Add " sex xx times a month" to the list and say you get as much right to add things to the list as she does and say it is all part of a give-take system. Does she have to agree with anything you put on the list? No but she should explain what would prevent her from doing some of your ideas. BTW don't stop at the sex part add other things in order of value to you and to the value of the relationship.
If you read the "question for the day" there is a question 'where d you want to go to and why' Well add the "why" part to each of your W's list for each of her goals or things she wants to work on.
And just because there is something on the list it doesn't mean it has to have specific answers. Some answers could come from less practical wants or needs. Put several answers or reasons for each theoretical goal. It is called "brain storming" where any answer is out there to discuss and no answer is an automatic given even if it is the best answer.
My Wife showed me a list she composed of things she wants to achieve in 2019. All very commendable stuff, healthier living, decorate various rooms etc etc.
I didn't see 'Fix sex life' on there though; maybe I should alert her to this glaring omission ? Should go down like a lead balloon......
Of course it's not on there, it's not an issue for her. It's not a glaring omission in her life.
The spectrum of solutions here on ILIASM generally consist of Stay, Cheat or Leave. I resisted that logic for quite some time thinking that there was a fourth category "Stay and it gets better". There is quite a bit of statistical evidence that, bar some short term stress or illness, the fourth category doesn't exist.
But, if you are still hopeful of creating this category despite it being a statistical anomaly here's my advice. It can't be about the sex. Many partners, rightly so, feel pressured about the act itself. It has to be about creating intimacy in the marriage, creating a space for your sex life to grow. I would approach it that way and you'll find out very quickly what kind of situation you're dealing with.
This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
saarinista: is anyone else watching March Madness?
Mar 24, 2019 11:44:48 GMT -5
worksforme2: doesn't much look like it...
Mar 27, 2019 12:20:10 GMT -5
saarinista: Well, my team is going to the Final Four! I am beyond thrilled. Basketball is life.
Apr 1, 2019 0:47:14 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Congrats! Yay! I don't know how many people see the shout box, I don't think it shows up not he mobile version of the site. Maybe post something in the Off Topic section and more folks may see it?
Apr 1, 2019 15:38:34 GMT -5
wewbwb: Or, maybe baseball season started . . .
Apr 2, 2019 5:27:34 GMT -5
flashjohn: saarinista, my alma mater, Texas Tech, is also in the final four.
Apr 3, 2019 14:59:01 GMT -5
saarinista: : flashjohn Ruh, roh. Then we have to be mortal enemies for the weekend because I went to MSU!
Apr 4, 2019 16:09:20 GMT -5
worksforme2: The add attachment says a max of 1mb...I see plenty of videos that are way longer than that...how do I do that? My video is 4.97 mbs
Apr 25, 2019 20:10:25 GMT -5
h: The videos posted aren't attached. They are links to videos outside the site.
Apr 26, 2019 14:09:04 GMT -5
sexlessinga: Hi guys just joined
May 10, 2019 20:49:28 GMT -5
worksforme2: @mslowmaintenance….long time no see, welcome back...
May 29, 2019 9:30:25 GMT -5
noregretz: You can never outrun a Grizzly bear, but that's ok. You only have to outrun the person you're with....
Jun 15, 2019 12:28:09 GMT -5
solodriver: or in this case your refuser.
Jun 16, 2019 19:21:47 GMT -5