Add " sex xx times a month" to the list and say you get as much right to add things to the list as she does and say it is all part of a give-take system. Does she have to agree with anything you put on the list? No but she should explain what would prevent her from doing some of your ideas. BTW don't stop at the sex part add other things in order of value to you and to the value of the relationship.
If you read the "question for the day" there is a question 'where d you want to go to and why' Well add the "why" part to each of your W's list for each of her goals or things she wants to work on.
And just because there is something on the list it doesn't mean it has to have specific answers. Some answers could come from less practical wants or needs. Put several answers or reasons for each theoretical goal. It is called "brain storming" where any answer is out there to discuss and no answer is an automatic given even if it is the best answer.
My Wife showed me a list she composed of things she wants to achieve in 2019. All very commendable stuff, healthier living, decorate various rooms etc etc.
I didn't see 'Fix sex life' on there though; maybe I should alert her to this glaring omission ? Should go down like a lead balloon......
Of course it's not on there, it's not an issue for her. It's not a glaring omission in her life.
The spectrum of solutions here on ILIASM generally consist of Stay, Cheat or Leave. I resisted that logic for quite some time thinking that there was a fourth category "Stay and it gets better". There is quite a bit of statistical evidence that, bar some short term stress or illness, the fourth category doesn't exist.
But, if you are still hopeful of creating this category despite it being a statistical anomaly here's my advice. It can't be about the sex. Many partners, rightly so, feel pressured about the act itself. It has to be about creating intimacy in the marriage, creating a space for your sex life to grow. I would approach it that way and you'll find out very quickly what kind of situation you're dealing with.
misssunnybunny: You're welcome! So glad to hear you had a great day
Jan 19, 2019 16:34:01 GMT -5
worksforme2: anyone hear anything lately from mrslowmaintenance or smartkat?
Jan 24, 2019 18:06:02 GMT -5
petrushka: Just saw the forecast for Mildura at 47C -- I hope you and Ms. Enna are going to be ok Baz. That's getting dangerous.
Jan 24, 2019 20:10:00 GMT -5
lifeinwoodinville: I last heard from mrslowmaintenance about a month ago. I have been in regular contact with her for the last year and a half. I feel comfortable in saying that her situation remains unchanged. If you want to know more PM me.
Jan 25, 2019 22:36:50 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hey baza,...I know it's hot and dry down under. N.C. is having record rainfall. I would gladly trade some rain for some sunshine....
Feb 22, 2019 20:28:35 GMT -5