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Post by sadkat on Dec 27, 2019 16:09:46 GMT -5
What kind of surprise gifts?
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Post by obobfla on Dec 27, 2019 17:00:18 GMT -5
Regarding what we want for Christmas..... I guess it's time for an update from SurferGirl. Does anyone remember me? It's okay. I don't remember myself either. I feel the need to chime in because it's Christmas....and because I made a HELL OF A YEAR. I made $900,000 this year in passive income. I'm only saying this because I'm anonymous and you don't know me and can't trip and fall on my property and sue me. I bought an AMG with cash and....other stuff. I don't even like cars, but I'm dating some dude from NASCAR, so now I have an AMG. I have a boyfriend who worships me AND I get regular hot sex....finally. But I'm saying all this because my relationships with my kids -- which were formally very strong and solid -- got sabotaged by my ex and nothing else matters to me. I don't know what you guys think is successful, but to me, this is the only thing that matters now that I've attained all the things everyone wishes for.... At the end of my life, I just want to love and be loved. And divorce has hurt my relationships with my minor children. And it sucks. I hope it recovers. I don't know if it was worth it. All I know is that I wanted to get laid so badly. And after I filled that void, I realized that in the depth of my being, that the thing I want is intimacy -- to be known and seen and understood....and still loved. Hey surfergirl! How can I ever forget you? I had a great time meeting you at that beachside bar. Glad to see things are working out for you. I know a few people who work or have worked at NASCAR. And I won’t fall on your property and sue you. But I might ask to borrow your car. I think your kids will come around. It will take time, though. Kids have a way of seeing through things. I am dealing with a 17-year-old right now. From the time he turned 13, I became stupid. My sister explained that I will be stupid until sometime in his mid 20s, when he realizes that I was right all along. Whatever you do, don’t try to buy things for them. Just find a way to spend some time with them. Let them vent. As tough as divorce is on kids, it’s nothing compared to what my son went through losing his mother. He took a girl to his school’s homecoming dance. It was the girl’s first formal dance, so she, her dad, her mom, and her stepmother met us beforehand for pictures. The stepmother took a picture of the girl together with her divorced parents. Everyone was all smiles. While it was great to see them all get along, it reminded my son and I what we had lost. Trust me, they will reach out to you eventually.
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Post by DryCreek on Dec 27, 2019 17:11:19 GMT -5
What was one activity you enjoyed over Christmas? Heck, not even Oreos! I did, however, enjoy some fun conversation with my brother about ideas he has for projects I’d like to collaborate with him on.
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Post by isthisit on Dec 27, 2019 17:23:43 GMT -5
I made some wonderful food which was enjoyed by everyone.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 27, 2019 17:29:31 GMT -5
What kind of surprise gifts? Gift cards mailed to my tenants ( hundreds of dollars). A sexy toy for my woman! (A new attachment for the Magic Wand) Sexy fishnet stockings for my woman! I also gave myself a gift. I spent several hours repairing and rebuilding a concrete lighthouse statue that sits in my front yard. It was a gift from a family who owns a thrift store. It stands 3 ft. tall. The lighthouse lost half its paint from the freak hail storm we received this summer. A very nice afternoon, 75 degrees, sunny, and some alone time. I am still in my own healing process from my divorce. This was my first Christmas with no contact from my kids. I try to dwell on my positives! like my home and my happiness from my hobbies (painting and rebuilding) while my woman and I spent the day together snuggling and loving on each other. How about you sadkat?
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Post by Handy on Dec 27, 2019 23:00:36 GMT -5
I actually feel reluctant to get a gift.
The Christmas food was good and the invite from a friend to a mostly Christmas meal was also good.
Today I went to an out of the way, very small thrift (over stocked or close to expiration date) items grocery store and talked with an older woman about apples. I have no idea what her financial status is but she didn't look like she had much. When I checked out I spent $5 and gave the cashier $10. I said the extra $5 was for the lady I spoke with about apples, "they (apple varieties) are all good." I left not knowing what happened next.
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Post by saarinista on Dec 27, 2019 23:58:26 GMT -5
Giving is often the best gift of all.
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Post by lessingham on Dec 28, 2019 4:26:01 GMT -5
Going to midnight mass. There is sonething peaceful and moving to be in a church at that hour. I feel the whole weight of the obligations of the season lift. I sit with the coughers, the slightly drunk and the half asleep.it is we, the great unwashed gathering to meet the Christ child, one with the shepherds on the hill.
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Post by saarinista on Dec 28, 2019 4:27:25 GMT -5
Yeah I went to church too. Virgin birth. What an SM concept! Forgive me, God.
