yay!
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