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Post by worksforme2 on Dec 28, 2019 8:44:14 GMT -5
For the 1st time in a while I took in a movie, the Star Wars last episode. It wasn't bad. It really wasn't good, but it wasn't bad. After the movie I went out for Chinese, again something I hadn't done in a while. Part of the Chinese leftovers made a meal for my animal. Who knew she was a chink food fan?
EDIT: I west to church services on Christmas eve.
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Post by sadkat on Dec 28, 2019 10:09:23 GMT -5
greatcoastal- it sounds like you had an awesome Christmas! I spent it with my stbx and son. We are working toward establishing a friendship- one very similar to what we had before I pulled the plug. I’m hopeful we will find success. We are both committed to supporting the family unit for the sake of our son. It makes me very sad when one parent decides it’s a good idea to alienate a child from the other parent. This is vengeful behavior that only hurts the child in the end. Hang in there! I hope your kids will come around in 2020.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 28, 2019 10:45:52 GMT -5
greatcoastal - it sounds like you had an awesome Christmas! I spent it with my stbx and son. We are working toward establishing a friendship- one very similar to what we had before I pulled the plug. I’m hopeful we will find success. We are both committed to supporting the family unit for the sake of our son. It makes me very sad when one parent decides it’s a good idea to alienate a child from the other parent. This is vengeful behavior that only hurts the child in the end. Hang in there! I hope your kids will come around in 2020. Thank you for that sadkat! Your goal is certainly a reflection of your caring giving nature Continue to keep your boundaries. As far as my kids coming around? I have read (can't find it immediately) that the odds are in my favor, however....I also read articles about being prepared for the worst. There are those cases where they do not come back and stay alienated, afraid, and bitter for the rest of their lives. Another factor for me to deal with,- to understand, and be more patient and forgiving- is that they are going through their teenage years! Between the ages of 13 and 22 mom and dad are stupid and don't know sh_t. Then suddenly, --Dad/mom was right!
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Post by angeleyes65 on Dec 28, 2019 11:27:09 GMT -5
I think the best part of Christmas for me was that it was not awkward like the 2 before it. Hopefully next year will be even better. I hadnt really spent much time with my grandson in the last few weeks so getting to keep him while they went to the movies and out to eat with their dad was really nice. Trying to make things easy on the kids I told them whatever time worked for them. So I ended up being in the last spot. I think my house was the one they were happiest about and thought was get the rest out of the way they could relax. But my daughter's husband's has aspbergers and I believe my son does also. So by the time they got to me they were just done. And my grandson was tired and my boyfriend pulled something in his neck giving him a headache so he was uncomfortable at best. But all in all I was thankful that they now feel comfortable with my bf and house. So it should only keep getting better.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 28, 2019 11:55:10 GMT -5
I actually feel reluctant to get a gift. This^^^ is something you can work on yourself. A ' giver' must also learn to be a ' receiver'. I remember Nat King Cole's song "Nature Boy"..."The greatest thing, you'll ever learn, is just to love...and be loved in return". For example: My woman told me what she wanted for Christmas. She said " just some makeup and a handbag". I informed her," do you know how many varieties, colors, styles, brands, flavors, sizes, there are of handbags and makeup!??. Write it down or show me, give me some help here!" I asked for a gift [ her showing me exactly what she wanted] I received it! Okay...so it wasn't any BIG surprise, but I got her the right ones and the right amount. Not to mention the other purse that she had picked up first, and later chose a different one. ( I bought her both of them) You have been conditioned that your wants and needs don't matter. Take the new year and surround yourself with people who do give and receive. Like the great people who respond back to you here on this forum!
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Post by Handy on Dec 28, 2019 15:14:42 GMT -5
greatcoastal , I spend a lot of time on somethings before I make a purchase so I get all of the I's dotted and the T's crossed so I sort of have my mind made up about what is good and what fits my ideas of what is decent and reasonably priced. A male friend had a Boy Scout Troop my son was in when I was over-worked and sort of down and out. He almost died and it effected his memory so I help him out a couple times a month. He tries to pay me but all I am doing is paying him back for what he did for my son in Scouts. This year he gave me some chocolate truffles made from dark chocolate and not much sugar. They were something I wouldn't buy because of the price but I am enjoying them after I adjusted my opinion about price verses what people consider quality. Forty years ago my older sister schooled me on the art of accepting gifts without feeling I needed to deserve the gift and how giving brings joy to some people, which was something (joy of giving) strange to me mostly because in my life up to then giving meant sacrifice because there was little money in my life to buy things to give away. I used to think another person giving meant they did without something and I certainly didn't want others to have to sacrifice on my account. If I had what people throw away now, when I was a kid, I would have felt rich back then. My point is, things changed so I adapted but it took a long time for me to change. At one time a counselor suggested I had a difficult time with changes and my different idea of how "things should be."
Letting go of "how things should be" and living life as it is dealt to me on a daily basis has helped.
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